I think I am falling for my ex. well the story behind it all is back 7 years ago, James and I dated for about 6 months. Things were great until one day he decided to end the relationship with no reason. just within the past 2 weeks, we have been e-mailing eachother and even have met for coffee... sparks flew... but my major delemma is that I am still Married... in an abusive relationship, and I am in the works of ending it... but my heart seems to be in another place... the "ex" is extremly supportive of my relationship (he does not know about the abuse) he believes we can work it out but he has also told me that he still has feelings for me and wishes he never let me go.... any suggestions? should I give my ex a seccond chance? (we dated when we were 16, and now we are 23)
2006-08-29 05:09:45 · 15 answers · asked by Hippychick04915 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I say go for it but do yourself a favor get the divorce first....slap
2006-08-29 05:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by NEOTEH 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First things first. Get out of the abusive marriage. Next I would suggest just keeping things friendly with James. People do a lot of growing up between 16 and 23, but someone who abruptly ended a relationship without an explanation may still not be the reliable type. You need to take time to get over the situation you are in now. Running to James may feel natural because you want to be "saved" from the abuse you are suffering now. It would be unfair to him and yourself to rush into a relationship to get over what you are enduring now. TAKE IT SLOW!
2006-08-29 05:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you have a few things going on here....The most important issue is your personal safety. You must get out of this abusive marriage. Get some counseling for the abuse, I'm sure youre a strong girl, but seriously, it helps so much! (been there myself) I think that it's possible that things will work with your ex...but he hurt you before and wasnt even fair enough to you to give an explanation. Don't forget that, it needs to be addressed, it's a valid concern. Give yourself enough space, coming out of one relationship and right into another can be confusing. Take things slow with the ex and make sure he knows he can't walk all over you this time. Best wishes!
2006-08-29 05:16:41 · answer #3 · answered by Joeygirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say slow down and figure out your best route to leave the abusive relationship. Once you are out, give yourself time to heal to be alone and do all the things you never did b/c of your current realtionship. James will wait for you if he really loves you. You also need to be totally honest with him. I think that going back to him maybe ok as you are both older and wiser I think. Just take it slow when you do decide to have another realtionship. Remember you don't want to make a bad choice again.
Good Luck.
2006-08-29 05:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get out of your abusive relationship, but not because you might have feelings for your ex. Remember he hurt you, but you were only 16. Your still young, maybe you should be independent for a while and see if you still feel the same way about him. Just remember to let him know this
2006-08-30 10:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by schoolgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is always greener, and he ended it once already " for no reason". I guess what am trying to say is, just because it is convenient for him now to re-start the relationship, and it wasnt convenient for him to be in it back then, does not mean you have to be there for him. His life changes should not dictate what YOU do with your life.
If you decide to pursue this again, you must be a 100% sure you are doing it for you and that is what you absolutely want.
2006-08-29 14:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by Mx2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, didn't you say you were married! In the works of ending it but not ended. Your question shouldn't be whether or not to give your ex another chance that's irrelevant, your question should be more along the lines of how do i get out of this marriage I'm in.
2006-08-29 05:15:30 · answer #7 · answered by whitebeanner 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something smells fishy to me, why is your ex suddenly so strange? Think before you leap. Think about it before you make a move. Unless you could answer this question, I don't guaranteed of an action, Why did he suddenly broke up with you? But if you're willing to take your consequences, you decide, it could change your life forever.
2006-08-29 05:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that the relationship ended once already, so unless the reason why it ended is resolved and things can now progress there is no point in trying.
2006-08-29 05:11:48 · answer #9 · answered by Chris H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No second chances. Remember "its called a breakup because its broken". Leave him alone. You are blocking a good man from being with you by putting up with the bull**** fron your ex.
2006-08-29 05:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by bre 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is my opinion that you should get your present situation straight before you go running off into another. Why involve another in your mess. Also give yourself time to heal and gather your priorities.
2006-08-29 05:21:21 · answer #11 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋