Family History?

Question

As a teenager I was told who my real father was. My father was made aware of my existance a short time later. He and I have talked, but never regularly. Years will go by between talks. We have also never met face to face. He has a family, his wife and my mother went to school together, and they each got pregnant by my father. Again, my mother did not tell him about her being pregnant. Anyhow, he has four other children from the same woman, which would make them my half-brothers and sisters. My oldest sister is only 4 months older than I. I have always been curious about them, wondered what they were like, looked like, etc.
Recently, I found one of my brothers online and contacted him. It has been 3 weeks and he has not replied. Am I wrong for contacting him? I believed they would be just as curious about me. Should I try contacting anyone else? Grandmother, other brother and sister? Why would they not want to meet me? Unfortunately, we can't pick our parents. What do you think?

P.S. They do know about me.

Answer 1

You have every right to be curious and to want to have contact with these people. It seems like they would feel the same way. People can be odd though. My husband didn't find out until he was 21 that he had a half brother and sister. He met them once and has never spoken to them again and he is now 29. I don't know why, and I don't pry as it is his business.

Answer 2

It's only been three weeks, give him some time. It's likely just as much a shock to his system as it is your father's to have discovered you exist. Perhaps he wants to speak to his Dad before replying... maybe you only think you have the right person's email. You don't know his personality... don't take it personally regardless of his decision or how long it may take to reply.

Do not give up trying with other family members... you have more to gain than to lose.

Answer 3

I would talk to his wife...get the whole guilt trip started. If you and he have been talking and he's too cowardly to tell her, then maybe you should. I don't think you were wrong for contacting your brother, although, if he doesn't know about you then it might be a shock to him, which may explain why he hasn't replied. He might think you're just another "crazy internet person"

Answer 4

Why not contact them without telling them who you are?
Your father may have never told them about you so if you contact them and make them aware that you are their half sister, it may mess up their whole lives and make them mistrust not only you but your father.

Do they live close by where you could get to know them as a friend without telling them of the relationship? If so, then it would help to satisfy your thirst for knowledge without damaging their lives. Maybe at a later date then they could be informed of their relationship to you.

Answer 5

Please be careful in this. You have to put yourself in the social "shoes" of a person of the time when you parent were being raised. as stupid as it may sound we were taught in that era that if you ifnore it the problem will go away. Once you gave up a baby or decided not to be in their life it was considered over and you didn't have to think about it any more. yes I think youshould know about you genetic family for health reasons and curiosity but they may not welcome you with open arms. Be prepared for that. Good Luck

Answer 6

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with contacting them. Nobody said not to or walked out on you. Go ahead and see what happens. If they maintain a good relationship with you, that's great. If they don't seem interested or they're @ssholes, then forget about them.

Answer 7

Maybe your father didn't tell his family about you.... and your brother had no knowledge of your existance. Hello can of worms! I hope you can finally met your father and step siblings!

Answer 8

i would talk to your dad and try to set up a meeting with the family. has he been receptive to you?? glad to know you exist?? be patient.