English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

I lost my sister,who was just 28, two years back, so its even more difficult. How do i make sure Mom doesn't open up my Sister's things and upset herself. I have to leave home after sometime and i am worried what will become of her in my absence. I want my Mom to be happy again.

2006-08-29 06:03:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

You have to let her grieve in her own way. What you think is best may not be. But be there fore her emotonally

2006-08-29 06:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by heatherhedyjon 2 · 2 0

There will come a point that your mother will need to open up your sister's things. It will be a part of the mourning process, a part of the moving on process. I am not saying that she will forget or that it will not hurt, just that it is necessary. If you want to make sure that she doesn't do it alone, then sometime, when you are both ready, set some time aside and go through the things with her. Remember all the memories that the items have in them. Keep the ones with the best memories around to remind you of your sister. The memories may hurt at first, but they will become a bitter sweetness that will touch your heart and bring a tear to your eyes. Stories that in time you can tell your children or grandchildren about how wonderful she was and all the adventures you had with her. Help your mom through the time because she needs it, and she will help you through the time as well. Since you aren't at home call her on the phone, send her e-mails, mail her cards with hand written notes ... Maybe this way she will call, e-mail, write back and you two can heal that way as well.

2006-08-29 06:09:20 · answer #2 · answered by jane9715 2 · 0 0

I am so sorry for yours and you moms loss. I know it must be very hard on the both of you, but for a parent to loose a child is a really hard thing to handle. They ask themselves why her? Why not me? Usually its us kids that loose our parents and that is hard too, but it is more natural. When you're a parent you just take for granted that you will go first. Your mother probably goes through your sisters stuff to feel closer to her, to feel her presence, to smell her smell. I'm sure things will improve as time goes by, but each person is different and she has to let go a little only when the time is right for her. Right now she probably still feels like if she let go that she would be letting your sister down in some way. The two of you need to be there for each other. Understand when she cries and just be there for her, hold her and tell her how much you love her, be as supportive as you can. Don't give up on her and don't make her feel like shes doing the wrong thing because that was her child as you are and its hard for her to give up. God Bless you both and I will surely keep the two of you in my Prayers.

2006-08-29 06:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by sammie-john 2 · 0 0

Your mom is still in the grieving process so let her grieve! It takes time to get over the loss of ones child.
Are there any other relatives that you can turn to to get your mom through this?

Meanwhile, you can't put your life on "hold", because you don't know how long it will be before she is herself again.
Go ahead when it is time for you leave home, and reassure your mom that you are only a phone call away!

2006-08-29 06:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0 0

How lucky your mother is to have you!

You know, you can't live your life protecting your mother from her grief. Yes, you do have to move on and live your life.

The best thing might be for your mother to go through your sister's things and experience the pain that all this brings. Perhaps in a way it will bring her comfort, too.

It might be helpful for your mother to get some grief counseling from a therapist -- you could even go with her. If this is not possible, I recommend that you get your mother linked to a support group like Compassionate Friends (url below).

This way she will have a network of other parents who have lost children who know what she is going through and will support her in her grief process.

Also, seeing you live a healthy and full life will also be a comfort and inspiration to her.

2006-08-29 06:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by Ponderingwisdom 4 · 0 0

This would all depend on many things, if she is at the stage of a nervous break down, then I would remove everything that reminded her of your sister, if not, then a few nice pictures with you and your sister together or the 3 of you or family, because if just your sis's picture then she will just dwell on it and take herself in a deep thought about the situation of her death, she may need some counseling, prayer always helps tooooo, good luck and best of everything with your mom.

2006-08-29 06:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by Michael 5 · 0 0

That's part of the grieving process. Children aren't suppose to die before the parent. Make sure that you have someone, like a neighbor that will regularly check on her. Grief is not something that you can put a time frame on. Your Mom has to deal with this in her own time. She will never get over it, but it will be easier for her.

2006-08-29 06:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by voandginger 4 · 0 0

Your mother is grieving and will probably grieve until the day she dies.....only time and her willingly to walk among the living will change things...you can give her love and support,,,,,but do not feel that you have to babysit her.....you have to go on with your life. Your mom and only your mom is responsible for her happiness, there is NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING you can do to fix this. If it seems as though I am being harsh, I am not trying to be, I just do not want to see you put your life on hold. That is the worst thing you can do....I would suggest that mom get grief counseling. Good Luck....Hugs

2006-08-29 06:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0 0

I am terribly sorry for your lost. I am proud of you for showing such concern for your mom. However, you have to let her go through her things if that is what it will take for her to deal with it. Maybe if she does, she will cry it out and start healing a bit. To lose a young child like that is very difficult for a parent to deal with in such a short period of time. If you don't have anyone to go check on her while you are out, then you will just have to pray that God will look out for her and try calling home from time to time because you have to go on in life and you will not be able to stay right by her side 24/7. I will pray for all of you.

2006-08-29 06:15:08 · answer #9 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 0 0

You need to get her to a grief counselor. I had many deaths in my family. My daughter died at 22 hours old and my Mom died 4 years ago and my husband died 2 years ago. The best way is to tell her she needs to go and talk to someone about your sisters death and they will explain to her she needs to pack your sisters things away. You need to find her things to keep her busy. I have come along way since the deaths that I suffered from. Good luck!!

2006-08-29 06:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by red1967 4 · 0 0

Nothing can compare to the loss of a child. Your mom just needs to grieve. Let her do it. We all grieve in our own way. Only time will heal her..

2006-08-29 06:06:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers