Do your parents continually remind you of a mistake you made in your past?

Question

What ever happened to 'forgive and forget?' Some parents must be part elephant because they can remember your mistakes down to the date it happened. Having said that, do they constantly remind you of a mistake you made? If so, how do you respond when they do?

Answer 1

yep, and I'm 40. But, don't worry, I shoot it right back at them. Family reunions are just a ball of fun for us.

Answer 2

My parents did this too and I would just tune them out but that doesn't say that it didn't succeed to make me feel worthless. What is so hard for me is now that I have my own children my husband does this to them. I always intervene and tell him to stop it and then remind my children that what they did in the past IS in the past and that hopefully they learned from it. I see no point in constantly pointing out someone's shortfalls from the past. It accomplishes nothing. My children would tell their father that whatever it was he was harping about was in the past, they haven't repeated it, and won't do it again and to please concentrate on the present situation. I wish I would have had the guts to have done that when I was a kid. Try that with your parents. If you don't have the type of relationship that you can voice your opinion at that time, write them a letter letting them know how it makes you feel when they do this. Also let them know that you are making strides toward growing up and you will make mistakes and that they have to have patience. You apppreciate their guidance and wisdom and will try to not repeat any mistakes but after all you are human. Don't let this get you down. Sometimes parents get so ramped up that they really don't know what to say so they rely on the same old thing to keep saying. I truly hoope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 3

My mother constantly reminds me of mistakes I made years ago. I just tell her that I have forgiven myself and learned from my past, and since I'm the only person that has to live with my faults, she should forget about it too. If she continues, I tell her that I choose not to bring up every single thing she has done wrong, because I know how uncomfortable it would make her feel. Then, I ask her to exercise the same humility.

Answer 4

i guess if you repeat the same mistake again and again they may have to keep reminding you. you know what, in your life time there might be lots of other people who do the same thing. sometimes it's the guilt trip, that's not good at all. sometimes is to remind us that the consequences of a certain decision might be bad or hurtful so they bring up the past as a reminder or example, that's not bad at all. sorry that you have to hear it one way or another. if it's the guilt trip, you don't deserve that and if it's because of a repeated offense you should already know that...

Answer 5

As a parent I am sad to say that your parents are choosing to constantly remind you of mistakes. My father did the same. However, as an adult I choose to not do the same to my own kids.
I am also sad to say that as a child and young adult I just took it and internalized it. Now after finally coming to grips with the fact that it was nothing I did; everyone makes mistakes. My dad chose to say those things to me, I have a nice relationship with him, but it's very polite, and quite controlled as far as my children are concerned.
As far as a response, I wish now I'd just said thanks for pointing that out, and then just walked away. I probably would not have the tmj issues from locking my jaw and gritting my teeth.

Answer 6

I respond: " If you want I never do that, don't say that again! I'm a girl who make mistakes and I learn not do it again, but if you remember all my mistakes, you never forgive me, and you don't love me, cause love forgive all the mistakes. If you remember my mistakes, you force me to do it again, and not trusting you...." Your parents are so selfish and they have to remember those were kids too, and make a lot of mistakes... Don't be afraid, talk honestly with them. Good luck, pal

Answer 7

Yes my mom will not stop. I recently got engaged and she would not be happy for me, she had to jinx it and when I responded to that she braught out the bag of trix...the thing is that she doesnt even know me and she thinks taht by assuming she does she can box me and push me around so that I become like a lil lamb and say " O mommy dearest you are right and I am wrong". The way to respond is to protect yourself. Make sure you do not sway from the person you are no matter what they say. Its called manipulation, and control...you deserve so much better and know there are times when you are right. Know it no matter what they say. If you know you dealt with something then walk out of the room dont flinch and just go on with life, and when they are rude remove yourself from that conversation. Its not worth it. The people the closest to you will hurt you the most and regardless what religious fanatics say...I am a christian and I belief that God gave you a brain to think and to act accordingly. If you know that God is directing your path also know thins that no matter what happens, he is King of your life. He made you fearfully and wonderfully! You are perfect to him. Be strong and know who you are.

Answer 8

I have a wife to remind me of every past mistake I've ever made...even stuff I did before meeting her.

It's funny, she calls herself a Christian....and a forgiving Christian...and get can't over the past. What's more funny is that I have never done anything to her...she just likes to hold things over people's heads.

Answer 9

If you are talking about recent past such as last couple months and you have not shown them you regret them and you are responsible now, they will remind you. If they are past things from way back, and you are a mature responsible person now, then you need to have a serious talk with them about forgetting the past. No one should be reminded of their past if they have changed. Everyone deserves to be forgiven.

Answer 10

YOUR NOT KIDDING! lol My mother was reminding me of the time I put a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich in the heater when I was 7 cuz I didnt wanna eat it! The heat came up and the sandwhich REEKED! 20 years later- I was still hearing about it! crazy huh? I try to tell my hubby to let it go when our son has done something wrong! Ok he did it. Ok he was wrong. Ok he is grounded. NOW drop it and quit bringing it up! GOD HOW I HATE THAT!

Answer 11

Time 2 say.
Now listen folks," it's in the past, let it go & stop reminding me.
Give me a chance 2 score some victories B4 UR constant reminisces put me of entirely "
It's worth a go & what I would say.