been dating a guy since january. i want a commitment but he doesn't. neither of us is seeing anyone else so it's hard for me to imagine why he doesn't want to settle down. is it time to move on....or should i wait it out and see if he'll come around? i don't want to be with anyone else and i've never felt like this before, but, if he doesn't want to commit then, i feel like i may be wasting my time.
2006-08-29 00:25:47 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i don't mean commit in terms of marriage...i mean commit in terms of being boyfriend and girlfriend. we are both near thirty.
2006-08-29 00:33:21 · update #1
we have discussed it. he still says he's not ready but can't gurantee me that he'll never be ready. i should just walk huh?
2006-08-29 00:44:32 · update #2
For sure,it is high time for you two, to have an
OPEN, Honest Communication.
Have a sit down and talk about your relationship and your mutual goals and aspirations.
The one that you can do this with is the one for you.
2006-08-29 00:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by Ahalia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two have been dating each other exclusively and are you sure that he has not been seeing someone else or meet someone recently that may have peeked his interest. if you two have only been dating each other only then maybe he is afraid of commitment--because that can be a very scary thing because so much is expected and he may not think that he can meet up to your expectations. and age also plays a big role sometime--you didn't mention how old you both are. so I would sit down with him and find out the reason "why he is so hesitant" after dating for eight months. if he can't give you a good enough reason to stick around I would move on and just realize that he may not be the one that is meant for you although your heart may think he is.
2006-08-29 00:45:25 · answer #2 · answered by chocolatefancier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, I think the best thing you can do is to move on. I'm going through the same thing and I understand how you feel. What I did was to end things up, because what's the point of having a relationship that has no future even if you love the person that's a waste of time. Besides if he'd love you he would have done anything to be with you. The guy I was dating said that he didn't want to commit and believe me it hurts so bad, but I also think it hurts because of my pride. Move on and good Luck.
2006-08-29 00:32:24 · answer #3 · answered by princess22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
smth in u doesn't suit him. he still believes that there is the perfect one for him out there. of course u don't write how old both of u are. but anyway, according to my experience if a guy likes u and thinks u re the one he will commit immediately. so 8 monts is quite a long time. the only thing i can suggest in this situation keeping in mind that u re the one who likes him more - do not pressure him about commitment. but do not dump him either. but stop having sex with him. say that if he doesn't think u re the one for him so u might remain friends. friends don't f'u'c'k' each other. meanwhile try to go out more. at the end he will either want to commit or u will find someone much better who will want to commit. good luck
ps. ok, i read that u re 30. in that case my statement stands - he doesn't think u re the right one for him. he is still looking. don't be a fool. be looking yourself.
2006-08-29 00:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seven months is not a long time to date someone, and hope for a commitment. Do you mean commitment such as, engagement and marriage, or as in exclusive dating?
If you mean to be exclusive and he won't, then yes, move on. If you mean marriage, it isn't a good amount of time to expect someone to decide to spend the rest of their life with you. BUT, if you feel it is something you need, and you are not getting it from this person...you need to decide. Is it worth hanging on? Does he want to settle down eventually? Does he have the same goals in life? Find out!
Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-29 00:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a big thing to consider. Prior to me and my husband getting married, we were happy being together and didn't need the piece of paper to love each other. We are in our mid 40/50's and had been through it all before. I can understand why you would feel you are wasting your time if marriage is something you want. It might be time for you to move on. Let him know your feelings and why you have decided to move on so you both can have some closure in the relationship.
2006-08-29 00:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both are looking for different types of relationships now then you should move on. He may not want to commit for some years.
2006-08-29 00:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the right time to get marry , without that just avoid making love . Absolutely right age and right time to firm up your relation by getting marry . I am sure at this age you both must have setteled in your career also . so there is no point to wait further . Ask him politely for permanent relation or you must look forward to find another one . Now your age is also compelling for this .
2006-08-29 00:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm me too. Well ours is a LDR (400) miles apart so it's probably a little different. I personally am trying to move on in my head and stay open to meeting someone new BUT my heart isn't in it. I guess you could say I would rather be alone than settle for someone else.
2006-08-29 00:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by judih1957 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course you should move on with your life. If this guy is not ready to commit, then it is definitely time to cut him loose once and for all. It is not your fault that he is scared of commitment.
2006-08-29 00:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by Louise Smith 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋