Has anyone on this board been abandoned by your mother/father?? How do you deal with it?

Answer 1

when I was 3 months old, I'm told....

that would not be the 1st lie that I was told by this group of people tho. some of them ended up raising me. So my family reference will use this frame of reference. They said that an aunt that divorcing my uncle was mean. an not to believe any thing she said.

40 years later when my Natural dad died, I knew him and saw him occasionally.
this aunt brought me letters in his own handwriting. that she would not bring while he was alive.
for 30+ years she was the only one in this group of people that was on my side (probably was one more but he died early)
she also brought me pictures of my Natural mother. I remember being almost killed after I discovered them when I was 8. this was the next time that I saw them...

it was believed that at this time (8 yrs old) that I represented a wealth due me thru my birthright. that change in 1972. I was not going to get it. been on my own since then.

what it took me 30 years to figure out was true. it was worse than I figured tho.

I was not abandon!!!! just a divorce full of lies for me to believe in an attempt to "buy" me.

How do I deal with it... well you see a snippet of my story. I believe that I face truth when I feel i can accept it. The faster or better that I can accept truth the better off I am, agree?

Answer 2

I wasn't quite abandoned by my father, but I was disowned. After my parents got divorced (I was 19 at the time), I chose to come live in Waco to be near my mother. Since I have moved to Waco 5 years ago, my dad won't talk to me at all. All I get from him is e-mails saying I am a slut and a whore. Which I am neither of those. I am engaged to a wonderful man now, but my father knows nothing about it. It is very hard to deal with. But the one thing I have learned is that you can't let them keep you from living your life. You have to go on. You need to be you, with or without your mom or dad. It was the hardest thing for me to learn, but once I did, my life has changed for the better. Good luck and I hope everything works out great for you.

Answer 3

My father had abandoned me since I was born claiming to everyone that I wasn't his and that he didn't care to be part of my life when I was told that as a Baby, I clearly resembled my father. My Mother abandoned me 4 years ago due to her on-going mental illness and refuses to accept me, my husband and my son. You can say that I was basically raised by my Grandmother who I love very much and I consider her my savior. It's hard to deal with such matters and sometimes during my special moments in life, such as the birth of my son, I feel somewhat lonely and without family especially since my Grandma passed away suddenly last year. But, I concentrate on those who surround me with support and love. I always say what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Answer 4

Yes my mother...............it was hard at first then I realized that I couldn't let myself be depressed all the time, I had a whole family that loved me and that was there for me and that none of them were as selfish as my mother! I think my mother had things that she needed to deal with and and she thought at that time that it was more important than my brother and myself but I will tell you my Dad my my brother and myself is number one priority. Although I lost my mother a little over a year ago I did forgive her for what she had done and she knew that and I can only hope that she is resting in peace. So if this is happening to you just look to your family for support and they will be there for you! Good Luck! My Prayers are with you!

Answer 5

My dad doesn't and really never wanted to have anything to do with me. I finally sat down and wrote him a letter and poured my heart out to him. I told him I felt sorry for him because he was missing out on his legacy (two grandsons). I told him I loved him and always would because he is my father and I am a part of him. I really have not heard much from him, an occasional one line email about once a year. But that letter somehow released me as far as my feelings. I still love him, but do not feel the need to fill his empty void in my life.

Answer 6

Yes, abandoned by my dad. I just figured he was the one with the problem and not me. How I dealt with it was to consciously change all of my similar habits and idiosyncrasies to be my own and not an imitation of his. It seemed to work. I have had contact with him since and see him about once a year now. He is an old man with Parkinson's disease and has forgotten most of his past.

Answer 7

Well I guess I have had my father abandon me by hanging himself when I was ten. I didn't know how to deal with it. I was depressed and tried to kill myself also. My mom took it all out on me. I still need Gods help to get me through.

Answer 8

yes my father left when i was almost 3. he finally came back after 16 years and i still haven't recovered from him coming back and that was more than a year ago.
i just forgot about him because he was no longer a part of my life he never even wrote a letter or anything.
all you have to do is just realize that they left you and they probably won't be coming back
however they do on a rare occasion.

Answer 9

Yes, pretty much by both. To this day I don't know or speak to my father. I know who he is, but there is no relationship there. My mother and I are civil to each other, but that is about it. My great grandmother raised me. She is the one I had love and respect for, not the two who gave me life.

Answer 10

Yes I have and to be honest it really sux. It makes you think that you are not worth anything. It took my hubby to teach me that one. My Dad is a very selfish man. All he thinks about is hisself.
I go through God to help me deal with this. But it still hurts like hell.