Is this none of my business?

Question

I am 22 and my sister is 15.I have recently moved out of state for school and so now she has run of the house.(it's just us two and my parents) My sister is a sophomore in high school and over summer, she got caught drinking.I know this is completely normal becuase she isn't a baby, but I assumed it was a one time thing. She got in trouble for her actions by my parents. Well, I guessed her password for her myspace and was able to see all of her messages.I feel like I shouldn't have checked them but I felt like I should check up on her, since I wasn't there to do so.We are close but I was surprised at what I read.The drinking wasn't a one time thing. She still continues to do so and sneaks around and my parents have no idea.I'm not mad that she didn't divulge details of her drinking and, just disappointed in her actions.She is a smart kid, and at 15, should NOT be drinking.I haven't told my mom, but I am hesitant to approach my sister b/c of how I found out. help?

Answer 1

i'd say talk to your sister, leave your mother out of it for now. don't tell her how you found out, because she won't trust you, and she should, because you care. just ease it into conversation, suggest to your mother that she keep a closer eye on your sister. Are road trips to visit you a possibility? Etc. hope i helped!

Answer 2

Try having a mature open and honest conversation with your sister. Hopefully she is looking to you as a good role model. You could explain that you remembering being 15 and drinking, smoking pot, becoming whatever and just want to check in with her to make sure that if she is doing anything like this that she is using responsibly and recreationally only. She may try and BS you also or say what she thinks you may want to hear, but just explain that you care about her and her safety and would appreciate her being honest with you. It's been quite a while since I was 15 but can remember the games we all played trying to act like adults. Also I work with young people in conflict with the law so see these types of behaviours on a regular basis and it is very normal for a kid her age. Best of luck to both you and your young sis.

Answer 3

For a start you had no right to be checking her myspace that none of your business noisy. She is at least allowed some privacy regardless what she did. Your afraid to confront her because like you said your going to have to admit how you got that information in the first place. I do understand you concern about your sister but have a word in private to her find out what really bothering her. I'm sure there is a good reason to why she in behaving like this

Answer 4

in most cases this is normal. drinking is a curiosity.

peeking into her life is a no no like that... the whole trust thing but you are legit in your consern.

talk to her.. don't preach now.. take it slow.. don't worry for now drinking is a curiosity for most.. i was like that.. i got carried away a bit.. then one day i got bored with it... didn't thrill me and i was tired from it.

remind her she's a smart kid.. she's got enough time to have fun.. just let her know she's got to invest in herself and the education.. before you all know it.. you'll all be older, hopefully wiser and enjoying life.

one step at a time.

don't worry about peeking.. you're not treterous.

you're worried.

talk with her. don't go full force at once, that'll chase her away and make her angry and defensive and maybe escalate the problem.

don't shame her.. just talk as if it's normal.. it is.. and share stories.. act like it's nothing.. putting way too much pressure on the situation has a backlash effect most times i've seen.

when i was caught, paw gave me a beer and said.. now why you drinking this crap for? who taught you that? do you like it? then moved onto something else.. but he would ask every so often if i was keeping up with studies and that i'm not going to ruin myself with booze... so on. because he didn't make a huge ordeal out of it.. impressed me like.. hum.. ok... so what.. alright.. this is normal i am not afraid.. or feeling guilty but i guess he's right.. i am young yet and i do have school too..

i only drank a few every so often... then when i left school i increased a bit.. held on for a few years then got tired of it.. moved on.

now i make wine... make money from it too!

yeh!

sorry.. just relax.. don't overdo it around her.. let her feel comfortable.

Answer 5

Hi
That is a good question. I had a similar problem with my younger sister. She is 8 years younger. When she was in high school she made friends with the woman who provided day care for our grandmother. This woman was nice but she was too friendly with my younger siblings. I found out later that she let them come over to her house, drink and smoke. Of course I was mad especially because this woman, who was in her last 30s, felt is was okay to cover for kids. I tried talking to my sister but she just thought I was crazy, I guess it was her rebellious years. I recommend you tell your parents and tell them not to tell her it was you. This way maybe she will come and confide in you and you can hopefully talk some sense into her. i hope this helps.

Answer 6

It wasn't exactly a bad thing to look into her myspace. you only did it because you care. But remember "the best intentions end with the worst happenings" think before you speak. But don't hesitate to tell her because she may get mad but when she gets older she'll understand. It's either her getting mad, or letting her screw up her life. If it's only drinking now, think of how much worse it will get. Speak out, tell her your heart, its all you can do. What could help is talking your mom into sending her to a summer christian bible camp or on the weekends youth group. They changed my life dramatically, it could help hers as well.

Answer 7

I know it's not fair for you to have to jump into the middle of this. Please talk to your sister and tell her that you know what life is like as a high school student these days. Tell her that she needs to quit this $hit right away or you will tell your parents if you find out it is continuing. A high school student can become an alcoholic or move on to drugs.

Answer 8

Sound like you care enough for your sister.. ME!! I would tell my mother and get her off myspace, thats the first thing.. That sites nothing but trouble for kids..Sounds like shes headed down the wrong road better do it fast sweetheart... Your friend from Tennessee... By the way I'm not some kid saying this I'm 60 years old.. Help her fast.. ROB

Answer 9

If your sister doesn't want to learn and listen, then dont tell your parents. By getting her in trouble then she'll just continue doing whatever shes up too. Lets her learn her lesson, and let her face the consequences by her self when she gets caught or in trouble.

Answer 10

Hi babe! I see your predicament... How about you "try" asking your sister if there is anything she wants to talk about... see if she'll fess up. If she won't budge, confront her, and tell her that she better fess up to your mom and dad, or you will do it for her.

It's going to be difficult, and she will probably get pissed off, But wouldn't you rather her be pissed off for a bit, than have her get raped at a party, get pregnant, end up in an accident, or die from alcohol poisoning!?