i have been in a relationship with my partner for nearly three years. six months into our relationship i began to suffer from bulimia. although im an attactive girl I had began to get paranoid that he would be looking at other females in the street, on tv and on the internet in a sexual way. I explained my worries to him and he told me that i was being silly and he wasnt doing it. After having suffered from bullimia for a year, and my partner constantly telling me i was being silly, i finally caught him looking at certain images on the internet id rather not discuss.
im batteling to keep my bulimia undercontrol, however sometimes it gets the better of me. i know that i am of a perfectly normal weight and am told that i dont look fat at all. However i feel im obviously not good enough for my partner, and am constantly struggling to keep myself attractive for him. I cant help but sometimes feel very resentfull towards him whilst loving him so much. i just dont know what to do.
2006-08-29 03:16:47 · 10 answers · asked by k7_w8 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Hi honey, I have gone through these same problems. I was never bullimic but I would do extreme exercise regiments and starve myself because my partner always looked at porn and other beautiful girls and describe what made them so beautiful. Of course I never felt good enough compared to these airbrush fantasy images. I am still not completely over it, but I have learned to get along with myself better by realizing some things. For one, the images they look at are ALL airbrushed. Almost all celebrities have had cosmetic surgery and are not even real. He is not even looking at something real, he is looking at a piece of artwork that someone created for fantasy. Like it or not, other attractive people will be in his life forever. The GOOD thing is though, that beauty is only skin deep. There is so much more to the reality of life other than beauty. People notice beauty for maybe the first few moments, and we can't help that. The only reason they are beautiful on the outside is by a genetic chance. Something they had no control over and you don't either. Or they had cosmetic surgery and that has something to say about their insecurities and personality. It may be a little shallow that people take notice to beautiful people, but you have to learn in your heart that the type of person they are is what matters. Would your bf choose to be around these very same people if their personalities were hideous and they were self absorbed, unintelligent, or selfish? There is plenty more to life than looks. What about your own feeligns? opinions? likes and dislikes? what you've accomplished or your plans for the future? These are the characterisitics that a person will want to be compatible with for their partner. Looks should not matter in a realtionship, nor should they define your life. They can't! They may make an impression for 1 second, but any person with any sense of intelligence will overcome that and look into someone with personality. Find someone that values people for who they are, not how they look. Also, you only have control over you, and no one else. If someone is hurting you or doing something to you you don't like, who is stopping you from moving on? Find strength in yourself to not care what others do. All you have is YOU and you need to be happy with yourself. Dump him if he is causing you self esteem problems.
2006-08-29 04:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. First, the fact that you are acknowledging that you have bulimia, and that it's a problem is a fantastic sign that you want to move towards recovery. Experiencing low self-esteem while stuggling with an eating disorder is very common. As you recover and sort through the things that caused the ED in the first place, your self-esteem should improve.
My recommendation would be to find a good therapist to work with, and/or a good support group. Keep talking with your boyfriend and be honest about how you are feeling. I imagine that, as you work on your recover, things will improve with him too.
Below are some ED recovery links to find a therapist and/or group.
Hang in there!
2006-08-29 10:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by EDtherapist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i tend to agree with some things from above,but i think it may be 2harsh 2dump him as all blokes look at other girls-its natural!!im sure u may have looked at other guys-are there any music/movie stars u fancy??at the end of the day ur fella is wiv u,he must care bout u or he would b wiv some other bird.i suffered wiv bulimia/annorexia since i was 12,im ok now,but look the oppossite 2what i was-im a chubby girl now!!but my fella loves me no matter what.why don1t u try 2talk 2some1 like a friend or family member??or perhaps ur fella again??things do get better,just don1t keep things bottled up hun.hope it works out 4u
2006-08-29 14:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by fireblade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being bulemic is one of the worst things you could do to yourself. It makes you extremely unhealthy, and you could even die from it, if your bulemia goes too far.
My advice is to try to stop as soon as you can, no matter what the consequences. If you can, try to enlist the help of a doctor and/or psychiatrist. They will be able to help you more than you can possibly imagine.
And, if you truly love and trust your partner, he would and should love you no matter what you look like, and vice versa. You should have peace of mind that he cares for your well being, and should want to help you overcome your disease. Otherwise, it may be best to get him out of your life, for the sake of your mental and physical health.
Best of luck!
2006-08-29 10:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly natural for a man to look at "images on the internet." It doesn't have anything at all to do with the person they are with. He's not looking them up and calling them for sex, so stop worrying about it. He's still there with you, but you'll end up pushing him away if you let this become an issue between the two of you.
2006-08-29 10:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by AzOasis8 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
most men are going to look at things like that anyway, you are probably wondering if he will leave you for some-one else, thinner. prettier, we can never be sure of this, but if you keep doing this you will damage your body and your looks so think about it..but first think of all that acid you bring up, it takes the enamel off your teeth, makes your breath stink from your gut, your eyes start to puff up and water constantly, your neck swells so your Adams apple looks massive,your body starts to run out of places to take energy vitamins etc from- so starts on your muscles,then your internal organs then your brain, where else does it get food from if you keep bringing it up. you have to find a proper diet, of healthy foods and stop doing this to yourself, before it starts showing..
2006-08-29 11:18:53 · answer #6 · answered by keechee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't doubt your partner. trust in him. understand that the personality matters most. even the most drop dead gorgeous woman will lose her looks at a certain age! beauty never lasts. don't hurt yourself be doing this, be confident and love yourself.
imagine yourself being a parent and finding out that his/her child dislikes what he/she has given to the child. don't hurt yourself, for if you do, you're hurting the ones who love you as well.
2006-08-29 10:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by mondo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to so you have taken the first step.
2006-08-29 10:18:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would speak to your dr
2006-08-29 10:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by munchie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"How do we come up with this chit in this country???"
2006-08-29 10:23:39 · answer #10 · answered by jaike 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋