Limey question: What is is with the American "dating" system?

Question

I'm a good Englishman of score and 12 years and have many an American colleague and friend.

Please...oh colonial cousins across the great pond. Just what is it with the "dating" system in the US. Why can't you just hang out, grab a coffee and if you like each other why not have sex?

My experience of American gals is that they expect men to pay for everything, pick them up at home, bring them back and they use sex as a negotiable commodity.

I mean, I know the US the head of the capitalist economies but seriously does EVERYTHING have a price Stateside??

Just once, I'd like to find an American girl who is easy-going, has no monetery agenda, is intelligent (i.e Doesn't vote Republican), is international in her outlook and embraces her sexuality instead of using it as some kind of bargaining tool.

Answers by FedEx please and God Bless America (I know you guys love that sh*t)

Viking xxx

Answer 1

Hey mate, you are so right, women here seem to think(when thats possible) that their sexuality is the basis for a relationship, so alot of failures, if they would open their eyes, and mind, and think european, maybe there would be more success stories

Answer 2

For the record, it is entirely possible to pick up a woman while out at a bar/coffeehouse/etc., take her home and have sex with her, all without a "date" having ever been arranged.

I think it's a bit misleading to make it out to be a "capitalistic" experience. If you want to criticize it on any grounds, I'd call it sexist and a throwback to a period long before anything we knew as capitalism the "romantic love" notions which arose during the Middle Ages. Fundamentally, I think it is driven by the differences in the sexes and culturally ingrained courtship rituals.

Is "dating" in the UK really all that different? Do you really just "hang out and have a coffee" and then have sex? Somehow I doubt it.

For sure English girls are a bit different than American girls, but I'm sure they have the same desire to be courted and pursued, and that you have paid for your share of meals and drinks (caffeinated or alcoholic) in your time.

Last but not least, very often men and women meet out for a date, especially in major urban centers where they're less likely to have their own car.

Could the dating system be improved and made less sexist? Probably. Your comments are not entirely off-base, but I think it's just frustration talking, rather than some brilliant neo-marxist deconstruction of the "bourgeouis" cultural practice.

Answer 3

First off, I LOVE THIS QUESTION! This cracked me up.

Okay, coming from a fellow guy (American and a Democrat) I don't really agree 100% with what you're saying. With your accent you should have women hanging all over you IF you are pretty hot, respectable, intelligent. American women are a persnickity lot, they don't just fall for anything (i.e., an awesome accent), they have set the bar very very high. As such, if you show respect have a great body, are intelligent, etc you should have no problem with finding an American woman who would love to just have a casual relationship with you.

Answer 4

Why don't you have enough sense to quit wasting every ones time and just go get a prostitute? Or, are you even too cheap for that? Sex is only an issue if you make it one. Once someone feels comfortable with you and start feeling like you may be worth her sleeping with, then you shouldn't have a problem. But it sounds like you just want the sex without the time and effort. You have to put in the romance to get in the pants. And yes you are correct everything cost here...but we don't mind working for it.

Answer 5

ROFL
intelligence doesnt exclude being republican, intelligence in this country excludes being either republican or democrat.

take your pick mate, either leave politics out of it all, or go without. taking the piss out of the yank women with politics is a sure fire way to end up with your only hopes of pudding being the kind bill cosby sells.

as much as you have to leave out politics, well, not going there. if you're too (how shall i say it and not be insulting), financially adaptive, to consider showing american women a decent time out on the town, then you may as well hit the corner and just pay some strumpet for it.

Answer 6

I love the way all these sexually frustrated Yanks boil the whole equation down to sex and money.

Guys...it's not ABOUT the sex. It's about the expectation.........

Casual sex is easy. I know exactly what he means.... it's about this hackneyed, worn out 1950's style dating system which shoul d have gone out with J Edgar Hoover.

Whether or not it ends in sex, can't Americans just CHILL out and enjoy spending time with the opposite sex without it being made into this enourmous deal.

I spend a year in the US and was so frustrated to find that it was either all or nothing. One night me and an Australian mate suggested grabbing a beer after work one day and our American colleagues looked at us like we'd just insulted their mothers. One guy actually said " You wanna get drunk??" like it was some sort of mortal sin to hang out with a beer after work.

Jaguar.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

LOL -- You're a cheeky Brit!

I'm easy-going, have no monetary agenda (I make as much or more than the men I've dated), am highly intelligent (3 college degrees and an IQ over 140), I don't vote along any party lines, and I certainly embrace my sexuality without using it as any kind of bargaining tool.

But -- you had to know there would be a but -- I also have enough self-respect not to give away the goodies to every Tom, Dick and Harry who happens to be horny that night! With HIV/AIDS and rampant STDs everywhere, I use my intelligence and street smarts to protect myself.

Let's face it guys, cheap one-night stands are a dime a dozen, and you men just aren't THAT GOOD to be worth dying for.

Answer 9

You have got to stop hanging around the debutante balls at the yacht club. The majority of American girls are no different than the majority of English girls, (Which by the way, neither of which have the international outlook that you so desire). Most women internationally would like sex to be more than a recreational activity, a mere ending to a shared double latte tall.

Answer 10

ating system is any systemic means of improving matchmaking via rules or technology. It is a specialized meeting system where the objective of the meeting, be it live or phone or chat based, is to go on a live date with someone, with usually romantic implications. Recently, "couple-dating" and "friend-dating" systems have also become popular, especially among those who met on dating systems and enjoy the interactions, but have settled down with mates.

The history of dating systems is as interesting as the history of technologies that support them. Live dating systems or methods are usually not considered as separate from the matchmaking process, which often employs games or rules or rituals in many cultures, so these are discussed in more depth in that article.

A notable and recent live dating system that does not seem to have arisen in traditional matchmaking is speed dating, which relies to some degree on the transportation and communication facilities of a modern society, and reflects its accelerated pace of life.