I'm at college and my grandfather is at home dying....?

Question

I found out about it the day before yesterday, after I got back to school, and apparently he has a fatal infection and could die any minute. I wish I could communicate how much this man has meant to me and what an amazing person he is. I'm just distraught and I can't focus on anything else. I barely made it through yesterday's classes and I've been crying ever since. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with tomorrow's classes without falling apart. My friend's are trying to help, but I think I need to be alone.

I just don't know what to do...

I know that God knows what he's doing and I've been calling on him and putting my faith in him, but oh this is so difficult.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting by putting this out there....I know there are no answers and that I'll probably just get a bunch of responses telling me that God isn't real and that I'm on my own....

but I know that He IS real.


I guess I just need someone to empathize..

I know people are saying to go home and be with him, but I really can't do that for many reasons that I won't list here.

Please don't give me a guilt trip.

Answer 1

i was in the same situation in 2001. the exact same. my grandfather had been ill and struggling with his illness for years. although i knew that he would be soon leaving us, i had to continue on with my life as well, be a student, get a education, like he would have wanted for all his grandkids. april 21,2001 he died. while it broke my heart, i, like you, know that God is real, because i can feel him and see him in everything around me.

So knowing that you are a believer in God, i tell you to keep believing, and know that one day,again, you will see your grandfather, think about the past, celebrate his lif and not his death, be encouraged to continue on in your studies, become magnacum laude, and continue to stay strong, i know you must mourn, but mourn and continue on.

Answer 2

You sound especially close to your grandfather, which I think is wonderful. I also found out my grandfather is sick, although not to the point that he can die any minute, and I live in Europe, and him in America. So I know how your feeling.

I also believe that God is real, and that your grandfather will be going to Heaven when he dies....although this is comforting for your grandfather, it leaves you alone here!!!! (or at least without him!) So this gives you hardly any comfort.

I think you should possibly write him a letter, in an email perhaps if a letter cant get there fast enough and have a family member give it to him. Tell him how much he means to you and how much you love him and will miss him. There is no doubt he knows this, but this way each and everyday before he passes he will read your note and the two of you will be connected through that letter. If he cannot read anymore, someone can read it to him each day before he passes.

I have faith that your grandfather will end up in a better place...the problem is that the rest of us here dont really know FOR SURE and we, of course, miss them each and every day they are gone. Just write him that letter and call him each day.

Everything will be okay.

God Bless!!

Answer 3

First of all...I AM SO SORRY!

I am originally from CA but I moved to WA about two years ago for a job. During my first week at my (then) new job I received a call from my dad saying my grandma had suffered a stroke and was rushed to the hospital.
I felt horrible because I coulnd't just take the time off work since it was my very first week. I called my gradnma at the hospital. She wasn't able to talk, but while I asked my dad to hold the phone to her year, I told her how much I loved her, how much I missed her and that I was praying for her. She passed away a few days later, but I felt that at least I had a chance to say what I had to say.

Make sure you get whatever you need to say off your chest before he passes away. If he can't pick up the phone, send him a little card and ask one of your relative to read it to him if he can't do it himself.

Meanwhile...I wish I could tell you to stay at home and hide beneath the sheets...but unfortunately, I can't. Sometimes keeping busy is actually a good thing, because it takes your mind off what's going on!

Go to class...go through your daily routing. When you get home cry your heart out!

If you feel you need to be alone, than do it!

You might get some stupid responses about your question, but just ignore them. On the other hand there are some really caring people out there...

This is a difficult situation and unfortunately nothing you do or don't do will change the situation. From now on, just take a day at the time. There is no right way to feel about this. All you can do is pray, tell your grandpa you love him...and pace yourself at school and with your friends so you don't feel even more overwhelmed than you already are.

On a side note, I would go ahead and talk to your teachers and just let them know what's going on so that in case you do need some time off or a little extra help with an assignment, they will not penalyze you for it!

Take care of yourself!

Answer 4

Your grandfather has lived a long, rich life. I am sure he is very proud of you and what you are going to do with your life, so it is important that you remain in college and get on with your future. It is always sad when a person's life comes to closure but, always remember, he will never be gone from your heart and your memories. Call him as much as you can and tell him how wonderful he is. Send silly cards to give him an uplifting chuckle. He has made peace with his God; you should make peace with yourself. If this is the first time you will have lost a loved one, remember too that your tears will not end the "cycle of life" .. smile when you think of him.

Answer 5

Youer not on your own, dont ever say that no matter what anyone else says. Your faith is yours alone, however you may express it.
Maybe some time alone is good for you right now. These types of situations are realing draining and difficult to get through and my heart goes out to you and your family. However, sometimes you just need some friends to get through this, but especially rely on your family, they will always be there for you and sometimes know you the best out of anyone. know that even though your grandfather may be gone, hes happier now, not in pain, and is safe.

Answer 6

as long as you feel that he is real, don't listen to anyone else on that matter. I am sorry for your Grandfather. Is there any way that you can leave again to go back to say your good byes, and for the funeral? That will help you a lot just to get to say good bye. You might try writing him a letter, and if you do get to go back, let him read it, if he can, or if not either read it to him, or put it in his casket with him. Tell him in there how much he means to you, and how much you love him. That could help you deal with this a little better.. Good Luck, and God Bless

Answer 7

Do not stop believing that God is there. He has his reasons. Obviously to reasons unknown to me you would like to be wiith him but can;t. Keep on believing but remember that unfortunately we all have to go some or other time. When it happens remember your granddad for what he meant to /and did for you. As an afterthought remember you have a grandfather. There are thousands (me included) that did not have the oppurtunity to know our grandparents. I know it is easier said than done but am sure your grandfather would not like your studies to be affected by his illness.

Have faith and God bless

Ps. Do not let anyone tell you that there is no God. We ( me and my family) will think of you in these trying times.

If you feel like talking contact us at [e-mail]

Answer 8

Why don't you go home and spend some time with him while you still can. Also, take time off and be alone if that is what you need. Tell your teachers you are going through a difficult time and they can help you out so that you don't suffer academically. I personally think it is very important that you have closure and let your grandfather know how much you love and care about him.

Answer 9

I understand how you feel. My grandfather meant the world to me and he loved me a lot. I wasn't there when he passed away, but saw him 4 hours before he died. He was relieved to have seen me. You can regret not seeing him for the rest of your life, if you're already feeling like this even when he is not dead. Try to find a way to get home in time. If you cannot, you can be sure that your prayers and thoughts are with him. At least in my opinion, positive energies are travelling to the ones we love. I don't believe in God, but I won't demean your beliefs. Believing in God can help you ease your pain at times like these. Please talk to your school about a permit.

Answer 10

Keep praying to GOD. He is real. Just keep reminding yourself that soon your Grandfather will be in a better place and out of pain. If you want to give a tribute to him write it and place it in the paper. Or I know with children sometimes you write a message and put it in a balloon and let it go. It could help. My prayers are with you during this time. Just keep your faith in GOD. He is greater than anything man can do.

Answer 11

Dont shut yourself away that the worst thing you could do. Be with your friends, Call the hospital and have someone put the phone to his ear and talk to him tell him how you feel, and that you love him....Always remember that there is a god, and that he puts us here for a certain time and then takes us, I know its not fair, i lost my dad at 13 my grandpa at 16, and i'm 36, but i know the feelings, just dont lock yourself away, I'm sure your grandpa wouldnt want that for you... And always remember him as he was and not sick, go and be with your friends they are the best support for you right now, and God does love you!!!!!! TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!