I am in a four month relationship with my girlfriend. We got together when school ended last year and have dated since then with no problems. I really love and care about her so much. I have a problem because shortly before we met I let this girl give me a handjob. We had talked on the phone & online but I had never seen her. It was nothing more than that and I don't like or care about that girl at all. The thing is I told my gf that the girl just grabbed me and it was a little more than that. I have asked God for forgiveness and I regret it so much and think about it everyday. I just don't know if I should admit that I lied or just go on with it. I'm really scared she's going to think I'm a bad person and not trust me. That girl was the first girl I have ever messed with besides my gf and it won't much. I am still a virgin. So is my gf she's 16 and I'm 17. I just love and care about her so much and wish I would have met her earlier. I have prayed so much over this.
2006-08-29 04:01:52 · 15 answers · asked by John 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I don't want to hurt her and her to not trust me or anything because I care so much about her and I really want it to last. Please no funny answers.
2006-08-29 04:10:46 · update #1
I am so sorry that your religion has warped your view of sexuality. Your feelings stem from being brainwashed since birth in believing crazy puritan ideals. This fills you with guilt and actually alters your sexuality and views on sexuality in much the same way that someone who has been abused might be altered. I really am sorry you have been damaged by your religion in this manner.
What you have done is a perfectly normal sexual activity that countless people your age have done. You do not need to confess every intimate detail of every past relationship to every girl you ever meet. If you do you will likely die alone and will probably still be a virgin.
What you did with that other girl does not expose your current girlfriend to any risks, such as catching an STD for example. So you just need to accept that some of your brainwashing has been wrong, and that sexuality is perfectly normal.
2006-08-29 04:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are very young, I am proud that you are wanting to remain pure for your wife latter.
What happened with the other Girl was BEFORE you met your current Girl Friend, you have prayed about it, asked for forgiveness, If you are Catholic, you can go to confession.
Either way, I would not continue to beat yourself up over it! Let the past stay in the past. You do not owe your current Girl a life long explanation of all of your past relationships.
Just imagine how bad you would feel if you had done more!
You are 17! Don't grow up to quick! Enjoy being where you are now without guilt and worry. A sexual relationship will bring both.
You sound like a smart young man, I am glad that there are some good people like you left in your generation!
May God Bless you!
2006-08-29 11:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say this happened before you met the girl friend you have now so you shouldn't feel as if you cheated on her.I don't want to add to your burden but have you asked God to forgive you for fornacating with the girl that this was done with?One of the most wonderfull things about God is his mercy so if you haven't I would suggest you ask Him its just that easy, and while your doing that ask Him to forgive you of the lie you told to the girl you Love so much.That should be easy to because where sin abounds grace does much more abound.As for you confessing to your girlfriend I see no profit in it.You have done her no harm this time that I can see.You should be carefull in the future to use this as a stepping stone and not a stubbling block.Watch what comes out of your mouth,choose your words wisely .I so much respect your sensitive spirit there are those that wouldn't give it a second thought.But remember this we can only SIN against God sometimes God might ask us to go to someone and apologize and that's good but it still boils down to what God says and not man.Read the scripture I choose for my source its David repenting for kill Bathsheba's husband and committing adultery with her.
2006-08-29 11:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by don_steele54 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the truth will set you free here actually. If the young lady that you are with now is worth it, she will have forgiveness in her heart and certainly if you did not know her well before...she can't say you were unfaithful because you didn't know her when the incident occured. Everyone makes mistakes and fall prey to sin. Especially a young man's hormones! Tell her what you said here and about how you feel about her. Tell her what your fears were and why you lied. Out of respect for her...explain! Give her some credit for having a forgiving heart and not being judgemental. Believe it or not...she will respect you for being truthful with her and realize that in doing so...it was hard for you and that you are telling her because you do respect her. Better to start off a relationship with honesty. It's more foolproof than lies.
2006-08-29 11:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by peacemaker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it's good in this day and age that as a Christian you feel a responsibility to stay pure in your relationships. Unfortunately, you gave in to a moment of weakness, and now realize the consequences of your actions. You're on the right track by asking for God's forgiveness, but by lying to your gf you aren't being completely honest. If you really love your girlfriend, you need to be honest with her. If she cares for you as much as you do for her, she'll forgive you. Tell her the truth sooner than later, so it seems less like you were trying to keep it from her rather than being ashamed of it. Keep in mind for your current relationship that you want to maintain your purity (hers as well) in case this relationship doesn't work out so you don't have more regrets later in life. Maintaining a healthy, pure relationship isn't easy in this day and age but you and your future bride will appreciate it more than you can realize now. God bless.
2006-08-29 11:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by K S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think she should be able to forgive you, especially since you didn't know her when this happened between you and the other girl. on the other hand... it isn't necessarily her business, either. it's really up to you. if it bothers you, you need to clear things up. just explain that you really like her and you were scared you'd lose her if she knew that a girl has done that to you already. congrats on your virginity. oh, and if your current gf decides she can't date you because of this... maybe she isn't the one!
2006-08-29 11:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by jami p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to confession, speak to your priest. You should nto beat yourself up about this. You have not sinned.
If this is bothering you this much you should tell her. But she should understand as it happened before you met her. if you are afraid she will get mad and leave you because of this then this is not the girl for you.
P.S. - stop messing with you girlfriend...it may not be a sin but it is against the law...
2006-08-29 11:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by Billy! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to live with yourself.
Be open with her. Don't you think she too has done things she would rather not bring into the light? By you doing it, it might help her also unlift the burdens she's carrying.
Please, walk in your light and truth and integrity. The world needs more wayshowers.
2006-08-29 11:10:48 · answer #8 · answered by Joy_Brigade 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have lied to your gf, you have to tell her that you lied and ask for her forgiveness. If she is a good person, she will forgive you and that will be the end of teh worry and guilt.
2006-08-29 11:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The only solooshun is to cut off the harlot's hands. This is my will.
2006-08-29 11:05:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋