this girl is the world to me, and i really am having a tough time understanding this, could you help. thanks?

Question

this is what a girl i like sent me, after i asked her how she felt. i know it sounds like a nice way of saying no, but her and her mom are really close, and she says shes just REALLY scared of ruining the friendship. What should i think she( the girl i like) is telling me, based on this email


hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later


now, too me that sounds like a nice way of saying no because of " i have never seen us as more than friends and tahts how it should stay..
but becuz of this " i just dont wanna ruin a frienship" confuses me

now, i know she has made it very clear, she doesnt want to take it to the next level.... do u think that in the future shell like me or what..i mean..cuz she says she afraid of ruinin the friendship.so what should i do

Answer 1

That response sounds very cold to me. Move on.

Answer 2

Ok dude, you got your answer. She wants to be friends. Leave it at that.

My advice to you is date another girl, even if it's not serious, just date. It will help you get over the swimmer and you will be able to remain friends with her instead of obsessing and ruining the friendship by forcing her to get rid of you.

Also, I advise you to talk to _her_ and stop asking her mom for clues on what her daughter is doing. You are friends with the swimmer, not her mom.

I say stay in touch and be friends, date other people. No one knows what the future may hold, so play it by ear and call an audible if the situation calls for it (ok, I hope all those analogies didn't throw you off). And for GOD's sake, stop over analyzing.

Answer 3

well i would just go ahead with your friendship as it is...maybe later she will see you in a different light...but if you find someone that you would like to date. i would go ahead and date her...she is saying that she does not feel for you right now as more than a friend....so just leave it that way...it did not sound cold to me, it was nice of her to say that she did not want to ruin a good friendship...some do go further and then ruin their friendship...this has happened..so just be friends but meet other friends too...

Answer 4

You should respect her decision. After all she is kinda right. You wouldn't want to have a relationship with her and it turns sour. You guys do have a good friendship. BUT, if you she her getting jealous when you try to move on with something else, then she could be lying to you because she really wants to be with you. I know this is confusing but women can be complicated like that.

Answer 5

That was her nice way of putting you down. Don't push the issue or she may turn colder. She just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Move on man, grab your fishing gear.......lots more fish in the water. Keep her as a friend, it is always nice to have a woman as a friend to get her perspective on things.

Good luck,

Answer 6

Well it seems to me that she only wants friendship.move on. Maybe you should avoid her for a bit- there is nothing harder than trying to get over someone and still spending time with them. i had a friend who i really liked but he only wanted to be friends-he was sweet about it but it hurt.i still carried a torch for him for ages and everytime he was nice to me i thought maybe he will change his mind.but he never did. we were still friends but that made it impossible to move on. get some space and you can move on first, then contiue as friends.