Parents answer this question only!?

Question

I have a three year old son that will not stay in his room and go to sleep. I have tried everything! He will come out of his room 8-9 times before falling asleep. Do you think that putting a gate up to keep him in his room to go to sleep at night is child neglect?

Answer 1

No drugs or gates! It sounds like your son is having trouble going to sleep on his own, and he is trying to find ways to be around you and alleviate his anxiety. Locking him in will just make it worse.

Have you tried staying in his room with him for awhile? Lay down and read a book with him. Start a routine that he can predict: snack, bath, brush teeth, read books, back rub and sleep. Do it exactly the same every night. Look for a book by Dr. William Sears called Nightime Parenting. Good luck!

Answer 2

Been there! I did not put a gate up to his room. I did put a gate in the hallway by the stairs. I closed and put latches on the other upstairs doors (aside from his room and my room) so he couldn't get in, and I removed anything dangerous from the hall itself. I put him to bed and let him know that it was bedtime for everyone and that he was to stay in his room. Of course he didn't, but at least I stated it.

Then, I went to sleep and let the night owl walk the hall until he fell asleep. If he came into my room, I'd put him back to bed. What else was there to do? It's not neglect. You can not make him sleep, nor can you walk the hall with him all nite. Just keep him nearby and keep his environment safe. Afterwards, spoke to other parents and they had done similar things with their kids.

He grew out of it in about a year. He's still not a sound sleeper, but he stays in his room most of the night.

Answer 3

I have 4 boys ages 5-11. What I found worked for me is we had a set bed time, at that age it was 7:00. At about 6:45 if they wanted to read a story that night we'd start then, but at 7 it was time to get ready for bed. If he's still getting up after a week or so, try letting him take a book or two to look at for 30 mins. then go in and say it's time to go to sleep, take the book and shut off the light. Maybe try a reward system? If he stays in his room at bed time he can pick one special treat the next morning for breakfast or maybe a sticker. You can make a sticker chart for each day of the week and give him a sticker for each time he stays in his room. Kids really relate to simple rewards like that. It's easy and inepensive. Putting a gate accross the door is NOT a bad thing, but remember that at that age they can climb. Good Luck!

Answer 4

No it's not neglect. First of all does he nap during the day? If so eliminate the nap. Secondly there must be a routine set for bedtime that is adhered to and gone over and over every single night. For my daughter it was brush teeth, potty, story, short song and then lights out. There were times when she'd get out of bed just to see what her father and I were doing, and one of us would take her back to bed, over and over and over. Sometimes she wouldn't be asleep when we went to bed so a gate was a good way to keep her in her room where nothing could harm her. Some mornings we would find her asleep on the bedroom floor with a book or doll in her hand.

Answer 5

Start by sitting in a chair by his bed. Each night move the chair and you a little closer to the bed. Eventually you will be out of the room. After you put him in bed no more talking to him. If he asks if you are there then say yes but that's all. It worked very well my my little girl. We made a big deal out of her learning to fall asleep on her own. I took her to the store and let her pic a nite light out that she though would help her fall asleep. She tell me it keeps the bad dreams away so the good one can come. She also has no exaggeration 30 different stuffed animals and such in bed with her so she feel safe. Please be patient and it will happen Good luck

Answer 6

I wouldn't put the gate up but just keep at putting him back in his bed, hopefully he will learn soon that he can't just go out of the room but needs to sleep. Besides what if you forgot to remove the gate when you went to sleep and something happened to your 3 year old and he wanted you but could not leave his room?

Answer 7

Super Nanny has the parents sit in their room on the floor until they go to sleep. They can't talk to the children and if the child gets up they just put them right back into bed.
My daughter is 3 years old. She goes to bed at night just fine, but does not want to take a nap during the day. Good luck to you!

Answer 8

It is against the law to lock a door when a child is in the room and is unable to get out in case of a fire or other safety issues. However having a Half Door with the lower half closed and the upper half open, it is NOT against the law to lock only the lower half. My mother did this for one of the Foster Kids we had for the state.

Also a gate works just as well and it's not abuse or against the law. You are protecting your child from hurting himself when he sneaks out and you are unaware that he may be getting into something. plus in case of an emergency you can access the child fairly quickly.

Answer 9

I wouldn't consider it neglect, but sometimes you hinder the child if you are not being the parent, don't let that baby run you- you have the charge over him so if you tell him that he needs to stay in his room and not get unless necessary- (bathroom) then thats what he needs to do if he disobeys you then you may need to put something on his tail to let him know you are not playing-

i have an almost 3 yr old he'll be 3 in Nov and he used to not want to go to bed either, but when i got firm and let him understand that he's not going to get his way and that he needs to go to bed and not another word he straightened up so now when i say nite nite he goes staright in the bed and i dont hear from him until morning when i get him up for school, unless he has to go potty or a bad dream- but its gotten so good now he tells me- Mommy- I'm sleepy and wants to go because i'm not going to let him have his way!

Answer 10

What you should do is make a sticker chart and tell him if he is a big boy and he goes to sleep in his big boy bed he will get a prize. Let him put his own stars or stickers on the chart when he does. Try this at nap time first. He will just scream at the gate for a very long time and feel like he is caged up.