I've been confused about this for a while. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months. He's a good guy. He loves me. He doesn't ill-treat me. But I am terribly unhappy. We spend a lot of time with each other. We hang out a lot. But I don't feel special. I know I am special. I know I am important to him. But I don't feel cherished. I appreciate him for the things he does do, I appreciate him for being a good boyfriend. But I am not sure if I feel appreciated for being a good girlfriend. Little things (and big things) would make me feel good; romantic gestures. Gentleman-like courtesy (like holding the car door), buying and surprising me with gifts (flowers, etc.), planning a romantic, thoughtful evening out, etc. All that and a couple of other things are contributing factors to why I am not completely happy. I've tried to talk to him about these things, but maybe I am not doing so properly. Maybe a more direct approach? Or is he just not getting it? What should I do?
2006-08-29 10:11:27 · 11 answers · asked by lostlittlegirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(Of course, Yahoo Answers are only limited to 1,000 characters, so not all can be explained.) Another thing that really bothers me is that he still talks to his ex-girlfriend quite a bit (although I've noticed a simmering down of that lately). I understand that two people want to remain friends and all, but you don't have to make it a priority to talk to each other. Your priority should be who you're with now. And I've noticed a change in that too lately. So maybe things are getting better. -BUT- I still feel bad. I'm feeling as if my needs aren't being met. And possibly that our connection that we once had is falling apart because we don't engage in special activities. We hang out, yes, and I love that. But like I was mentioning before, we don't do romantic things, just for the both of us. And I've tried communicating that to him, but also as mentioned, maybe I'm not doing so properly. Or maybe he's not into the romance thing. Or maybe he's just clueless about it. (sigh) What do I do?
2006-08-29 10:31:27 · update #1
A similar situation:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=ApgLEMuyIyMUCZWSjDUmYhgjzKIX?qid=20060812212740AAG4i03
Only I don't avoid. :).
2006-08-29 10:47:10 · update #2
as dr phil would say, you teach people how to treat you. As the last person said, have you dont anything to show him that you love him? possibly he shows his affection another way. Hes a guy they dont always think of "romance" the same way we do. I know my boyfriend of 5 months is a great boyfriend too...but he doesnt buy me the roses or the "chivalristic" ways of romance. His way of showing me that he loves me is with the little things. He checks my car fluids, he takes me for dinner once and a while, he always holds my hand and shows me physically that he loves me very much and i appreciate it. Hes such a cuddler and he is very loving and he listens. I find it awesome when he picks up his laundary off the floor to put it in the laundary basket every once and a while, or does the dishes, means hes considering me so i dont have to do it. If you boyfriend is like mine, tell him directly what you want. say "(name) i really like recieving flowers, i find it romantic" Also give him incentive to want to do it. Guys are looking for a payoff with anything they are going to do. Hes going to think, if i buy her flowers, whats in it for me? so take incentive and him and TELL HIM DIRECTLY what you want you will get results.
2006-08-29 10:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask this then you know that you aren't being treated as you would like to be.
I like the fact that you aren't ashamed to admit that you want to be cherished. Men think it's all about high maintainence but we know better, don't we?
Can i be blunt, here? Nothing you can say will change his behavior. You have to change yours. Stop being the "wonderful girlfriend" for a while.
I promise you he will notice and then perhaps things will change.
If they don't, then maybe it is time to look for someone who can reciprocate those "special" feelings.
2006-08-29 17:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel u can find someone better
that can make you feel
special and romantic
than go for it
but because he's a good guy
dont break his heart
break up in a REALLY nice way
2006-08-29 17:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm let's see....he's a good guy....he loves you....he treats you nice......yeah you should leave.....typical grass is greener on the other side beatch.
Do this guy a favor you miserable shrew and get out of his life....best thing that can happen for him!!
2006-08-29 17:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well by the way you say he acts, he seems white. Go for a black folk. Also, give your brother 500 dollars right now. He seems like a perfect little angel who deserves the money. I AM SICK OF THESE MOTHERFUCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE.
2006-08-29 17:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
welcome to reality.....i still think that u should let a man pursue u to no end, do not make him feel he owns u or else that will happen, no more effort to woo u anymore. and if u are so unhappy with the relationship..reevaluate...revaluate...and communicate...in a nice way. if it doesn't work.......ba--bye
2006-08-29 17:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what was the last romantic thoughtful thing you did for him?
2006-08-29 17:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by aggie babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him what you want. Why you make things complicated unnesessarily?
2006-08-29 17:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by Masoud J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just follow your heart. That's what I do.
2006-08-29 17:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by audiguy 41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't but, do want u wanna do
2006-08-29 17:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by LOVERGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋