military wife?

Question

i am going to be a military wife next year and keep hearing stuff about military lifestyle. what does this mean? my bf is currently deployed and has been for almost a year so i understand about being on your own and stuff. is there anything else i need to know that they dont tell you before hand? thanks!

he is in the army and we have both come to the decision that when he comes home home i will not be working. this might change later on but since i am moving from ny to tn and he is going to be having leave and we will be visiting with family out of state that its not the best thing for me to work at the moment. i dont have a problem with that.

Answer 1

military life can be easy or hard. yes you may end up in some places where all you have is other military wives to hang with while he's gone, but you can still enjoy it. take in the local cultures and site while overseas. there are jobs you can get on base as a civilian or just volunteer to get out of the house(don't be a couch potato that i would agree on. join a bowling team, softball, some bases need teachers assistance in military brats schools. you could get a college education unless you already have one. seek a hobby can help. if you are alone allot and like pets get one for company. if you are a church goer, be active in your church. keep your own mind active while he is gone so that you are not stir crazy. especially if you don't have family or friends to hang with. don't allow other women to pull you into their problems like if they are committing adultery and such. what you do as a wife reflect on your husband. support his time when he has to study for each test he takes for a new rank. i don't know about army, but make the decision together in choosing the base that suits his field that you would also like to experience. (air force gets up to 3 choices depending on rank and field in the military. well there is more, but i don't want to over whelm you. good luck and god bless your marriage to come.

Answer 2

I've been an Army wife for 18 years and I love it. The Army can be an extended family if you let them be. Yes, it's true, they don't care much about families, but not in a bad way. Soldiers have a job to do and honestly, family can't interfere with that. It's good you're willing to work. You'll always want to be busy. We've never lived in post housing. Most of it wasn't the best quality and everyone is in everyone else's business. Within the unit, you'll see many things from unit to unit. Some units, the officers wives think they're all that. Then in some, there's no difference between you and them. Everyone is close and gets along. Don't judge a whole unit just on a couple people. Go to meetings and get to know the other wives. Participate at a level that you're happy with. Medical care is at best, average. There's some really good docs and some that just don't care. I've had every end of the spectrum. I'm sure you know how much he makes in pay. It can be tight sometimes. We only get paid once a month because of when our bills are due. Most, get paid twice a month. It's a personal choice. We, however, only have 3 bills due after the 15th, so it just doesn't work. You'll get BAH if you live off post. This doesn't pay your rent or utilities, but it's a huge help. You really shouldn't have much out of pocket expense unless you live out of your means. He'll get BAS, which is his money for food. They only feed the soldier. You'll have to pay dental insurance, but it's good insurance. Only certain things are costly. If you go overseas, you'll get extra money for that too. Deployments also bring extra money. However, I'd rather have him than the money. On average, you'll move every 3 years, although they really are trying to stabalize people. Deployments are frequent now. There's always a steady rotation. Honestly, while he's deployed, expect "if it can go wrong, it will go wrong". This isn't a bad thing, there's just alot to maintaining a household and taking care of your soldier. It's a time of strength. There's many agencies in the military that can help you with things. You can get emergency funds from AER to job help to help with post questions and so on at ACS. There's things out there for just about any situation if you look. I really can't think of anything else. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

well, im in the military and as a husband, i would say that the most important thing to do is keep your relationship strong, being gone for months at a time, or even a year isn't a thing to take lightly. you have to be truly committed to each other, and not let temptation ruin your marriage. the key to it is keeping in touch with each other, call each other, write letters, send pictures, write naughty letters and send some provocative pictures every once in a while to keep the fire going. get use to the idea that you will be traveling around about every 2 years or so, and be there for each other, because when it comes down to it, you're all each other is going to have. so learn how to talk, joke, and be both a friend (like the guys) and a wife. in anycase, good luck to both of you.

Answer 4

I was 27 when I married into the military. It's a whole different life in a strange way.

There are rules for how wives can dress - wives can get hubbies in serious trouble for running their mouths/b!tching too much. Be careful who you tell what - from what I've experienced too much gossip (which I detest).

Take the tour that the post offers (I know they did at Bragg).

Good luck. I love being a military wife even with the differences. Due to living on post - I've been able to be a stay at home mom - which on the outside I doubt I'd have been able to do. That makes all the crap worth it.

Answer 5

it can be tough.

What branch is he going into?
You can expect long times away from him, when he deploys to Iraq or wherever his unit goes. You will have to learn to deal with the red tape and government BS of all the agencies on the base. If you live in government housing, thats another big headache to deal with.
Prepare to move every 2-3 years, so any career you may want will be difficult. You will have to look for a new job every time, at a new city without any contacts you may have known. Your kids will change schools often and have to make new friends every time you move.
If he gets stationed in another country, you may be able to move there with him (like Germany). But be prepared to deal with culture shock, and not being able to get a job there.

Answer 6

I love being a military wife. It is hard at times but it is fun. We live on base and there is not a lot of crap as others have said. Sometimes it is hard to find a job but you can find them if you look. There is so much to know that you just have to learn. You can go to this website it can help http://www.militaryonesource.com/skins/MOS/home.aspx

Answer 7

You are treated as a second class citizen by all you encounter on the base... they view wives as a necessary evil. I hated being a military wife (20years of that crap!)

I finally tolerated by moving off base as far as we could, and becoming a normal citizen again.

You also will not get a job in the local area, all I ever got told was either a. "Why should we hire you when we know you're leaving in 3 years?" or b. "We only hire locals." It really sucked.

Answer 8

You need to know that you butt is going to baloon up huge, and if you go to a place like Germany then you will hang out all day with other military wifes who are unemployed because the military only has so many jobs for spouses... Youll talk about whos cheating on who, and the soap operas and raising the kids it will be pretty lame. Military life sucks.