Is it crazy that i'm ready to move to another state to be with my man?

Question

But here is the deal...I live in and grew up in the east coast where I am a visual/media artist. He lives on a military base in the South. Both of us are kind of dependent on our locations for our careers...him more so then I. We have discussed my moving closer to him, temporarily, to strength our relationship and see how ready we are for marriage (our entire romance has been long distance and only about 6 months.)

Would staying away from the creative hub I currently live in and stepping away from a career that has yet to blossom (or even start) for a year to be closer to my man be a big mistake? Or is it better to just suck it up and deal? Even if that means adding more of a strain to the relationship?

Answer 1

I'm a romantic, I say go for it...if you truly feel you love him.

Answer 2

Know what? I totally relate!! Crazy!
Do you find it odd that you are so attracted to eachother, even though you are so different? I mean, most (I know,not all) military positions don't incorporate alot of creativity.... and there are major cultural diffrences between the deep south and the artsy east coast!!
I am seeing a guy right now that is applying to be an officer in the military. I am finishing up school as an art therapist- get this, on the east coast!
It's tough to say whether or not moving would be a good or bad decision, but it WOULD be the WORST to give up who you are, and what your dreams are for a potential relationship. Do some research. Find out if you could continue to do your work where you are thinking of moving. Do you think you are strong enough in your own identity to surround yourself with creative inspiration in a new location? Think about it really honestly, because many artists are very inspired by the area they live in, or the unique people they have come to know around where they live.
If you think that you can give it a go for awhile, and you two have a really good connection, then why not move temporarily. Plan a 3 or 6 month move to his location. You will know by the end of your stay whether you want to make it permanent. If you don;t know by then, then most likely your relationship lacks the passion you would need to get around your differences.
I think it could work, and i don't think that moving for awhile is crazy. Just think it through. Life is a process, and the true joy is in really experiencing that process..... even if you go there, and the whole thing gets ugly and painful, you will have lived a chapter of your life that you will learn from forever, and you will find a way to draw inspiration form that.
If it does work out, then you will be so glad you took the risk....
good luck.

Answer 3

Visual media artist... Sounds like something you can do on a computer more or less anywhere, although perhaps you might have to travel to visit customers. You might want to get a bit of a reputation before you move into that mode though. Not to mention that it's only been six months - with that kind of distance, I could see going a year or more in long-distance mode before taking any concrete action to change anyone's location.

If this is the right guy, you'll be able to keep it together regardless of the distance. But he may not be the right guy for you, in which case you have to have a plan B for what you're going to do if you don't marry him.

To give an example, I moved from the States to Poland 15 years ago to be with a certain man whom I had met 2 years before and with whom I had corresponded since then.

We broke up soon after my arrival, but fortunately I already had plans for the immediate future - language study to finish. By the time I finished that, I had enough of a further plan to just stay here even without the man. I undertook further language study because I figured I'd end up using language in some way to make a living (and indeed, I'm a translator); and I undertook further schooling in my 'original trade' (music - I don't earn a living with that now, but I am active in early music performance).

Bottom line: If you are thinking of marrying this guy, obviously you have to eventually 'go live', and given his line of work, it may make the most sense for you to do the moving. But before you do it, have a plan so that you win regardless of what happens with the relationship.

Answer 4

Make sure that while you are making decisions about the relationship that you are also making decisions with "you" in mind. It is important to make sacrifices in in a relationship but important not to sacrifice yourself in the process. Before you even think about moving to another state you should research the area, look for jobs and secure housing options. Be honest and ask yourself what you would think of living in the area if your significant other were not involved. Would you be inclined to live here anyway? What is the culture, weather and social scene like? Is it a good fit for you personally?

Moving, starting a new job and moving in with your boyfriend will create a lot to deal with at once. Just take it a step at a time. Either decision you make will require thought and planning and you must decide which one will offer you the most benefit. You cannot have a balanced relationship unless you take care of yourself first.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Hi, in my opinion, you should do whatever you can to make the relationship work. Being long distance is no way to have a stable relationship. My advice would be to make sure you are moving somewhere you are happy with in case things do not work out though. You hate to go into it negatively, but you also don't want to be miserable and stuck somewhere you hate if things are not good when you are together all the time. If you really care about each other, I think you owe it to the relationship to give it a try and be closer together. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I'm sort of in the same situation except he's in England and I'm in the US. I don't have an answer for you. I don't know if I'd be making a mistake moving all that way (if I can even get in the country, that seems to be a huge stumbling block) and leaving all friends and family to be with only one person so far away.
Good luck to you!

Answer 7

wow hey I'm going through the same thing. i live on the east coast and my man lives on base in the south.i am a receptionist so my career isn't really an issue for me even though i do like my job. i say follow your heart. i have decided to move down there cause i love my man and nothing can take his place. besides what good is a career if you have no one to share it with. i say go down there you will always have your career but you don't want to lose him. i say go on down to the south.

Answer 8

i examine what you have published. love is complicated, yet you're blinded at what you have. you have potential at what issues you have a spouse, you may have faith and love a newborn, your newborn your friends are suitable. Take their advice, because of the fact as quickly as you're blinded by love, you do no longer think of like the real you the real you. for god's sake, your spouse cheated on you, and assume you to advance the youngster are you able to think of a existence in close to destiny (20 years), the place your non-organic and organic newborn defies you justbecause you're no longer the organic and organic father? think of your self transforming into up in a family and having a "faux" father. stretch your wings. Open your eyes, initiate a clean existence. there is no such ingredient as true love merely come across a woman, and positioned your love on her. finally, you are going to adore that "random" lady as plenty or greater beneficial than what you adore your contemporary spouse.

Answer 9

I would establish myself before I made any big moves to be with someone who is also trying to establish themself. This is a long distance relationship to begin with (I am against these relationships) Its risky but if your willing to take the risk go ahead but i think more with my head now so I don't see the point in uprooting myself for such a short and unestablished relationship. G'luck!

Answer 10

listen dont be angry but i didnt read all of that crap but i read the question.

if you love the man its not crazy as long as you love him. people have moved to different countries for love no matter what your leaving behind you have alot to look forward too

Answer 11

If you are ready for a commitment, go for it. There is a place for art where ever you go. If you still have doubts, stay put.