I've recently gotten dumped by the love of my life. He says he still loves me, and that he still cares for me and that wont change anytime soon. Im not going into any detail, but he truly is an amazing guy and his words are true. He says we just need to grow up a bit, and we both need to concentrate on school. (we're both med students). but, he says in a month or so, if we still have feelings. we could get back together and everything will be great. i am in love with him. it will take me a very long time to get over him. we both agreed on not seeing/dating anybody else because we both dont want to! is it really true, if you take some time apart, could everything work out for the better? could the second time around be even more wonderful?
2006-08-29 05:53:57 · 41 answers · asked by confusedinohio 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It could be, one will never know.
To answer your question, yes it is possible.
2006-08-29 05:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are so many different things to think about when it comes to this:
1) Do you trust him?
- I know that you have both agreed that you wouldn't see other people during that span of time, but do you trust him to follow through on that. If yes, then I think that there is a strong enough bond and relationship between you two that it may be possible.
2) Are you two going to be in constant contact with one another?
- If you two continue to behave as though you are dating (in any shape or form) but aren't officially dating ... then I would begin to question why exactly are you taking a break. I am not saying there is anything foul afoot but the question is one I would suggest dating.
3) Can you get over any betrayed/hurt feelings you have now?
- If you can't do that then there will always be a little something gnawing at the back of your mind where you blame him for this instance. It will grow and fester until it is something that will come between you. If you CAN get over it and express it to him in a way that he understand and makes you feel as though you are no longer upset then, once again, I think there is hope.
4) Did he bring up the not seeing anyone?
- If he did then I would trust whole heartedly that his intentions are true and he doesn't just want this break to go out and romp around with other girls.
5) Will this help your school work?
- If so, awesome! Keep it up, and do fantastic!
Another thought ... Perhaps he is scared? I know that sounds silly, men don't get scared, right? Relationships, especially when love is involved can become overwhelming if we begin to think of the big picture. How life will be in the future for me, for my other ... it gets pretty frightening. Perhaps he needs this time to get his mind and heart straight so that if/when you get back together he knows that it is truly what he wants and that he doesn't risk hurting you in the process.
I am sure there are lots of considerations, but in the end if you trust him and love him and those feelings are returned in whole (as long as you are not holding any grades) I honestly think that you could stand a chance at a second time. Plus that second time would be more wonderful because you would each be more certain that you want to be with one another. Just remember to take some time to learn how you are truly feeling over the next month and make sure that it is what YOU want too.
2006-08-29 06:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by jane9715 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible, by all means...but nonetheless, don't get your hopes up. The general rule of thumb that I live by is:
"If things CAN work out in your favor...they won't."
This is known as the "God Hates Us" Rule, and it's almost always true.
He very well may be telling you the truth...but if you want the REAL inside scoop from the brain of a guy, I can tell you that I have told girlfriends on more than one occasion that we need "time apart briefly"...and then I just change my phone number. You have to understand that for a guy, the ONLY thing better than being with the girl we love is to be single.
Guys don't want nobody yelling at them every morning like "HEY! Wake up! Get dressed!"...and pushing all this frilly-frou-frou stuff on us like furniture...or dishes. Oh no, we do the paper-plates here.
Maybe you're not like that. I don't know. But the biggest problem I have with MY girlfriend is that she's too needy and clingy. We like our space and privacy and a bottle of bargain-bin vodka.
Whatever happens happens. It don't matter. People stress out too much over meaningless relationship crap. Just have some fun with your renewed freedom. If you die tomorrow, none of this will have been worth your worry.
2006-08-29 06:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated this guy for 2 months, then he left for military boot camp, and I got scared of the possibility of him finding someone new, During boot camp, contact was scarce. Maybe 2 letters a month. No phone calls, so I broke up with him in a letter. A few weeks later, he calls me, but I refuse to talk to him, because I still love him, but am mad that he left, and totally confused and needed time to figure out what I was feeling.
A year later, he's in town on leave, and we go to the same event. You can bet I fell asleep in his arms that night, and we were back together. His leave ended only 2 days later, so he had to leave again....
It's been 2 years, and we just got married the beginning of August.
So yes, taking time apart, can DEFINITELY be a good thing. It helps you both take time to realize how you truly feel for each other, go through all the moods, and have a clear thought on where you want to be, and who you want with you.
But in my case, during that year, I dated other people, and had my heart broken by someone else I thought I loved. So when I saw my husband again, it was wonderful to see someone who truly loved me.
2006-08-29 06:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I've gone through that a few times with my boyfriend...he's break up with me for stupid reasons and we'd get back together...yeah it does get better...you have time to miss each other and believe me since I've been through that it does happen. It is possible. You both need time to miss each other...if you're not seeing anyone and neither is he...hang out a lot when you can...since you're med students. But yeah make it a point to be around him and flirt and do everything else that made you two get together the first time...good luck...it works!!
2006-08-29 05:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by dancer1883 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course... I am young and a sophomore in college and my boyfriend/fiance and I have been on and since the 9th grade and when we started college last year we kinda broke up/ slash didn't see each other that much, but after we got through our slump and grew up a little more we realized how much we really did love each other and ever since then it has been great and I really can't think of not being with him... I know the feeling of waiting or not being sure, but if it is meant to be you guys will be together and it WILL be great and this time apart might make you realize how much you really love this person and it will make your relationship stronger.
2006-08-29 06:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by Krystle D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally think it's possible. My fiance and I actually dated on and off for three years. We had alot of growing up and maturing to do before we could get engaged. And with the two of you being med students, alot of times it's hard to to the relationship thing and concentrate on something so life changing at the same time. Just let him breathe and figure out what he wants. It might just be too much for him now.
2006-08-29 05:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by vernise2679 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously he really does love you. It's just that you have to allow him to pull himself together so that when you both are out of med school, he'll be stable enough and he will take good care of you. As long as you two keep in contact with one another, you shouldn't have to worry about losing the sparks from the relationship. Just keep reminding each other that you're waiting for one another. You know what they say, "Good things come for those who wait!" Just be patient. He's not going anywhere. Trust me. especially if he cares about you finishing school.
2006-08-29 06:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by memphis_beauty_queen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe so....
When my girlfriend and I took time apart it was the best thing we had ever done... We finished school and then about a few months after graduation started going back out again... So taking breaks from relationships isn't all that bad... It takes time and effort but in the long run (most of the time) It usually works out... Plus it gives him time to think how he is going to propose to you too... That's what I thought about while I was separated.
2006-08-29 05:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by trueblue_0621 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is meant it will be. I was always told that if you love a person then let them go and if they come back to you then you are meant to be together. But just always keep in mind that thing might not happen the way we want them to sometimes. But I believe the two of you have a chance so just leave things as is for now and see what happens.
2006-08-29 06:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible for two people who are in love with each other to get back together. However, a few months is not enough time to "grow up a bit".
2006-08-29 06:09:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋