If you were my parents, would you consider me a failure?

Question

I get all A's for my grades, I play an instrument and I draw pretty well. I'm not good at sports though. I am told I am irresponsible and I don't think before I act. I also cry very easily and they don't like that. Would you consider me a failure?

Answer 1

Awe...not at all, seems they recognize some weaknesses, they may think you have, but obviously lack parental skills to help you enhance those weak areas. You cry easily because you are very tender-hearted...why would a parent aware of such a beautiful quality in their child, create a hinderance of growth for them, that's a bit messed up I think. Isn't a bit of irresponsibility and impulsiveness part of being a teen these days...guess I must be in the wrong time space, hang on let me zap myself back into present tense... :-) hoping that made you smile a bit, cause you're obviously having a bad day! Bad days don't make us failures though, last time I checked. Yeah sometimes parents can be a little off track...for multiple of hundreds of reasons, and yup even use hurtful words because of ...well, giving them the benefit of doubt as the excuse of choice i'll say because they are dealing with a lot of harsh realities themselves in their very busy and responsible schedules juggling work for one, who knows how their day went there, and was it a week, or two of bad days...and trying to budget together for the better of the whole family...that could bring on a lot of stress...and taking on extra jobs if need be. Caring for others outside the home like their parents, or some other relative...could be a lot on their plate. They could just be very exhausted too, mentally and physically, and you just happen to be well...an extra list of chores perhaps that they know you could probably do for yourself. Yikes! That is pretty harsh, but not intended to hurt you, just to kinda explain some possibilities for their actions towards you. They are human, they make mistakes, and though you are hurting, try to calm down a bit, take a deep breath, and re-evalutate the whole picture. Perhaps there are mistakes on both sides, but only you know that. Try to lightened up a bit...chin up...and all that...and think a bit more positive. Is there any posibility that lets say...chores...like 'em or hate 'em...they are someone's responsibility, or as a family it is a group effort, and where do your efforts apply. Its all part of maturity, and how we step into it, makes the difference. You have to look at the whole picture sometimes, and it happens we can't see it because we are hurting, or angry, or something else. Is it possible your parents need your more serious side stepping into maturing a little, and taking on a more responsible behavior, simply because they are very tired from doing so much, and could certainly appreciate the help. Perhaps they said what they did not necessarily to hurt you, and yeah...they sure didn't go about it the right way...but it would be a mistake that is forgiveable, i think. I guess, I'm just trying to give a few ideas, possibilites, that may help make the best, out of a bad situation. But this too is an opportunity, to take time out for yourself and really think about it all, and see the whole picture. Wishing you the best, and more happy days ahead, take care.

Answer 2

No way, it doesn't matter if you're not good at sports, not all girls are. If you are irresponsible, that doesn't really matter either, you
might grow out of it, I don't really think that much before I act either, but you learn alot that way, and it will (hopefully) make you think just a little more next time. If you cry easily it only means that you are very emotional. Your parents probably don't like it because it makes them feel sad to see you crying, you could try to stay away from them while you are crying, and it might not bother them as much.
You sound great to me, you have strait A's, you play an instrument, you can draw. I do not think that you are a failure and neither you nor your parents should either!

Answer 3

Your not a failure! I went through a stage just like you are when I was a teenager.You dont say why they think that about you. But we can all change right. Start showing them you are a responsible person by the way you act and talk. Thinking a action or words before you act is a good way to give the right answer or do something the right way the first time. Im 44 and still act before thinking lol. I was always told when I cried not to wear my heart on my sleeve. I learned ways to not cry. I always tell my kids never let them see you cry then they know they have hurt you.

Answer 4

Believe in yourself. You are NOT a failure, anything but, so what if you are not good at sports, you get straight A's and that is a GREAT THING, you can play an instrument, that is a GREAT THING. So you are sensitive, there is nothing wrong in that either, as far as irresponsible is concern, that is natural when you are a teenager, I am sure that since you are aware of it, that you will change that in time. Sounds like your parents need a wake up call.

Answer 5

No, not at all. You must be young which means you are a work in progress. Well, I guess we all are really. In my opinion you only fail when you give up. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sports? Not everyone likes sports. Irresponsible? What young person is not? This is a time to learn and grow. Plus if you get all A's you're not that irresponsible. Thinking before you act? That sounds boring. No one is born knowing all the answers and sorry to tell ya no one ever knows them. As far as crying, adolescence does crazy things to a young person's body. Learn to be emotionless and bitter when you're older. Good luck!

Answer 6

No... what you've posted sounds as if I had written it a decade ago. Don't worry 'bout the crying bit. I'm almost 30, and I still cry at the drop of a hat. Also, don't worry 'bout being bad at sports. It won't be of a whole lot of help to you as an adult, unless you plan on making a career out of it. Mind yourself about the acting before thinking... as that might be a big problem for your parents. Spend more time contemplating the results of your actions, consider the feelings of others, and any damage to you or others that might happen, because of your actions. It will be a boon to both you (as predicting consequences will keep your butt out of trouble) and your parents (as they won't be so worried about you as much).

You are, by no means, a failure. Just a tad bit of maturing left to do, and that will come in time if you heed my advice.

Answer 7

You sound like a pretty good kid. A smart, talented kid--and respects what your parents think. The problem is--sometimes parents can be overbearing, wanting more of their children, especially if they feel you can do better.
Just let them know you are trying your hardest, and that being a kid nowadays isn't like when they were young. You have more distractions, more temptations, and more expectations.
You're not a failure by any means, keep your chin up. You don't mention if you have siblings going thru the same problem. I think you may be an only child, with a lot of pressure from your parents. Sometimes only children get the brunt of their parents' lack of child rearing.
Good luck.

Answer 8

Your story made me so sad. My son and I got into an argument before school today and I know I probably hurt his feelings. You are going to make me go home and give him a big hug.

Sometimes as a parent, and as the authoritarian it is really easy to forget the feelings of our kids. It is a lot easier to say mean things to your family (the ones closest to us). It is not right at all but it often happens like that.

I don't think that you are a failure at all. You sound like a really good kid. Please keep your head up high and don't give up.

PS Try to remember to be responsible, if you are not already being so.

Answer 9

u parents have live with u since u were born so they know u better than any one can tell u based on what u are saying
its not right to tell someone they are a failure
act responsible enough so u parents can give u some respect okey
keep up with ur grades and work hard to improve at what ur arents want u to do or not to do

Answer 10

Getting straight A's and being able to play an instrument is great! But what about you at home? If they are calling you irresponsible, it could mean you are not taking care of your chores or something. BUT, still it's no excuse to be verbally abusing you like that. And it is verbal abuse!

You are doing good by getting straight A's! Ask your parents what kind of grades they got in school! I think your parents are being too hard on you though... Many parents are that way.

I'm sorry they are being difficult with you. *hugs*