How do you handle a 5 year old who tells Mommy "I hate you". Saying that hurts or that's not nice doesn't work

Answer 1

Just reply with something along the lines of "Well Mommy still loves you." Then change the subject or give them a bit of time to themselves. At 5, your child doesn't realize fully the meaning of what they are saying to you, so it's best to just minimize the reaction they get. If your child sees that it bothers you, they will use it more when they are mad. It's a normal phase, and they will grow out of it. Don't worry, your baby doesn't really hate you. Good luck! :-)

Answer 2

You are definitely being tested,that's for sure.You might try a different approach like "the next time you want play time with (whoever it might be)the answer will be definitely no for your behavior right now.If that doesn't work try taking away the favorite toy as long as needed till your child knows you mean business.Then there is time out in the corner.When you make a ruling,don't back it down by no means.If it gets to severe you might have to swat the bottom correctly to show that you really did not want to do that,but you had no choice,that the child gave you no option otherwise.I know i am raising my 2 grandson's age 4 and 6,the best thing that seems to work for me is the no play time with others and making them sit or lay on their beds and then i tell them to think about what they have done or said,that when they feel they can respect me,then come to me and we will talk about the issue they just created.So i Hope i was able to shed some light and best of wishes and Good Luck to you both!

Answer 3

First of all, I would not stress too much about this. Children this age only have a limited vocabulary to express their emotions. I would try to say something like "I sure hope you don't mean that ,because that hurts me a lot. I know you may be angry with me right now and that's okay but saying I hate you is not how to express being angry,lets talk about what I did to make you upset and maybe we can work things out." I realize this is sometimes easier said than done so you will probably need to try to word this in whatever way works for you but you get the idea...hope this helps a little!!!

Answer 4

First you have to realize that more than likely the child doesn't understand what that actually means. Second, don't overreact by screaming and carrying on. put your child in time out and tell them that saying you hate someone is not nice and is very hurtful. Make your child sit for 5 minutes then ask for an apology.
You will have to do this a few times, but remain calm and keep your voice low as well. Always hug your child after the punishment and apology an tell them you love them.

Answer 5

At five they are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. They also understand about hurting ones feelings and what is ok to say and what is not. Skip the cushy lecture of how much that hurts you or telling him/her that it's not nice. Sit the little sassy pants down and have a heart to heart on his level. Tell him that if he really means that, you'll find him another mommy that he/she can love. Tell him/her that saying "I hate you" is not acceptable in your home. If he/she's mad, that's okay, he/she can say I'm mad at you, but if he/she continues to say the word hate, either you'll go or they go. It'll scare him and make him think twice. Then when he's upset next time, and says I'm mad at you, acknowledge it, and ask if they want to talk about it to see how you can make it better.

Honey, you have to catch them young in this day and age. As they get older, it only gets worse.

Answer 6

The child should not be told "that hurts" as it fuels the young mind that this is the way to get leverage.

My daughter when she was small would swear and undying hatred to which if I ever reacted would be.., "Tell me something new. I love you, ya little snot, but you are going to respect me".

And I would follow it up with some restrictions or a firm hand to her buttocks (not beating, but a quick short swat). THEN LET IT GO! Your child may still say it, but the child is looking for a reaction, testing what will rile you. Its a part of human nature when unchecked, and learned we cant just say things like that.

Time and your patience will teach your child right and wrong. Just dint give into little quips like, "I hate you". It simply provides them with a weapon of sorts. No major reaction - it will slack off or stop in time.

Answer 7

How about giving your kid a spanking like most of us who are 20 and over got when we were little? It didn't take too many of them before I was more respectful. Reasoning with a five year old is like reasoning with a can of spray paint. Give her a smack on the butt and tell her that hateful expressions won't be tolerated.

The U.S., through Child Protective Services is raising a generation of insolent, violent, vulgar, hateful youth who more and more are making the news for school violence and, around where I live, recently shot people from an overpass because of a family dispute.

Answer 8

first of all it amazes me that some people had the nerve to put the responses they did, and I hope Child Protective Services finds you. A 5yr old has no idea what the word hate means, therefore spanking will do no good except to confuse them. Neither will hot sauce, chili pepper, whatever. Hug the child, tell him/her that you still love em and you always will, and try to explain REASONABLY why that word is hurtful to others and shouldn't be used. Be prepared to repeat this alot.

Answer 9

No, it's not acceptable and don't let anyone tell you that it is! I think many children will try it. I explained to mine, in no uncertain terms, like this "Those words are a horrible thing to say to someone. We are a family and families don't say those things to each other. It's okay to be angry with each other and it's okay to tell me that you are angry with me. However, we do not say that we hate each other. I love you and know that you love me. Let's find a better way to let each other know that we are upset."

And, I wasn't laughing or smiling when I said it. Those are serious words and I treated them as such. Children understand much more that we give them credit for.

She never repeated that statement to me again. And, if she does, we'll have that talk again!

Answer 10

You explain to her that it's ok for her to have feelings, and to talk about them, or convey them to you, but that she should not use the word "HATE", it is a bad word that people don't appreciate or like, and it can not be used in your family :)

Try explaining to her that she should say "I am not liking you right now Mommy", anything nice as replacement, so she can still let you know her feelings, but she has to be nice, so you will be nice back :)