did i mess up his life?

Question

I need to know if i did right by my son. Sunday I called police on him and reported that he was out of control, yelling, screaming, cursing, and threatening to hit me. It all started when i asked him to move home. He had been staying at his aunt's house for a week after he got mad and left when he broke a rule at my home. He is 16 and he walked thru the living room in nothing but his boxer shorts. I have told him not to do this because i have 2 step daughters that could be visiting and he needs to show some courtesy. also i asked him to pay 2 late movie rental fees that he had rented on my card and didnt pay. and he has been disobeying my rules and smoking pot and i'm not sure what else. i told him his only option was to move home and now. he said nope he was doing what he wanted and started to walk off. I tried to spank him (he's 16 and has only gotten 1 spanking in his life) he called me a b%^&* and said f you to me. i called cops and said he was out of control.

Answer 1

Yeah, you screwed up, but it was a long time ago, like back when he was 2.

Answer 2

Tough one - requires tough love. You have every right to ask him to respect your rules. You know alot of teens these days are out of control, disrespectful of anyone and everyone and think that they control what is going on in the home. I don't know about calling the cops - he is a runaway but you may wish that he had just stayed there. If and when he comes home, start drug testing him if you have reason to believe that he is using drugs and don't give in. be prepared for some like kind behavior from any other siblings or step siblings in your home.
Sorry I don;t have the answer but I can sympathize with you. Good luck

Answer 3

It is much too late to try to discipline your son. You may want to try to talk to him when you are not so angry and try to listen to what he has to say with an open mind. If you take the wind out of his sails he just may open up and tell you what is really going on with him and why he feels the need to rebel. Maybe having a third party there to keep you both grounded might help. Also take a good look at yourself and try to think about how you respond in tough situations. Do some of his actions mirror you? You cannot treat a 16 year old like a 5 year old and expect them to act mature. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think you did the right thing and I would do the same thing. This can save more trouble in the future.The only thing I can tell you,maybe your son need some consueling.I don't know what is behind all this,maybe past problems or maybe it's just in his nature to be like this.
Talk to him,don't let this ruin your life,there is a way out.
But again,don't feel guilty for what you did,maybe this will teach him a lesson.
I hope everything will work out the best way for you and your son.
One more thing,be strong don't let him intimidate you,never! You are the mother,you need to show your strong side.

Answer 5

Hummmm smoking pot in the house, walking around in boxers like he owns the place, won't follow your rules in your own house that you pay the bills in, WELL, you did the right thing. He's headed farther down that long dark road and needs to be stopped now. If you don't get him help for him or he doesn't help him self to straighten up, I see nothing good down the road for him. It's no to late to try and get counseling for him and maybe you too even if it's court ordered. Good luck.

Answer 6

hi it so weird that my mom went trews the same thing Sunday and my brother is 30 years old
now is the time too put Ur foot down he is still under your roof also i would consider family counselling it might help for both of u to work your anger out
but remember that no Mather what he is Ur son and i believe that you should try your 100 percent teenager are always mixed up and always need a little more help
if you can also ask the police for family counselling and anger management course
cheers

Answer 7

I think family counsiling could help. I don't know what the cops are going to do. At that age and with the way you've described his attitude my guess is they'll talk to him and it will go in one ear and out the other. Perhaps you could send him away to military school where he can learn some dicipline and build up some self respect. Either that or try to involve him in some positive activities. At this point in his life I'm sure he's listening to his friends more then he is you so it would probally help to get him out of that enviornment and try to surround him with positive influnces.

Answer 8

You tried to hit your 16 year old son? Be thankful he didn't call the cops on you!

Sounds like you might BOTH be out of control and frustrated. I have a nephew who's in a similar situation with his Mom. Perhaps joint counseling would help? Try it.

Answer 9

No, you didnt mess up his life. Hes old enough now, to know how to act. Sounds like he just doesnt have any respect for others. You did right by calling the police. He needs counseling and I wouldnt allow him to live there.

Answer 10

You called the cops on your kid? You let him get out of control you should deal with it yourself. If he shot someone maybe then call the cops, he ran his mouth a little, figure it out but don't involve the cops.

Answer 11

well as you say he threatened to hit you. but you hit him first it seems. so only one been charged was you. hes a teenager they think they own the world. so he had his boxers on i think you a bit fecken nuts yer self there is a pair of you in it .The two of you get counseling together