A 12 yr. old lost temper and threw object at big screen tv and crack protective screen. How would you react?

Question

The child has some trouble controling his temper and has some learning difficulties.What , if any action,would you take to teach accountability?

Please let me clarify that this incident does involve a family member but not my immediate family.I was just curious how others would react to this situation.

Answer 1

Immediately send child to a place in the house where there is nothing to do but sit & think about what he did. Then, a talk about self-control, acountability, etc.

Next, grounded from using the TV and another of his favorite things to do. Finally, he needs to pay for the damage. Deduct from his allowance, whatever.... until it's all repaid. Doesn't matter if it takes years!

Answer 2

He has to pay for that t.v. somehow. Make the punishment fit the crime. If he loves t.v. he won't get to enjoy any for a while. If he could care less about it, take away something else, probably by filling that time with work he must do to pay for the t.v.

Take some other measures maybe like counseling or see a pastor so he doesn't turn into an adult who does stuff like that. It's traumatizing to live in such an environment where you have to wonder if you or your family members will be accidentally killed in a fit of rage some day.

Answer 3

Make him pay from his allowance to fix the screen. It seems reasonable.

Although, I think his behavior after the incident does make a difference - if he seems [genuinely] apologetic, you may want to let it drop or reduce the penalty. (I only say this because I can identify with the loss of temper at inanimate objects. I left a fist-sized dent in my parent's wall as a teen - my intent was more to show frustration, but I happened to choose a weaker interior wall. Suffice to say, I was spackling the next day until it was fixed.)

Although, if he's a little jerk about it, I'd definitely do the allowance thing, and ground him for eternity as well.

Answer 4

If this child loses his or her temper now what won't they do when they are 17? The child needs intervention ....now! Call a doctor as fast as you can. He also needs an anger control class and or medication. I don't know what all is wrong with this child. If the child is acting out in this way now when they are older you are bound to have an out of control young person who you will be visiting in prison. Get help.

Answer 5

If he has anger problems, send him to a psycologist. Also, part of the anger problems come from the children who are acting out for attention. When he does something small that can be over looked do not get angry at him, igore his actions, as for the big screen t.v., I would sit him down and tell him that what he did was unacceptable and for that he has to help cook or set up for dinner for a while, and mow the lawn, a 12 y.o. is old enough to do such a thing. My mom when I was littler, she made me write definitions from the dictionary, for example if your son was to home late make him write down the definitions of words like late, responsibility, mature, time, etc. and write them 5 times out or something. That seemed to be very affective.

Answer 6

I would involve him in the process of repairing or replacing the tv. Make sure he's there to here the 'repairman' say, "Sorry, that's too costly to fix. You'd be better off to buy a new one. A similar tv would cost $????"

And then work out a plan to pay it off. When the plan is in place, put it in writing and make sure YOU stick to it. No kind-hearted give-aways around Christmas or something.

Also have in writing a contingency plan all for yourself, should he decide not to hold up his end of the bargain. That plan is all yours, no input from him whatsoever. Make sure he knows your contingency plan right up front. He'll know exactly what will happen if he can't be responsible with the plan.

Answer 7

I think logical and natural consequences will work best in this situation. Natural consequence-the t.v. is broken and so he can't watch t.v. Logical consequence-he does chores around the home to pay for the damages.

I would also empathize with him. "I can see that you are feeling very (angry, mad, upset, frustrated...). What can we do about that?" It will help him to better express his emotions. I would also let him know how you feel, without anger.

I would also give him an outlet to calm him when he is angry. He can run it off, punch a punching bag or pillow. He will learn to use this outlet rather than lash out. Good luck!

Answer 8

What the hell. It's not just kids.
My ex threw an ashtray at the TV when OJ was exonerated.

My father-in-law threw an ashtray when the screen went blank in a boxing match. No shield back then. The tube exploded.

At 12, scrub floors with a tooth brush. Tell him that's what he'll be doing until 18, if he doesn't change.

Answer 9

oooooooooohhhhhh....i am so glad i am not you right now. i hate this part of being a parent...you have to discipline but you are extremely mad/upset.

first things first...take some time and simmer down.
separate your son from you...tell him to stay in another room until you have calmed down.

he will need to take responsibility for his actions but at what level? he can't afford to repair it. so make him "work" off the cost. so he will basically be working for you. you need house work done, he HAS to do it, yard work? HE does it. filthy toilet? dusting, moping...folding YOUR clothes...make HIM do it....let him earn minimum wage and make him work off every penny of it. naturally he'll never see a penny of it & you still have to pay for the repair but he will see/feel how hard he has to work and that there are consequences for bad decisions/actions.

if he can work raking leaves for neighbors or wash cars have him also do that. ....and i would ban him from watching any tv until he has earned whatever amount it took you to repair the tv.

also...you didn't mention if he is on any medications or in counseling, etc.... if not, then please look into that. as he get's older he will get stronger and he could hurt you or someone.

good luck :-(

Answer 10

Omg I would be Pi*sed! Grounding for weeks and not to let go of punishment. No reason for a 12 yr old who would know better than to throw stuff b\c he is mad and breaks expensive things. Ground him take away his tv, stereo, electronics, phones, computer, and no going anywhere and make him work it off by things around the house and job around community