I feel useless. I really have no clue how to make things better. He is so angry. I have to be so careful what I say. I think he is angry at me for still having my mum. Has anyone gone through this or is anyone a great friend-because I don't think I am any good at this. I am now pregnant and need his support too and thats difficult when he is grieving.....
2006-08-29 06:19:26 · 25 answers · asked by soggyflipflopbrain 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He isn't angry at you. He is grieving. Everyone deals with the loss of a close one differently. All you can do is be there for him and offer support. In time he will come round and be there for you too.
2006-08-29 06:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all - congratulations on your baby! Even though he can't show it right now, the birth of his new son or daughter will be something your boyfriend will be looking forward to.
As everyone says - all you can do is just be there, a shoulder to cry on, for your boyfriend now.
But be aware - he will really miss his Mom when the baby is born. My own mother died a few month's before the birth of my granddaughter (her great granddaughter). I felt such an ache that she wasn't there to share in my joy. But I told her anyway; I found a quite place and just told her - and asked her to watch over the new one!
You could encourage your boyfriend to do the same when the time comes. And when my daughter became pregnant again I sent her, and my Dad who had died a couple of years earlier, an email! mumanddad@heaven.com. Of course it bounced - but the news was out there in the ether! It made me feel better...
Good luck and I hope that you and your boyfriend and your little one have a wonderful life together.
2006-08-30 01:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by granny2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the grieving period, you have to be supportive towards him and be his rock and world now he needs you so much now. Except his anger and hitting back and be patient. Gradually you will see a change in him when the grieving period becomes a little easier to live with for him. Be a shoulder for him and encourage him in his own time to open up to you, when he does the tears will come and the beginning of a comming to terms with the situation will come. Don't get neglected in this as you are pregnant and you need to look after your self to, eat well and gain support from some one who will listen to you to, as you are going through a grieving process to, gain support from your mum and family. As you need to be strong for the both of you, my thoughts go to you both take care.
2006-08-29 11:30:09 · answer #3 · answered by nicecupofteanicecupofcoffee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like my boyfriend. Just let him know that you're there for him if he need to talk. Just try to stay calm and don't get angry with him. That's the last thing he needs. Just be nice and when he starts to get angry say something like "I'm here for you, but this isn't my fault, please dont take it out on me." Then go in the next room or out to the store for a little bit. Hopefully he'll realize how mean he was to you and come around... that's why my boyfriend does. But if he doesn't then try talking to him again later after you've been away from him for a few hours.
2006-08-29 06:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is an awful situation, not know how to help him at his time of loss, it will be hard for you, also you being pregnant, But honey there is nothing you can do, just be there, and listen, when he won ts to talk, he will go through these different grieving times, anger, hurt,pain, all these things are normal, he is not angry with you, just probably with life....
2006-09-01 19:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him grieve for as long as he needs to. be supportive and eventually he will get through it, some times we don't know what to say, explain to him what your feeling at the right time, he'll understand its just a bit all up the air at the moment. death of a loved one is hard but we learn to cop with it has each day gos by.
2006-08-29 06:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by pixie007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him for when he's ready to talk about it. Men don't like to talk about it before they're ready so don't press him. Give him space and time and try not to take it personally because it's not meant toward you. You're just the closest person to him so he may take it out on you some. It may be good for him to spend some time with his remaining family/dad/brothers/sisters for a little while and get some closure. Until then, you may need to try to deal with the pregnancy yourself or rely on the support of friends and family as he may not be able to be there for you as much as possible right now. Just try to be understanding and give him some space to figure things out. Good luck--hang in there...it'll be okay in time.
2006-08-29 06:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs a grief counselor to help him with his loss. I lost my mother 4 years ago. It is harder if he was really close to his mom. You need to be there for him at this difficult time. He is going through the process of grieving. Good luck!
2006-08-29 06:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by red1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him grieve in his own way. If she died recently he will have a whole range of emotions to go through. My husband was at a loss when I lost my mother. He just held me and let me rant, cry etc. Just be there, don't take any thing personal. He will get better with time.
2006-08-29 06:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him his space. He will need to grieve for his mother and that is something that you need to do alone. Just be there to give him support when he needs it. Maybe try to do some of his daily chores and things for him so that he can take it easy and have time to think.
2006-08-29 06:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by ~Elses~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋