Hi, right this is a long story, im getting married next year i havent sent out the invitations yet but the thing is, i dont get on with my hubby 2bs cousin, she made my life hell, and i stopped speaking to her the thing is when you start a relationship with someone, you expect that you automatically are friends with there family members dont you. But a while ago now his cousin stormed over to me and started to have a go at me not nowing all the details first, i then found out she had been slagging me off to my hubby 2b and she also went home saying i had been saying stuff to her, which made her mum his auntie hate me, and try to be nice to me so when she gets drunk she can rip me to pieces to my face. But the thing his his cousin plays all nice in front of his family, but when she is with her mates she stands there an just stares and giggle like a little school child, even my mother has witness this. The thing is i do you think i should invite her to my wedding.
2006-08-29 09:21:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have troubles with my nerves and i know that if she is there i will feel uneasy, She said she wouldnt dream of ruining my wedding, this is what his mum says, but she it just the same as her. Help, I dont know what to do, My parents has said she aint allowed to come, but i dont know whats for the best.
2006-08-29 09:22:57 · update #1
Hi i have told him, and sat down and talked to him,but doesnt want to upset his mum, he said to his mum he doesnt want her there either but when she comes over all sweet and said she said she wont ruin my wedding day, he fell for it an told me as if i should invite her, When i told him i dont want her day he looked shocked as if he didnt want to tell her she couldnt attend.
2006-08-29 09:33:07 · update #2
We're planning our wedding at the moment and I know how hard guest lists are when you don't have issues like this, so I really feel for you.
I had a situation with an ex's sister being horrible about me once, but when I challenged her to her face - calmly - in front of her mum about what she had been saying it was obvious who was telling the truth - she hadn't expected me to be so upfront about it I don't think. Perhaps that might help you?
At the end of the day, it is your wedding, but at the same time you don't want to offend your future husband's family. His cousin sounds really immature and pathetic (is she still quite young?), and quite probably jealous of you for having such a lovely relationship.
I totally understand why you don't want her there, but think of it this way - what would she get out of ruining your wedding in front of all her family? She would definitely be looked upon badly and would ruin her relationship with just about all her family. Will she really risk this?
Alternatively, is there any way you could compromise and just invite her for the evening reception? That way you could relax and enjoy the more important bit of the day without worrying about her being there.
Good luck, I hope you manage to find a solution and that you have a wonderful day.
2006-08-29 22:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You marry the person you love but have to tolerate the family that come with them.
If you're not concerned about future relationships with some parts of the family then don't invite her and explain exactly why to anybody that asks.
Your future partner should be on your side in this and in some ways it's a test of where his strongest loyalties lie.
You need to be very clear in your own mind though that you're not over-reacting to a perceived slight.
Talk to the cousin and tell her why you're thinking about not inviting her and see what her response is. Tell her that if she is invited and causes you any grief then she'll be out of your lives for good.
Good luck with what potentially is a lose-lose situation
2006-08-30 21:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by CeeVee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding! But sometimes people get off on the wrong foot. Some people were invited to my wedding to make things easier for my husband and I was terrified they would cause trouble, but it went off well and we all get along now. No-one would want to ruin your wedding, maybe you should bite the bullet and talk to her directly as things can get lost in translation between people or changed slightly.
2006-08-29 16:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by tanya h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally i'd invite her even though i wouldn't really want her there. at least that way no one can hold it against you for excluding members of your family to be. i doubt she would do anything to ruin your day in front of so many people as she would rapidly lose many friends and family herself for behaving so appallingly. if your fiance decides however that she isn't to come, then you can go along with that as you havent made the decision, he has. good luck, and i hope you have a fantastic day and future!
2006-08-30 04:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard cos ur right in the middle of this, and this is ment to be ur day, his cousin needs to grow up what a idiot, the wedding is next year give her an invite to it to keep the peace with the family, cos she will trip herself up and they will all no what shes like, time will tell wait and see x
2006-08-29 19:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt invite her! but saying that is she close to ure hubby2b? i have loads of cousins i barely know but meet on occassion, if you feel she is going to ruin the most important day in your life then dont invite her. if ure husband agrees with you then do what you feel is best. best of luck on the big day i hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-29 16:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by EMMA O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding day, you have to remember it for the right reasons. If you don't want her there, then don't invite her and if she turns up anyway, ask somebody to ask her to leave. I didn't invite anybody I didn't like to my wedding and those that weren't my friends were asked to leave. Your wedding is your day huni, enjoy it. Your fiance should back you on this.
2006-08-30 18:13:15 · answer #7 · answered by paradisefound1980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does it really matter? This girl sounds like a two faced ***** who has nothing better to do than concern herself with you. That is the penicle of patheticness. You are way better than her. Just smile at everyone and ignore/avoid her stupid ***. She isn't a good enough human being to deserve any of your thoughts or consideration.
2006-08-29 17:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by josh/julie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
discuss this with your groom (explain to him all the times she's hurt your feelings and don't want to worry about her upsetting your big day) but if possible don't invite her. she's behaving like a jealous child and should be left off the guest list unless it greatly upsets your future husband.
2006-08-29 16:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want her there, are afraid she is going to be a terror, and, above all, you don't like her, then DON'T INVITE HER!!!
There is no reason to make yourself paranoid and uneasy on your wedding day.
And if family questions it, just be honest (to whom you can).
2006-08-29 16:27:29 · answer #10 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋