Is there something wrong with this?

Question

Ok, I have a 2 year old son and an 8 mo. old girl. When my son throws a fit at home I can't help but get very uptight and frustrated with him. But, today when we were at the dr's for his 2 yr. checkup, I couldn't help but laugh at him when he was throwing a fit and laying on the floor. A month ago, we went to an amusement park and I put him on a kiddie ride. He sat there and cried the whole time, and I was standing there laughing at him. Not like a hystarical laugh, but I was definately chuckeling. People must think I'm a horrible parent! Does anyone else have experience with this? Am I just venting or something by laughing?, is it good that I laugh at him when he gets angry sometimes? When I'm referring to him being angry, it's because he did not want to be at the dr's office... NOT because he didn't get his way with something. (other then wanting to leave)

When I'm referring to a tantrum, I'm relating it to when he kept pulling my arm to want to go to the car. We can't leave, he hasn't had his check up yet. A tantrum for my son is laying on the floor making moaning noises (because a 2 yr. old can't efficiently communicate yet). I just sit there trying to talk to him, trying to reason, grabbing a book or a toy to play with, this usually makes it worse, so I ignore him. He doesn't feed into my laughing, because it's not audible. He's very frustrated because he can't be outside. Isn't it better I ignore him then yell or spank? As far as the park ride, he was fine when I put him on the ride, and he was fine after it was moving. He wasn't fine, however when he'd see me... the ride would go around in circles, he'd see me- he'd get upset... and when the ride wasn't facing me, he'd be laughing. <--- go figure. --Ok, for the person who said I'm obviously clueless.. you're obviously RUDE. and I hope your kids don't end up the same way

Thinking back to the situations in the past, I would have to say that it is indeed because I am embarassed and nervous. Thanks for all the good answers!

Answer 1

It can be amusing. I don't blame you for laughing at times. I am sure no one thinks you are a terrible parent. You are probably exhausted taking care of two small children. It is not an easy job, especially if you do it right (as you seem to). Laugh when you can, try not to cry when you feel like it and every night pray to God to thank him for not letting you lose it completely during the day. Good luck to you. YOU ARE NORMAL !!!

Answer 2

My son is three and I still laugh. It's funny at times and it's better than getting mad about it. I think that if you show to him that you find it funny, it diffuses the situation. My son actually begins to laugh (because it is contagious). After the tantrum is over, we talk about it. I know it takes patience, but if you can talk to him like a little man it will build respect. Which in the end is the greatest reward that you can have as a parent. He'll know that he can always talk to you (even if he isn't talking yet).

Answer 3

Actually laughing at him will make him have more tantrums. You need to be consistant. It is not a good idea to let him throw a tantrum in public and laugh and then get angry at him at home for the same thing because it is confusing for them.

Answer 4

it's easier to laugh while in the presence of people like doctors. They can finally see what you go through and offer advice? Could be nerves too. Sometimes you have to laugh or be taken away by a white van and put in a padded room with a bunch of drugs running through your system. I go through this daily, my daughter loves to throw fits for me.....just me....not grandma, not great-grandma....just me. Especially while out in public....I used to get embarrassed, and still do on occasion, but most times we'll leave the place no matter where we are, I'll ignore it (or try to), or laugh...it is the best medicine.

Answer 5

I have a 2 year old and I find myself wanting to chuckle when she's throwing a fit sometimes. It's hard not to laugh when they are so angry about something really absurd. I try not to laugh at her though, because I don't want her to think I'm dismissing her feelings. My only concern is hurting her self confidence.

Answer 6

If he's actually frightened (like on the kiddie ride), it's not a good idea to laugh at him. You'll scar him that way. When he's just being unreasonable, however, I see your chuckles as a gentle way to be honest with him about how far such behaviour will really get him either with you, or with anyone.

Answer 7

I think sometimes you can't help but laugh at the antics they pull. My son who is nearly 2, throws the most absurd fits I have ever seen and there are times when I have no clue why he is thrashing himself around crying. There are times when I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. I read something not too long ago about the frustrations of a 2 year old. I thought it was pretty good, because it pointed out that they are still having their own frustrations at not being able to communicate their own feelings, and they certainly aren't old enough to identify what they are feeling, and that is how it is coming out.
It made me feel bad for my son in realizing he basicaly just had no outlet for what he was feeling. Their lack of understanding is something that only a parent can help.
I think I have seen and done it myself before, parents laughing when their kid is crying, as you said, basicaly just chuckling. I think thats just mainly because they are displaying an unreasonable fear - but that fear they have is not unreasonable to THEM, just to us as adults because we have come to an understanding of what is what.
Here's a horrible thing. The first time my son went for his shots, I was very nervous. I have a major fear of needles myself. I did what the nurse told me to do, held my son down. I saw the reaction on his little face and I couldnt help it- I laughed. I felt so awfull, and the nurse did not notice that I had tears in my eyes as well. That was just nervous laughter though. It happens, as human beings we all have different ways of dealing with things. Laughter can be one of those ways.
I think it becomes more of a problem as they get older however. I refuse to laugh at the smart alec comments my older children make when they are responding to something I told them they needed to do, or when they are being disciplined, because it negates your authority. Laughing about it later, or hiding to laugh is usually your best bet, and face it - you are going to laugh at the garbage they pull sometimes.
I hang on to the fact that as long as I don't allow my children to throw fits, as long as I don't encourage that behaviour...which is another thing laughter can do as merriment is a form of encouragment... then I think I have some hope of teaching them that throwing fits is not ok. Someday it will stop. Apparently its just a phase that hits periodicaly throughout childhood.
So yeah, you probably are venting. As long as you aren't out intentionally torturing your children, I think you will be fine lol.
Good luck!

Answer 8

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was at wal-mart the other day and I was tired of getting mad at my son which is also 2 he started to scream at the top of his lungs so i looked at him and said when we get outside do you want to have a screaming contest cause i know i can scream louder than that! and I started to laugh at him which made him even more mad! you probably are just venting that's what i do i guess in a way it's better to laugh than to lose your temper! Terrible Two's I believe it now!!! lol...my daughter was never this way and I always heard that boys were better...ya right!!! lol...

and im not saying yes!!!!!! that there is something wrong with I am saying yes!!!! That i have gone through it too!!! lol

Answer 9

okay so my son is 19 months old and I ignore him when he throws fits, and that's the way they say you are suppose to deal it it. now who cares if you laugh? your his mother and as long as your not breaking any laws you can do whatever the hell you want. I think its hecka funny when my son throws a fit, BUT I would never let him see me laugh like you said you don't. so I would,t worry about it to much. and who cares what the other people on this says they are jerks!!

Answer 10

Sometimes you can't help but laugh, but I would try to hold the laughter in when he's angry. That might invalidate his feelings and increase his anger/tantrum. Maybe you could turn the laughter into a funny face and distract him with that? :)