Not including "Yo Mamma" or "Dead Baby" jokes. They aren't funny by any definition of the word.
2006-08-29 05:41:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I will not report dirty or racial jokes.
2006-08-29 06:33:26 · update #1
Poppa mole and Momma mole and Baby mole are all going up the mole hole when Poppa mole stops short. What were Momma mole and Baby mole doing?
Smelling moleasses
2006-08-29 05:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by ffxi_minizilla 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
One of my favourites that isn't too long is:
A college class was told they had to write a short story in
as few words as possible. The instructions were that the
short story had to contain the following three things:
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery
Below is the only A+ paper in the class.
"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who the father is."
2006-08-29 15:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was a blonde cop that pulled over a blonde lady that had been speeding on the highway, the blonde cop walked up to the window and asked to see her license and registration. The blonde driver finds her registration but cannot find her license. So the blonde driver asks the blonde cop, "What does it look like?" The blonde cop replied, "It's kind of square and has a picture of you on it..." So the blonde driver fumbles around a little bit more in her car to find it... she finally came across a square compact, opened it and saw that it was her! She handed the compact to the blonde cop as her license, when the blonde cop opened it she said "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am... I didn't know you were a cop...!"
2006-08-29 12:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by Fatty McButterpants 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A BLONDE GOT KICKED OUT OF HER JOB AT THE M&M COMPANY BECAUSE SHE THREW AWAY ALL THE M&M'S THAT HAD W'S ON THEM.
Inventor's Delight
A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors' help group.
When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, "You don't understand! Taste it."
A volunteer tried it and said, "Mmmmmmm, tastes like peaches."
The inventor said, "Flip it over."
He flipped it over and took another chunk of the apple. "Mmmmmmmm, tastes like grapes."
The inventor offered a new apple and the volunteer said, "What does it taste like?"
"P***y," said the inventor.
The guy bit into it, and spit it out with an awful look on his face and shouted, "That tasted like a**!"
The inventor winked and said, "Flip it over."
Getting Old
There was a man who really took care of his body. One day he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach and got completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.
Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking up out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, ''There is no justice in this world.'' The other lady asked what she meant.
"Well, when I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot all about it. Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat!"
2006-08-29 12:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by Boricua 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, I only know inappropiate jokes... which as much as I love them, I don't love them enough to get reported... I guess you can email me if you wanna hear those kind of jokes :-P
2006-08-29 13:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lilel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Little Hans was in kindergarten in Germany.
Han's teacher, was this large, burly man with a strong German brogue. He wore a monocle and had a large Heidleburg scar across his face.
One day, the teacher said "Clavs, today, ve shall learn about clocks. Clocks go Tic, Toc, Tic, toc, Tic, toc...
I vant then entire class to repeat, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc....
The entire class said out loud in Unison, Tic-toc, tic-toc, tic, toc.... except for little Hans... who only said "tic....., tic....., tic....., tic.....
Angered at the defiant Hans ,the big burly German teacher goes up to Hans and says:
"Ve 'ave vays to make you toc"....
(We have ways to make you talk)
2006-08-29 12:47:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A knock knock joke
2006-08-29 12:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
two muffins are baking in an oven. one turns to the other and says "man its getting hot in here." the other looks at him a yells
"AHHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
why are gay guys never late? they always get their shi t packed the night before!
2006-08-29 12:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by jasonx14 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
person1:if you went camping and woke up with a condom hanging out of your butt would you tell anyone
person2:no
person1:wanna go camping
gross huh but funny
2006-08-29 12:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by asdfghjkl; 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋