Is it tacky to put expensive items on a baby registry and ask the guests to buy items that are 200.00 or more?

Question

I wanted to throw a babyshower for my sister-in-law until i was told what day to do it on and asked to buy a crib for almost 400.00. now i'm really disgusted and dont want to do it anymore. her gift registry includes all baby furniture and a comforter set for the crib for 200.00. i'm so hurt at the selfishness and my friends are disgusted and told me to drop out and let her mom plan it alone. when i told my sister-in-law that she isn't suppose to be part of the planning and that i'm not buying the crib, i haven't heard from her in 2 weeks. should i take my friends advice and drop out of it all?

i'm sorry i forgot to mention this also, she told me that she was goimg expensive with this child but cheaper with the next. that's fine if she is the one paying, but she's expecting it all from her guests. the father makes a decent living. they are both making everyone around them sick. they know i have 2 children to get ready for school and wanted the baby shower by the end of august. she isn't due until the end of october, the beginning of november! she's going expensive off everyone else wallet. she is also throwing herself another babyshower for her friends to attend. we couldn't have a babyshower for her friends too. and we only met the father when she found out she was pregnant. his family isn't doing anything to help us with the shower and is demanding to know the date asap!!

Answer 1

It's okay to add expensive things, but make sure you also have enough reasonably priced items on there as well. It is very tacky to tell people how much they should spend on you.

Answer 2

I guess it depends. I'm sure there are SOME people out there who think buying a $400 crib is nothing. But I think it's a little crazy. I felt weird putting things on my registry, the most expensive was the stroller/infant carrier combo. My parents ended up getting it for me for my shower. I think furniture should be more the mother and father's responsibility, and smaller things should be asked for. Even something like a high chair or playpen seem more reasonable than a crib. And all the little things, like clothes and blankets and stuff.

Besides, just because something is put on the registry, it doesn't mean anyone has to buy it. People are free to buy whatever they want! She is probably just hoping she won't have to spring for all the expensive stuff. But that is sorta tacky, if you ask me. Also, maybe people could put money together to get one expensive thing, instead of them thinking they have to buy it on their own. That's an idea. And don't feel bad for not getting something on the list. Sometimes it's more of a Wish List, instead of the basic necessities.

Answer 3

Expensive Baby Items

Answer 4

Her action speaks for itself. When a shower is planned, the person for whom the shower is DOES NOT plan it and even less "orders" people what to buy.

Gift registry is ok, but the fact that she didn't choose an item that is under $200.00 is inconsiderate and selfish. I would like to know if she would spend that amount of money on a baby shower?
She obviously wants to show off and for people to envy or admire her babys things. That says a lot about the person. She feels insecure and I have a feeling that she is trying to compete with others

Answer 5

It's very nice that you'd like to throw your sister-in-law a baby shower, so pat yourself on the back for that. Having just had a baby and gone through the baby shower thing, I chose to register for items that the baby needed in ALL price ranges. It's a bit tacky to ONLY register for the expensive things such as furniture. A new baby needs so much more than that. If she really hasn't spoken to you since you've told her that you're not buying the crib, she is the one who is being rude. Whether you are to continue to plan her shower or not, you should not be told what you have to buy her new baby. That's up to you, as is the decision to host the shower.

Answer 6

It is not unreasonable for the guest of honor to tell you which day she is available to attend a shower. If you scheduled it for a day that she could not attend, that would be a problem, don't you think?

It is a little strange for you to be told which gift you must purchase.

Many people register for large items. It is hard to afford getting all the furniture for the baby's room! Many times several friends or family members will all "pitch in" and buy the bigger items together. Sometimes a wealthier relative will generously purchase an expensive item. The registry is there to let the friends and family know which colors and styles are preferred.

It is hard to find a decent crib bedding set for less than a hundred. A durable set can be used for more than one child. I don't think it's wrong to register for items she really wants.

It is rude to tell a person which gift to get.

You committed to hosting the shower, and I think you should honor that, and get her a baby gift that is within your budget.

Answer 7

she seems to be wanting everything given to her, a new parents still need to provide some things for the baby. I have helped with some showers where they had some expensive items on it and so some of the ladies would go in different amounts to purchase the one expensive item,and then it would account for several gifts from several people. That way one person wasn't fitting the bill for it.
I did request my shower to be on a certain day due to scheduling factors and such,
Run some other ideas across her and if she doesn't want to allow someone else to do the planning besides herself, then kindly back out and simply say, I was wanting to throw you a shower and I thought you would trust me with it, but if you cannot trust me to do it, then perhaps there is someone else you would like to have help you with it.

Answer 8

I wouldn't register for "only" expensive items, but I don't see a problem with expensive items being listed in the registry. I worked as a gift-wrapper and registry clerk one summer in high school, and the registries weren't automated at that store ... usually, people would come in and ask for items in "x" price range. I saw some people who were quite frugal with their selections, and many people seemed irritated that they had to buy a selection of items to get something in the price range they intended to pay. I also saw people put several "just because" items on their registry that were purchased by family members who wanted to get something they knew they would love and have fun with, not just the normal "day to day" items. I see nothing tacky about the items on the registry, just don't be disappointed if you don't receive them.

Answer 9

If the entire family is made up of Doctors and Lawyers, it isn't a big deal. If they are laborers, it is very tacky if these are the only choices.

Telling you to buy her a crib is way over the top.

Do make amends with her. She is family. Do let her know that you care about her but that she was out of line. You will be spending time with her for the rest of your life. Do be understanding. 1st babies arrival is a stressful, though joyous time for many.

Answer 10

I hate people like that. If they want to register for the expensive stuff then they might as well buy it themselves. I can understand them wanting the best for the baby since it is there first, because this is my first too. They have to realize that everyone has a budget to work with, bills, and kids that need there money. I would let her mother plan the shower. She has an attitude, to bad. She will get over it.