What is the funniest jokes you know? 10 points goes to the best? share ur wisdom?

Question

i want u to tell me the best joke's uv evr heard..
and the worst..lol

10 points goes out to the best joke... gd luke

Answer 1

Once upon a time a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding and their life together was ofcourse....perfect.

One stormy night, Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car down a windey road, when they noticed someone on the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Clause with a bag full of toys. Not wanting to dissappoint any children on the Eve of Christmas the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunatly the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa ended up in an accident.

Only one of the 3 survived..........who was the survivor??????
(Scroll down to see the answer, trust me its worth it!)
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Answer: The perfect woman survived cause everyone knows that there is no such thing as Santa Clause and no such thing as a perfect man!

(Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke)


Men scroll down............................................................................
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So if there is no Santa Clause and no perfect man, then that means the woman was driving which explains why there was a car accident!


By the way if you are a woman and still reading this, that illustrates one more point, THAT WOMEN NEVER LISTEN!!!

Answer 2

My favorite clean joke:
Duck waddles into a convenience store and asks the clerk if they have any grapes? The clerk says No, we sell gasoline, soda, candy, even pizza, but no grapes. The next day the duck goes back in and asks the clerk Do you have any grapes? She replies No! We don't sell fresh fruit. He leaves. The next day the duck comes in, goes to the counter and says Do you have any grapes? The clerk, very annoyed, says Look you were in yesterday and the day before. We didn't have any grapes then and we don't have any now. If you come in again I am going to nail your little yellow duck bill to this counter! The duck comes in the next day and says Do you have any nails? The clerk replies No! The duck says Good, then do you have any grapes?

Answer 3

Best joke...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Impatient Cow.
Impatient
(Cow cuts in) MOOOOOOOOOOO
Cow who?


Worst Joke

What do you call a woman who can suck a tennis ball through a 25 ft hose?

Darlin'.

Answer 4

How does a procrasinater tell a joke?

Answer 5

best
-how do you stuff an elephant into a subway?
-how?
-you take the "s" out of "sub" and the "f" out of "way"
-but theres no f in way
-thats right, theres no f'in way, you cant stuff an elephant into the subway

worst (from a icepop)
-what kind of a dog jumps higher than a building?
-any dog, a building cant jump.

Answer 6

A seal walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" Seal answers, "Anything but a Canadian Club".

Two little cousins are in the bath together. Boy and girl. Girl asks, "What's that?"
He answers, "I don't know"
Girl: "Can I touch it?"
Boy: "NO!"
Girl: "Why not??"
Boy: "Cause you already broke yours!"

Answer 7

what did the banana say to the vibrator?

"why are you shakin', she's gonna eat me!"

Answer 8

Best: What kind of cheese doesn't belong to you?
Nacho cheese.
Worst: What kind of cheese doesn't belong to you?
Nacho cheese.

Answer 9

why did the cookie go to the doctor's?

Answer 10

What do you call a black man who flies a plane.....?


A pilot, you racist!!