I'm 19 and am engaged to be married in 2008. I have a wonderful man who I love to bits and can't imagine my life without him. He's 29 and all his friends are currently having children. This isn't a big issue, until now. I always thought that I had wanted kids, and I know I want them with him, but I don't know if I'm ready anymore. I see children, especially my niece, and I long to have one of my own, but now it's come down to it I don't know if I should. We have our own house, a steady income and I'm doing courses in work (I tried uni and didn't like it) so I know we're settled. I can't talk with my parents as they wouldn't be happy with it at first. I just want another opinion. I don't want to feel that I've led my fiance on wanting a child and then turn around and say I don't want one anymore. Do you think I'm really ready for this commitment??
2006-08-29 08:24:03 · 9 answers · asked by CJ 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I became pregnant when I was 19 and had my little boy when I was 20, and you know what. I wouldn't have done it any other way. Grant it, I am divorced now, but I didn't have a stable life then either. My son is three years old and I get all of my courage and strength from him. I was horrified when I found out that I was pregnant, but then after I had him discovered that I now had a good excuse to play with toys and go tot the theatre to watch disney movies. But one thing is for sure, don't have a baby just because everyone you know is having one. It's a big commitment. You don't have to be absolutely positive that you want one, but just wanting one is a good sign. I wouldn't trade my son for the world, and i feel every woman should experience that feeling sometime in their life. Besides, just the fact that you are concerned about whether or not you're ready, is a good indication that you will be a thoughtful and responsible parent.
2006-08-29 09:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by mystikangel4223 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you not ready to have children then you should wait, your only 19 so your biological clock is nowhere near ticking. There’d be nothing wrong with you waiting to be in your mid 20’s and your husband being in his early 30’s to have children. It’s always nice to have a few years just being husband and wife. Your fiancés friends may be having kids now but they are probably around his age right, and some of his friends may have already been married for a few years.
If you don’t think you’ll ever want to have children then this is something you will have talk to your fiancé about. You'd also want to tell him if you dont want to have children right away after you get married too.
As someone said in 2 years when your 21, you may feel different and be ready to start a family.
2006-08-29 15:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think before you two get married both of you need to talk these type of things over. Being that you are only 19 you have plenty of time to have children after you are married. Just make sure he doesn't expect you to have children right away if that isn't what you want. If he loves you like you say he does he will wait for children until you are ready. Best thing to do is get all this straightened out before 2008. And hey, you never know how you are going to feel in two years either.
2006-08-29 15:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking, that's a major sign that your not ready. Your only 19. You have so much time ahead of you.
My suggestion is that you wait until you're married. Once you're a little older, you'll be more prepared for the emotional and physical demands of being a parent.
Your fiancee is older and like his friends is probably ready for children, but he needs to remember that you are 10 years his junior and are not at that stage of your life right now. I'm sure he'll understand. Just because your financially settled doesn't mean that you have to have kids.
Take you time.
2006-08-29 15:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1---you need to talk this out with your fiancee'. you never procede in a relationship with these kinds of secrets.
#2---only YOU will know when you are ready
#3--19 is very young to have kids nowadays. it's better to enjoy a marriage without kids for a while..travel..go on weekend get-aways.
the first years of a marriage can be tough---it's best to get all of the wrinkles ironed out before throwing kids into the mix.
think of it this way....his friends are having kids now....you can catch them in their 2nd wave of pregnancies in a few years. :-)
good luck -- and remember...anything important is worth the wait.
2006-08-29 15:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your own question, haven't you?
I think you should talk to your boyfriend about this. The age difference between you could be significant. He may not want to wait until he is nearly 40 to become a father, assuming you want to give it a few more years.
2006-08-29 15:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 19 for gods sake. Why don't you experience life before you "settle down"
2006-08-29 15:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by bonz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you really know for sure. you will know when the time comes. believe me... my clock started ticking , it got louder and louder.
2006-09-02 13:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by Mariah&Lydias_Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you have to ask "am I ready" then you're not ready.
2006-08-29 15:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋