Please HELP Please?

Question

Ok...so today was the first day of one of my new classes and i accidently overslept..my boyfriend found out and he started saying all this f*ucked up sh*it to me like your pathetic..and you a dissapointment..and it made me feel seriouslly soooo bad and soo low..what should i do?what should i say to him?

Answer 1

What is pathetic is his attitude and the fact that you submit to his abrasive behavior.You should tell him that regardless of what happened, you will not stand for him talking to you like that. If he want to be respected then he has to give it. Love and caring is not defined by someone being abusive to you. What do you need him for? Who needs to be kicked when they are already down...especially by someone who should be helping them up. Do not now or NEVER ever let any so called bf (or any man for that matter)rule your life or have the audacity to talk to you that way.


Regain your self respect and stand up for yourself!

Answer 2

Personally? I would choose not to say anything about it to him, for a period of days. (Now before I get jumped on, this is NOT giving them the cold shoulder.)

For instance, he asks what time is it? You tell him. He says hello, you say hello. But not anything else. Don't tell him you're sorry, don't tell him he made you angry. Don't give him any feed back, good or bad. Don't share with him something funny that happened that day. He will realize that something is different. He can't say your punishing him, because you're still treating him like a human being and your not being immature by ignoring him completely. But he may miss the other fun stuff you did before he judged and put you down and dismissed you for a simple imperfection.

This might sound weird, but it's actually an animal training behaviour that marriage counselors also use. Any attention that you give a guy when he's done something like this which is so obviously wrong, will continue the behaviour. The only thing that won't, is giving NO feedback or attention, period.

Hopefully, it won't be too long before a genuine apology is generously offered! And maybe an offer to go shopping to buy a better alarm clock, etc. If this behaviour keeps cropping up, run for the hills before he takes your joy and your personality and self esteem with him.

Answer 3

Get an alarm clock. Make it a LOUD one and put it across the room or in the bathroom (if you'll hear it from there.) Get up immediately! Go to bed early enough to feel rested. Figure out what you are going to wear and prepare it the night before (iron, etc.) Make your lunch the night before too and if you are a coffee drinker, buy a pot w/a timer so it is ready when you get up.
As for your bf berating you, let him know you appreciate his concern, but tearing you down won't help you. Tell him you are going to do what I suggested *go ahead, take credit for the ideas, I don't mind!* Ask if he would be willing to give you a back up call in the mornings! Depending on his answer, consider whether or not you need a person in your life who berates you instead of helping you.

Answer 4

As a person, you deserve respect. The fact that he disrespected you in saying that you are pathetic is a reflection of the type of man that he is. I could sit here and tell you to leave him, but only you and him know what kind of relationship you have and only you can make that decision. You should definitely at least talk with him about what he said and express to him how it made you feel. He will probably brush it off as if it is not a big deal, but you deserve to be treated with respect. Do not accept anything less!

Answer 5

Well, it sounds like he might be having other issues with you and this was a "straw that broke the camels back" sort of thing.

Are you careless about other important aspects of your life?
If the answer is yes, then he may have grounds to be disappointed, but not cruel.

If, however, this was a rare and unusual mishap, then you should tell him that, "You already feel terrible enough and that some encouragement would do more good than ridicule."

Answer 6

Wow!!! I am so shocked that you have let him say this to you.
Men will go as far as you let them go.
First of all, if anyone was ever disrespecting me, I would tell them to not talk to me that way.
I feel that you need a boost in self esteem if your boyfriend is saying these things to you. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, especially by your boyfriend.
Really think about this more than what you are going to say to him.

Answer 7

i think you should leave him because if he really loved you he wouldn't have came out his mouth like that to you. Yea he should've been mad because it your education and he cares but to say what he said was wrong. If not then sit down and talk with him. Let him know how that made you feel ask him to go about it in a different way next time if there is a next time. Good luck!!

Answer 8

Never let anyone put you down. Your self esteem is your crowning glory as a woman. The next time he is a smart a** tell him that it's fine that he thinks you are pathetic because the guy you recently met doesn't and walk away without saying anything else. (wink wink)

Answer 9

Tell him to bet bent. Find a new man. Everyone oversleeps once in a while. I would not put up with someone who belittles me like that. I have more self respect then to tolerate such behavior.

Answer 10

I think it's a damned shame that young girls these days are being subjected to that type of emotional/verbal abuse. It's sad that you didn't even feel you could meet him word 4 word...you should definitely get out of this "relationship" as it could become physical abuse!