My boyfriend told me the other day that when i'm out with my friends and i pull (just wanna point out i dont go looking to pull) then its ok if i do stuff with this guy (which i wouldn't dream of doing anyway as i love my boyfriend to pieces). He said all of it would be ok as i am going home to him afterwards (we live togther). Guys could you explain to me from a guys point of view why he said this as i dont get it??
2006-08-29 03:19:06 · 37 answers · asked by sparkleeyes82 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just need to add that he said this when we was doing it and he also said it would turn him on to watch me with another man (this did freak me out at the time)
2006-08-29 03:25:03 · update #1
Also wanna point out as previously already mentioned i dont go out to pull other guys i never have whilst in a relationship in otherwords I DONT DO CHEATING!!! and i do know how to say no thanks to guys.
2006-08-29 03:28:08 · update #2
Sorry, I'm a girl and thought that my answer might help.
As long as everything is ok with the two of you, it sounds as if it is a fetish and a fantasy. And I'll be honest and tell you that I understand this from your POV as I've had a similar experience. My bf got really turned on by the thought and fantasy of it, but if push came to shove, it's not something that he really wanted. The hows and whys of it from his POV seem strange to most people but different people tick in different ways.
2006-08-29 10:20:00 · answer #1 · answered by snowfoxx71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what he said to you shows that he is a very complicated man.
Its hard to believe that he could be anything other than hurt by the idea of you doing something with other boys so I can only assume that he perceives the idea of you wanting to meet other boys as being more important than his own feelings, which is incredibly humble of him and he needs reassurance from you.
You must also take the position that pulling is not acceptable - even if it leads to nothing - its just going to damage your partner and therefore your relationship. Obviously you value the relationship otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question in the first place.
I think your boyfriend needs to hear from you that you are not interested in knowing any other man, but you will have to walk the words you say
2006-08-29 03:42:55 · answer #2 · answered by Nimbus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 100% serious but believe me if it did happen without his knowledge he would probably hit the wall! He's just got low self-esteem & trying to cover his back, if you do go with someone else, he can feel better about it by telling himself "well i told her she could anyway", it also gives him the sense that he had some control over the situation, if theres one thing guys like its to wear the trousers in the relationship (although its becoming more to the contrary nowadays)! Just emphasis this point that you're with him & that as long as you are, you have no intentions of hooking up with anyone else (if you keep enforcing this point, it will get through to him), you will see in time that he will become more comfortable with going out because he will have more trust for you! Hope this helps!
2006-08-29 04:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by pauld81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has said this because he has most likely gone out and pulled some other chick, So now he has told you it is ok for you to go out and pull other guys, so he does not feel guilty.
This happened to my girlfriends sister, her boyfriend phoned her up and said a similar thing saying that if she cheated on him it would be ok, coz of a long distance relationship.
As we found out he had slept with a prostitute!
So, I would just ask him to be honest just to get this uncertainty out of the air!
2006-08-29 03:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by Fizban 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably a fantasy for him and fantasy's should remain just that reality is a different thing all together.I for 1 would never want to imagine my other half with any one else and I'm sure she would feel the same way.For a guys point of view a guy would probably do this if his relationship wasn't serious .
2006-08-29 05:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was probably just in the throws of passion and verbally expressing a visual fantasy that popped up in his head. most likely because he wanted to SEE what it looked like as he was making love to you. since, short of removing his eyes from their sockets, he cannot he had this fantasy, simultaneously, believing that it would turn you on to have another man. i believe that he is basically letting you know that he loves you and would do whatever he can to make you happy. although, I'm not sure if this was simply a spur of the moment fantasy or an ongoing development that he is SERIOUSLY considering. if so, be cautious of the outcome if you decide to play along. all hell could break loose.
2006-08-29 03:41:27 · answer #6 · answered by Friendly Neighbor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess he goes out with his friends and does the same ... pulls a woman and has sex with her without thinking about you and the risk he's putting you both under ...
It's all very well him having a fantasy about you doing it with another guy, but if you actually did do it, I bet he'd change his mind!
Maybe you should pull a guy, take him back to your place and introduce him to your boyfriend with the words "we're going to do it, you're going to watch" ... then see how he feels!
2006-08-29 03:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A fantasy of you as a separate, independent woman who makes her own choices and not just as his girlfriend. Giving you your freedom. Doesn't mean he's cheating on you.
Could also mean he really likes the idea of both of you having other lovers but always coming back to each other. Nice idea (for some) but messy in reality. Might also mean he really loves you and trusts you for him to express this fantasy. So it's just a fantasy to enjoy and means nothing more.
Not enough to go on. You'll just have to ask him what he means; I'm not sure and I'm a guy.
2006-08-29 06:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by blackhole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he just wants you do have a threesome or watch you with another guy by the other things that he's said but is just a bit too shy to say it outright. Or maybe in the 'heat of the moment' he got a bit carried away with his fantasy and vocalised it. If it bothers you ask him Exactly what he means. Just remember that if you do something like that to please him reality never lives up to the fantasy.
2006-08-29 03:38:34 · answer #9 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this was just a fantasy of his thinking of a partner with someone else can be terribly exciting and such a turn on, but to actually do it needs a whole lot of trust and openness between the couple,. i love my wife dearly but dont think our relationship would last if that situation happened.
2006-08-29 03:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by derren_sally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋