So, this woman took the bus I was in. I was sitting, and there were no free seats. She wasn't old at all. In fact I think I was older. But the point is I couldn't really tell if she was pregnant or overweight. Should I have given her my seat, and offend her if she was only overweight?
2006-08-29 10:24:03 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Point taken. but my question is wouldn't she have thought I was giving her my seat BECAUSE I thought she was pregnant?
2006-08-29 10:30:05 · update #1
Let me tell you I stood up, pretending I had to get off the bus, and stayed up out of her sight. And I think she took the seat. But that's not my question.
2006-08-29 10:31:46 · update #2
You could have asked her, "would you like a seat?" and if she didn't want/need it, she would probably have said "no, thanks, I'm fine." While if she did need to sit she'd have been extremely grateful
2006-08-29 10:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by Annie anne 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Could be that I am old fashioned as it would be great for any male to give up his seat for a female and well done you for doing so. Even if we are not pregnant or overweight sometimes us women suffer from those awful time of the month cramps and pain and really would like a seat as your stomach feels as though it will drop out if you don't sit down.
By the same Token I think that females should offer their seat to an older or in-firmed male or one that is carrying loads of shopping
2006-08-29 10:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you said "As you're pregnant would you like a seat?", I don't see why she would have assumed that you offered it to her for that reason. Men sometimes offer a seat to me and I just figure they are being polite.
But is the question really that you only wanted to give it to her IF she was pregnant and not if she wasn't? And couldn't tell?
Well, you could always err on the side of politeness. I think that women who are actually offended by that in a feminist way are kind of overdoing it. You can always say "No thank you." and be polite too!
2006-08-29 10:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by Rose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ooooh, so difficult. I think I would've tried to catch her eye to see if she was looking at me in expectation! It was easy when I was a teenager, offered my seat to everyone, but you're right in being careful. It's good to be courteous, but it's often not appreciated and you don't want to get an earful for your trouble.
It would've probably been easier if she hadn't been overweight, and just thought you were being chivalrous, but I've mistaken a big girl for a pregnant one, and I think it was the MOST embarrassing experience of my life.
In my defence I hadn't seen her for about 2 years, and I knew she'd got married about a year previously and she'd gone from about an 8 to a 22... I said 'Congratulations'! She asked what for..... Uh Oh. Lots of quick thinking (although the silence seemed to be minutes not seconds)... and I said.... well I know it was ages ago, but it's the first time I've seen you since the wedding! Don't think I really got away with it though, lots of blushing and stuttering didn't help!
2006-08-29 10:36:31 · answer #4 · answered by local_shop_girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'd give up my seat to anyone. It's only a seat and I've not yet got to the stage where I actually need one. I am a bit concerned about the thought of travelling on buses though.
2006-08-29 10:39:02 · answer #5 · answered by bob kerr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I am a woman, not old and not pregnant, and I really don't care if a bloke doesn't offer me his seat on a bus. It never even occurs to me most of the time. If he did, I would probably politely decline. Unless he was particularly attractive, in which case I would probably sit on his knee and nuzzle his ear until he called the police...........
2006-08-29 10:34:08 · answer #6 · answered by arwen4838 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm old fashioned when it comes to this sort of thing. Regardless of whether she was old or pregnant, you should have offered her your seat. If you had offered me the seat (I can't be mistaken for being pregnant, and I'm obviously not old.) I would have smiled and thanked you graciously. I'm sure there are some women who would immediately jump your throat and chastised you for being sexist or what have you. These women are responsible for killing chivalry.
2006-08-29 14:58:52 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have given her your seat no matter if she was older, younger, overweight, pregnant, skinny or whatever. It's just the proper thing to do.
2006-08-29 10:43:07 · answer #8 · answered by Max B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, if you were unsure, it would probably be best not to offer her a seat. After all, she could have asked for a seat if she was pregnant, I used to do that, and it wasn't a problem.
2006-08-29 10:29:19 · answer #9 · answered by Jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should have given up your seat - if she wasn't pregnant she'd have assumed that you were just a gent offering his seat to a lady.
2006-08-29 10:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by Hello Dave 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my best friend has a few extra pounds on her. She LOVES to play pregnant when she gets on a crowded bus - and of course always gets a seat. Never felt offended about it. So try...
2006-08-29 10:33:28 · answer #11 · answered by monebabsy928 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋