Probably the most valuable thing for parents to know about so-called “sibling rivalry” is that their children's frequently obnoxious and sometimes impossible behavior is perfectly normal.
The basic problem in dealing with children's feelings about their siblings is the immaturity of their thinking. Obviously, if you fill his little brother's bowl too full, there may not be enough for him. When children feel that they are in direct competition for basic nurturance, they fight for their right to survive–a strength that we admire under other circumstances.
Be sure to spend some time alone with each of your children each day.
Telling him about your endless supply of love may help with older children, but demonstrating your love will probably work better. Also, be sure you spend some time alone with each of your children each day. It doesn't have to be long or formal but each child should know he has a time with you each day when you are his alone.
It is also useful and fun to reminisce with your child about how life was for you and him when he was the age of the younger child. Show him pictures of himself, especially the ones with you, and tell him how much you enjoyed being with him then and now.
Many–probably most–adults still have residues of sibling rivalry. So don't hold your breath and wait for some glorious moment when sibling rivalry will come to an end and your children will walk off hand in hand. They will walk off hand in hand over and over again, but there will also always be times when those same hands will be raised in threats or applied to a vulnerable part of his sibling's body.
If you can think of it as a developmental necessity, it may help you to stay relatively tranquil as they struggle through those complicated feelings of love and hate and competition and rivalry which all children have for their brothers and sisters.
2006-08-29 06:20:12
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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It's nerve racking that's for sure. I guess it goes on in every family. Some deal with it, others punish the kids when it gets too out of hand. I got to the point where I said if you can't be nice to your sister & brothers than you can't have friends over.
Be respectful at home then you may have privileges. It doesn't get to that point very often but when it does they just don't want to stop.
Everything becomes a part of the argument with them.
They'll out grow it and become best friends someday I'm sure.
2006-08-29 08:33:05
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answer #2
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answered by paintressa 4
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Well, me and my bro are very competitive and whenever we do anything competitve we have this unspoken agreement that we do not say ANYTHING that could be in the slightest way offensive to the one whose losing. Then, the one who loses storms out of the room while the other is left to think if it was a good idea to win even though it WAS fair and square.
Of couse, hours later any memory of the competition is lost almost completely.
We've developed this attitude over years and only now have we reached this level of equilibrium where we respect the triumph and defeat of one another.
Peace rules dude.!
2006-08-29 06:18:57
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answer #3
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answered by Marvin C 2
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It depends on what you're arguing about, if you're physically or mentally hurting each other, how you're doing it, etc. My siblings and I fight a lot, but we get way over it. Fighting is a natural part of being a sibling, but if you're hurting your sibling, then that's not good and you need to calm down and talk things out.
2006-08-29 06:16:16
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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I'm not really sure if your situation will relate to mine depending on age or scenario, but I have an older brother and older sister, and when we were young sometimes it really could have been dangerous. we would fight all the time, physcially and verbally, and I really hated them. but trust me, we all grow out of it. Now we barely even fight.
2006-08-29 06:21:55
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answer #5
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answered by babycakes2444 2
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fighting is normal between siblings; it only becomes dangerous when they start hitting each other &/or verbally abusing ea. other. when it gets to this point, it's time to intervene. trust me, u can tell the dif. between reg. squabbles & serious fights.
2006-08-29 06:21:46
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answer #6
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answered by lady sixx 6
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I think it is normal that siblings argue. They will grow out of it when older.Sister and I argued all the time.Now we both have kids and are closer then ever.
2006-08-29 06:17:24
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answer #7
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answered by me2 3
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talk is ugly enough- never let sibling hurt eachother ever! that is never ok.
to disagree and argue is normal
but not for more than a destined time or that can cause hearts to harden too.
good luck with all that!
2006-08-29 06:16:42
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answer #8
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answered by wutta-croc 4
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briing in family values.all ur problems will b solved
2006-08-29 06:33:18
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answer #9
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answered by samanta 2
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leave them alone and let them work it out
2006-08-29 06:17:55
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answer #10
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answered by Sarah 1
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