Our relationship is 10 years old. Son is grown. This man has been my friend and now my lover and we're happy as $hit! I have no intention of letting go. But I don't want to fight with my son or my son fight with my Man. But feeling it's my turn now....
2006-08-29 07:15:49 · 38 answers · asked by Jakkie F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are his Mom and he is probably being over protective like you were when he was young. I would have diner with him and ask him what gives and tell him to be honest with you. He may know something and just doesn't want to tell you and hurt your feelings. Do not include partner in this. If your son doesn't have anything good to say, well he probably wont, but if he is not liking this guy just because then this is where you have to tell him," Son listen to me this guy makes your Mom happy and I love him and I want you and him to get along, you may not like him but you can be civil to him for me." I hope I helped, Good luck.
2006-08-29 09:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I'm going to go with your son. Doesn't it feel awkward to you that your man was only 4 yrs old when you gave birth to your son? C'mon don't you see your son in your man since there is very little age difference between the two. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with you and your partner's age gap but you have son of similar age in the picture. I thinking if I was in your shoes it would be weird. I have a sister 9 yrs younger than me and I find it hard to date women younger than her. I couldn't imagine. Let me ask, was this a friend of your son's first? That may be the problem. It has went on for 10 yrs, if it just now started up then it is something else bothering your son but if it has lasted the entire time then it ain't going to stop between the 3 of you.
2006-08-29 07:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to have a long sit down talk with the both of them. Let your son know that this man is planning on staying in your life but that also includes him as well. Let your man know that he is to have no say when it comes matters with your son. He is not his father. He needs to learn to be a friend. You can not make them get along that's the hard part. If your man is worth the fight with your son then try to make the best of both worlds. Even though you feel its your turn now, your child should come first, your child is always going to be your child and you should never abandon that.
2006-08-29 07:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell him this. I know my oldest son said if I was ever not married to my husband now, he would NEVER ALLOW me to date anyone. It's insane. I said "want to make a bet?" He's a big guy though but his thinking is a bit immature -- they can't handle the fact that their mothers are still alive and well and want to be happy too. I'm assuming a lot of the problem you have is the fact that your guy is only 33 years old - not much older than he is an it probably makes him feel strange but ya know....that is just too bad. He needs to get over it. Ask him "do you really want to see me unhappy the rest of my life" and tell him that you are not ready to give up on life quite yet. It's not fair that he's putting you in that position.
2006-08-29 07:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My father in law got a call at 4:30am once to bail his 45 year old son out of jail. Later that day he said to me, "No matter how old they are they are always your children." That seems to apply here. Your little boy needs a good spanking. I bet it was nice having a mommies boy for so long, but it is time to cut the cord. Tell the little $hit to grow up, be a man and adapt. He's acting like a 10 year old. If he won't listen spank him.
2006-08-29 07:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At this point, your 29 year old son should have a life of his own, and NOT be trying to dictate yours! It's totally YOUR business who your life partner is. Your son can either accept it or not. Keep the lines of communication open tho because I'm sure once he realizes you refuse to make choices, he will come to his senses
2006-08-29 07:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i think you have done your job,your son is 29 he is a man,he has the right to his own opinion,however in this case it should be kept to himself,you have the right to a life,and if this man makes you happy why should you let him go? and as for the ultimatum it would be for my son to stop the threats and acting childish or its time for him to pack up and move it on out
2006-08-29 07:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by G. kravitz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you Son has issues, and doesn't truly care about your happiness. Loving someone means that you put their needs and happiness in front of your own. If he can't be happy for you (if you really are happy) then he needs to grow up and get over himself. If your man is really the one and makes you happy, you have to let your son know, that if he won't accept him, then your son is not accepting you.
2006-08-29 07:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by CrashCondon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should tell your son that you are capable of making your own choices and that he needs to let you make them. If you sit him down and talk to him in a mature way I think he would let you be happy. Let him know how much it is bugging you that he doesnt get along with your boyfriend. If he knows how much it means to you and he still cant get along with him then that is his problem and he may not care for the way you feel.
2006-08-29 07:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by laurie k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down with your son and explain to him that you have found a loving relationship that you are happy in and he should be happy for you. Ask him why he is so up in arms about it. If it is jealousy try and find some time each week that is just his time.
2006-08-29 07:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋