So what are some funny lies you parents told you as a kid to behave?

Question

Like for example, my mom told me that if I kept jumping up and down on my bed that i would make a hole in the bed and fall through to another world and never come back (needless to say, I
had nightmares for years about that;) I was also told by the same so called loving mother that evertime I swore, that was one more year I'd spend in Hell. (real nice mom) and she also told me year
round that "santa was watching" when ever she's want me to stop
screwing around. anyone have any other funny ones?

some of these are soooo bad! hahahaha
it's amazing what kids will do to you that they makeyou say such awful things. My dad used to also say "we were normal before we had you! Now look at us!"

all of these are great! the circus one is horrible! funny, but horrible.

Answer 1

I told my daughter and two nieces one day that if they didn't behave I was gonna call a ring master and have them sold as circus monkeys. that they would be hauled off and taken to the nearest carnival and they would whip them into training and shape but they would have a hard life and etc etc. Well. a week later i came home from work and the kids were hysterical and crying and the whole thing ... I was like wtf is goin on. My mom was mad my sister was mad. And I looked outside and my brother in law had a van outside working on it for a friend... it just happened to have on the side of it El Hasa Circus... Dad and I was rolling laughing-- that was funniest damn thing on planet earth that has ever happened. Too Coincidental but really happened... I spent an hour or more explaining to them I was kidding. But they wouldn't go outside for the longest either til that van was gone.

Answer 2

If you don't take a bath, potatoes will grow out of your ears.
Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, would all withold gifts if I were bad.
Your face will freeze like that.
Don't swallow your chewing gum, it will get stuck in your stomache and turn into a big bubble, and you'll float away. (Though I did actually answer a question in Yahoo! Answers from a girl who said she swallowed her gum, and it got stuck at the back of her throat, and it was still there like a week later!)
I know if you are being bad, even if I can't see you. (That still sort of freaks me out)

I've told my neices and nephews that my car would not run if the seatbelts were not buckled, and then perpetuated the lie by playing with the gas pedal when I heard the unclicking sound.
Bad, yes, but the "Barney says so" trick wore out, and seatbelts are a safety issue, that in all actuality should have been enforced by their parents.
Oh, yes, when they were all still toddlers, instead of "don't touch that, you'll break it, or you'll get hurt" I substituted the word "HOT!". They weren't yet verbal enough to understand a whole explanation. "HOT!" they understood!

Answer 3

lets see , before i answer this I wil lsay I was truely a test of any parent on their parenting skills LOL with that lets begin...

DAD ... Son if you keep juping on that bed you are gonna fall through the earth and burn in hellfire ( ok this worked )

MOM .... if you keep making those faces you face will freeze like that young man ( this didnt work )

MOM ... you know we found you on our doorstoop so be thankfu lwe took you in ! ( at the age of 8 I was like what is a stoop ? )

DAD .. you know Santa wrote me about you and coal is stil lto ogood for you ( this one hurt me thanks dad you made me give up far too much fun tossing snowballs at my sister with this one ! )

DAD ... this cant be my son , his aint got my brain ( he holds a MBA and Masters Degree ARG ! I hated College )

MOM ... you know boy she is gonna make that thing fall off one of these day ( well mom guess waht I am still seeing the female and it aint fallen off yet! MUAHAHAHAH )

MOM ... geezus christ boy if you keep doing that will go blind ! ( well mom wrong answer and yes I still do that MUAHAHAHAH!!! )

but the end all be all parent curse I was told was this ....


MOM ... I hope when you have kids they are 10 times worse then what you are to me ( OK MOM this worked ! NOW TAKE IT BACK !!!!!!! )

Answer 4

My mom told me that she had invisible eys in the back of her head so she could see me even if she wasn't facing me.

She told me that if I didn't behave she would call the home where she got me from and they would come and take me back.

She told my sister that Santa would bring her coal in her stocking if she did something, and HE DID! What a mean Santa!

I tell my kids that things are the law, and if they don't do it, they will go to jail.

Answer 5

If you eat watermelon seeds they'll grow in your tummy.

Smoking is a form of self mutilation which is a corporal sin in the Catholic faith so you’ll burn in hell (love this one).

Only catholic girls are good for you (had little affect on my then 17 year old raging hormones).

You should marry a good Catholic girl (tried but had to settle for a Christian!).

Answer 6

My mom tried saying if you kiss with your eyes closed you can get pregnant, and I was a cabbage patch baby, she just exposely pick a cabbage and that's how I was born she said. I got told I would go to hell if I did not straighten up.

Answer 7

I was always running in and out when the garage door was closing and they told me if you keep doing that the garage door would put you in the ground they said that happened to kids before lol and I beleived them

Answer 8

When ever we would go to the store, and I would strat crying for any reason(wheter it was cause I wanted something or just tired of being there) she would tell that the scazy man was going to take me.

Answer 9

I lived with my grandparents and they told me that if I did not behave myself, they would sell me to the Gypsiess and I would become the slave girl. One day I packed my bags and told them I was ready to become a Gypsies slave girl because I was tired of living with them. They told me the truth, that they could not sell me to the gypsies because they do not travel anymore and told me to go to my room. I was upset for days because I had my heart set on becoming a gypsie.

Answer 10

well naturally i had the whole "face will freeze like that" when i made faces. but one time when i was really terrorizing the house, my mom came into the room with a big box and told me to get in. when i asked why, she said she was going to mail me to outer mongolia, third class. i started crying, and she asked me if i was going to behave. it worked.

(i was four)