Heres the deal. I have been seeing a woman for going on 5 months, however, I haven't been. To expound on that. She was hurt badly in a previous relationship, where he physically abused her, and she eventually came home catching him in bed.
Here is where it gets fun. I am just taking one step at a time, whatever happens, happens. Every few weeks, she goes on a tangent that there is and cannot be anything happening between us, whether it be because of work, age, time, this, that, whatever.
Flipside, right before she goes through these tangents, she'll start talking about how she wants to live with me, or what it will be like 5 years down the road. Or she'll ask me something intimate like when we first kissed, and then remind me of exactly when it was, eventhough she constantly says she has the worst memory.
My question for you ladies is, what should I think about all this?
2006-08-29 02:51:20 · 18 answers · asked by lilstudcub 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
EVEN THOUGH,I ain't a lady but I can tell U that she's just tasting U to get hold of the responses U give to her idiosyncratic actions............as she had a bad relationship earlier
So IF u REALLY LOVE HER bear with her actios till U find them intolerable
I think U can do this for the sake of love
2006-08-29 02:59:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long ago was the other relationship? How long was she with this other person? She may still be trying to deal with all those issues and may not be ready for any other commitment. I would give her more time. Be a friend, support her and let her know you are there. She may come around, but if you want more than that right now you may want to get out and move on. I think she may care about you just needs more time, and patience.
2006-08-29 03:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
physical abuse in a relationship can cause trauma and emotional distress...the truth is that only she can help herself...she needs to see a therapist to get her emotions cleared...the reason she's so scrambled right now is because she's scared of getting hurt once again...even though you're taking things slow this is one of those things that can only be resolved with counseling and patience... when she expresses her feelings about 5 years down the road, there's no doubt thats how she feels but the part of her thats still hurting will not let her move on...thats when she gets afraid and says nothing can be between you guys
2006-08-29 03:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by prmami4eva_17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is definitely inlove with you and her feelings about you are genuine. But this is where it gets tricky, she does not want to get hurt again and so she goes on these trangents to remind herself that there is someone that loves her dearly and that wont take her for granted. My suggestion to you would be to spoil unexpectantly and to send little love sms through the day or to call her. It is going to take a lot of hard work to get rid of all those bad memories but if you love her then you will be there for her no matter what. So remember she loves, just that she needs reminding that you love her for who she is, that's all.
2006-08-29 02:57:02 · answer #4 · answered by Rock Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just asking for trouble with this girl. You sound like you're a "fixer", meaning you feel it is your duty to make everybody feel better and and try and fix their problems. A fixer will only get sh!t on and never get the girl he desires, the girl usually runs off with the next asshat that comes along after using the fixer to boost her ego. Fixers are always nice guys that do all they can, but never get laid and have to settle for second or third choice girls in their lives. The truth hurts, but I lived it.
2006-08-29 03:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by Alan J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't seem to know what it is that she wants. You need to know if you love her that much to ignore her when she goes on a tangent. I can't tell you what to think of this. Only you know how it is that your mind sees certain things. You have to sit down and really examine the situation and surely your mind and maybe your heart will tell you what to do or think!!!
2006-08-29 04:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I hate to say this, but move on. She is screwed up in the head. It seems you tried to hang in there, but she hasn't dealt with her past. You need a relationship where you both are equals, not constantly dealing with "her issues." Bottomline: She is damaged goods and she needs some therapy.
2006-08-29 02:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by TropicalSun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she needs to figure out who she is before she will be comfortable in a relationship. I woudln't hold out too long for her because right now you are just a comfort for her. She is using you as someone to rely on without promising anything in return. You are not going to be able to live with that for long and you need to think about your own needs.
2006-08-29 02:55:05 · answer #8 · answered by angielynn219 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is playing you for a fool.
She hints at these deep long term commitments just to test your reactions, no doubt you make positive noises and it keeps you on a high for weeks, then she becomes her real self the one that cant be bothered with you.
Dump her and see how she reacts, at the moment your too easy and dependable.
2006-08-29 03:06:00 · answer #9 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep shes got major issues. But guess what...you could dump her and pick up another w/her own set of issues.
2006-08-29 04:38:42 · answer #10 · answered by Z. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋