Desperate need for advice?

Question

I'm in love with this guy and he's in love with me, but it seems that whenever i make a guy friend....even though they know i'm with someone they tend to end up telling me that they are falling for me... what am i supposed to do tell them, we can't be friends any more? not be so caring, open and honest with them? i mean i'm just being myself and it gets me into trouble...please advise

and no i'm not full of myself.... i'm being serious

Answer 1

I have the same problem.

The best thing that I have found is to incorporate my boyfriend into most of the social situations I have with my guy pals. I also talk about my boyfriend all the time. I don't do this because I love him stupid or anything. I do this so my friends know that I'm happily attached. I am dating a Taurus and they are possessive...........so it just makes everything smoother.

ALSO!! and this is very important!!!!!!! NEVER EVER EVER talk about your and your boyfriend problems to other men ESPECIALLY your guy friends. Men (even the ones who mean well) automatically get protective of their girlfriends and friends. Plus if they did have feelings for you they will use that to their advantage.

At the end of the day........you really just have to make a choice between your level of friendship with the guys or your level of commitment to your boyfriend. I'm not saying never have guy friends..........I'm just saying...............watch how deep that friendship gets.

Answer 2

You need to make sure that you are not giving off the wrong signals to these guys, sometimes a slight endearing touch can be misunderstood or mistaken as wanting more than friendship...it's important to stress always to these guy friends that there is nothing more than friendship between you, because you are happy with someone of your own...as long as this point is clear, then there should be no misunderstandings...one point to look at be aware of your own actions that they are not too overly friendly or flirty this can also send out the wrong signals to men, not saying you cant be yourself, but maybe hold back a little from being so open, some guys feel that they need to rescue you, and I'm sure you don't to be saved do you.

Answer 3

Welcome to the world of male friends. Sooner or later we all end up falling in love with our female friends. Some will do something about it, and some will accept the fact that it can never be. You should be able to tell them that you aren't interested, and they should be able to accept that and continue to treat you as a good friend. There is no reason to stop being caring, open and honest with them, as long as you make it very clear that they are friends and never have a chance of anything more. Some will decide they can't be around you, and you have to live with it. But some (the better ones) will stick around, and be honoured that you regard them as a friend you could trust.

Just be honest in what you tell them. Don't be scared. Best of luck :)

Answer 4

Well I know what you mean, that has happened to me often in the past. Now what I do, especially since I'm in a relationship, I let them know that I care for them as a friend, but that I'm a VERY loyal person and that will not change. If they can't respect the friendship boundaries than you will have to stop being friends. If they are a real friend they will respect that about you and not cross the line of friendship. (some of them will find this even more reason to love you, but that's the curse of being so lovable....*wink*) Best wishes! :)

Answer 5

You probably have a special charisma. Fellows can't resist your charms. You were born with it. Alot of men have this as well. You could say you are in a relationship and you just need a friend with no strings attached. He will know where he stands from the beginning. Try and keep that caring, open and honest feeling for the guy that you love.

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel as I also have the same problem. And I found a solution - don't make any more guy friends. That is the only solution really. As guys tend to take us chicks the wrong way and they always want something to develop into a relationship. So make more chick friends, best of luck amigo.

Answer 7

Actually it happens because you get too close to these guy friends of yours. When you are seeing someone, make sure that you are not currently that close to any of your guy friends and stick to girls...that way you're safer. Plus guys usually think that if a girl is being caring, open and honest with them...she wants to be closer than just a friend (bad ego problems, I know!)

Answer 8

First of all, how are you presenting yourself to them? Maybe you are misleading them in some way that you are not realizing or maybe its just that some guys tend to use this line to get their needs met , but that may not always be the case. Maybe it's your personality that attracts them to you. You have to make them realize that you are interested in only one person at the moment and that you really love this guy. If they can't handle that, then you must move on because they are only set on one thing. I hope that sheds some light. :)

Answer 9

that's always the way when you are single there is never anyone around just tell them you only like them as a pal and if they don't listen then you have to tell them in a harsher manor sometimes you have to do whats best for you and if you really love your man then it's unfair to have all of these men lingering around you. just wait for the paranoia to set in

Answer 10

smack them upside the head and tell them you don't feel that way about them. be honest, don't play games, and maybe take a long hard look at how you talk and act around your male friends. Maybe you are a very flirty person, who happens to make guys feel at ease and they take it the wrong way?