about my bf. i dont know what to do really plz help?

Question

ok so me and my bf have been together for about 9 month. we are 2 yrs apart (im 16 hes 18) and we have completely different views about sex. he wants to do it and i dont. i feel like this is damaging our relationship he doesnt tell me the "if you love me you will sleep with me" crap he will wait for me to be ready. but i know its hard for him. we dont know how long he is going to wait. i told him at least till im 18 but im thinkin till i get married which is i dont know when. i have more important things on my mind than sex. so plz tell me what we should do. hopefully this makes sense i dont really know how to express the promblem. another thing is that i took away from him the only sexual relief he had with me. i told him no more and he is hurt by it. so yea plz help

he does love me he told me he was sorry for pressuring me and that he would stop talkin about it. he told me that he wants me and only me. he is the person i plan to marry and he wants to marry me too(he brought it up first) and i dont want to do anything else. i was lettin him touch me in places he shouldnt touch(no skin to skin contact it was over clothing) and i dont want that anymore.ill onlyh makeout with him and thats it

he knows im waiting we talk about this often. and plz tel me somehting else besides "dump him"

he isnt pressurin me like that. and im not gonna sleep with him. im not gonna change my decision and im not an insecure girl

stop tellin me to leave him and that he doesnt respect me. he does respect me and he will wait he told me he would

Answer 1

as the saying goes, "to thyn ownself be true". it is tuff to grow up these days with all the pressures that peers put on teens. years ago women were getting married and having babies by the time they were 16. men are biologically designed to mature sexually before women. men are in their sexual prime at his age. women do not peak until around 25. his heart is saying it is ok to wait, but his hormones are urging him to have sex now. i was in a similar situation when i was your bf's age. the girl lived across the street from me. we saw each other for about 3 years. the longer we were together the farther we went, just not all the way. she even told me i could have sex with other girls as long as i came back to her. well, we drifted apart. she married someone else and so did i. she is divorced now. i have been married to the same woman for the past 25 years. i recently saw her back in my hometown and it was just like the Garth Brooks song, "Unanswered Prayers". what if you both wait, get married and then find out that you are not sexually compatible? please be aware that the first time is usually the worst time. it is not the earth shaking, bomb exploding, romantic experience like you see in the movies. DO NOT DO IT TO PLEZ ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. My final words of wisdom. Talk to your Mom, your pastor, a school counselor and a few of your girl friends that you suspect have done it with their boyfriends. In any case there is no pat answer. you have to rely on your own instincts.

Answer 2

You already know the answer to your question. You know that what you want is the right thing to do. If he's not pressuring you then it wouldn't be a huge issue and you wouldn't feel like you need to post it here.

Tell him if he loves you the way he says he does then he will not ask any more. The subject should not even come up. Tell him it will be marriage so that he doesn't expect something when you turn 18 (assuming you're still together then). Tell him to masturbate 50 times a day if he's that horny. Just have respect for your wishes and stop trying and stop asking. You also have to make sure you're not sending any sort of mixed signals or teasing him at all. Make sure your message is consistent - otherwise, it's not fair.

FYI, the chances that you will marry the man you fall in love with at 16 are very slim. It happens, but it's very rare.

Good luck! I hope you're able to hold out!

Answer 3

well this is so simple, dont u ever do something that u dont want 2. if this guy is pressuring u & u r not ready then he has absolutely no respect 4 u. & if u give in 2 him then u will have no respect 4 urself. besides what is 2 stop him from moving on 2 someone else after u give in? then u will really b upset with urself & will have ruined it 4 the one u really fall in love with. this is not love it is lust. there r other ways he can relieve himself, so believe me he is not all pent up like he tells u. u need 2 do what it is u want 2 do with ur life. u have no reason 2 even think about sex at ur age. i seriously doubt this is goin 2 b ur life long partner. sounds like u have some goals 4 urself & how awesome is that, in this day & age.. very impressive i would say. u keep on doing what u r doing & let him move on. there is someone out there that will respect ur feelings & have the same views as u do, then when u do get married, what a treat it will be & u will b so glad u waited... good luck in all ur ventures..with a good head on ur shoulders, u will go far. make the most of ur youth.

Answer 4

The problem isn't so much the 2 year difference. Its the fact that it signals that both of you are at a different stage of your lives. Both of you will want different things out of a relationship. It extends more than that. You also have to think of the consequences of dating him. You may have to deal with your parents, who have the right to protect you, as well as dealing with the possibility of him getting in trouble since he is 18. He is considered an adult, and your life experiences are very different than that of someone who is 18. Follow your gut instincts. I really think that you should wait but that's up to you. I have been with my boyfriend who just turned 19 and I am 18 for almost 4 years... He has tried to get me have sex but still I have waited because I wanna wait until I am married or exactly know what I want. I do love him and he respects my decision by not pressuring me or telling me to have sex with him. He said that it will be more meaningful when we both want to do it. I hope this helps and Best of Luck

Answer 5

You see this is where the whole 16 vs. 18 year old thing comes in...He's ready....you are not. Date someone your own age....I gurantee at 18 years old if he's not having sex with you he's having it with someone else...or soon will be. No 18 year old is going to wait 2 more years for you.
You should understand that sex is much more important for males than females...we are wired differently....guys think about sex hourly while girls could care less for the most part.
Do not be pressured into having sex but be fair to him also....the best thing for you guys is time apart and it will be happening anyway if college is involved.

Answer 6

Ok if he loves you & understands you & will wait with you til your married than what is the question exactly? I mean you already have your mind set on waiting til you get married right? If your confused about doing the deed, don't stress so much about it, it will happen when it happens. You can't plan it (only if you wait til your wedding night). But if you have other more important things going on in your life than why are you trippin so hard on this sex thing, especially when your saying your boyfriend understands you want to wait. Don't really know how to answer this, just that your the one who is going to make the choice eventually.

Answer 7

You may very well end up with this guy. But at this point in your life, there is no reason to have a boyfriend. Hear me out...
At sixteen, you should be dating around and keeping it light. An eighteen year old boy should be focusing on his education and dating girls his own age. Let him go for now...if he's the right one for you, you want to be sure. The best way to know is to let him date other girls and you date boys your age for the next couple years. Stick to guys with the same morals and convictions you have and you won't have to worry about sex. There are so many other things you need to be finding out about yourself that worrying about this is distracting you. If you're meant to be with this guy, he will come back to you and have a lot of respect for your decision to stay strong.

Answer 8

He is 18. About all he can think about is sex.
You need to realize this and know that everything he says is in order to get what he can't stop thinking about.
Being 16 you are naive enough to beleive what he says.
HE WANTS SEX!
You don't so it is up to you. Respect yourself and draw the line, or break down. Give him sex in a less than perfect scenario and hope he is somehow not like all the other 18 year olds in the world.
OR...
Break it off and concern yourself with things more appropriate for a 16 year old girl.

Answer 9

Girl, you have a great guy from the sounds of it, most jerks who have gf's have them just for the sex. Since your guy is willing to waite for you, and you only, you really need to hold on to him, there aren't that many guys who would do that. I know that it's hard to have what you think is a meaningful relationship with him because of his sex drive, but the truth is, because you have told him no, in no uncertain terms, and he's respecting that, you have one of the more deep relationships there are. I think you think it's hurting your relationship with him because of all the peer pressure, you look at all your friends, and their gf's/bf's and their having sex, and loving every minute of it. And it seems that they have a better, more meaningful relationship. But the truth is, all they have is a physical one, you and your bf, because you're not having sex, have a more intellectual relationship, witch is necessary for a good maried life together.
Hope that helped.

Answer 10

honey,ur problem is not as bad as it looks.its very nice to see ur confidence n d fact that u've already got a guy who respects u andloves u.its niice to know u two wanna get married.
at dis stage,u need to divert urs n his attention frm this particular issue.talk abt this issue only once a week or so.tell him dt u dnt want him to fight wid dis issue.i'm sure he understands that.engage his mind into more interesting things.if he plays any sport activity,encourage him.while engaging in2 sports,guys tend to forget abt other probs.talk abt his studies,ur career or future plans.
tell him it will be even worth to wait for a while n then enjoy sex.u hvae whole life to enjoy it.sex comes wid risk of pregnancy,AIDS,n other diseases.if some1 catches u while doing it,u n him will be defamed.then,even if u hve good plans for future,u won't get respect frm family.
tell him,sex is better enjoyed whe one marries.because there is stability,security and trust.
at ur age i.e.16 n 18,tender kissing-once in a while is okay.u shudnt take away everythig frmhm suddenly.u may loose him.however,keep d frquency of kissing n stuff very rare.once a month or so.u gotta maintain him.
all d best!