i'm engaged and i expect of a healthy relation in our marriage, can i ask him (inlcuding me) for a hiv test , is it acceptable, not sure of his reaction over this issue,
2006-08-28 23:54:43 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If this is the person that you are spending the rest of your life with, wouldn't you both want to know that it is going to be a LONG life together?
YES, ask him. If you are unsure how he will react, then maybe you shouldn't be willing to get married. In a marriage there will be things that arise that are going to be "uncomfortable" to talk about, that doesn't mean that you can just ignore it! You MUST be able and comfortable with each other that you can discuss any and all issues.
This is YOUR life that you are talking about, GO FOR IT!!! The worst that he can do is say no, he doesn't want a test. Then, I think you would need to reconsider getting married, maybe he isn't the right one.
Good luck and God Bless
2006-08-29 00:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some states it's actually the law for blood tests before marriage. Check if yours is one of them, if so, it's already decided for you.
If not, then find a time when he's had a good day and is in a fairly calm and relaxed mood. Then gently bring up the subject of you both having a physical done, and the blood work. That way you aren't coming across like HIV is your only concern. He'll probably take it easier if you sound like you are worried about both of your health, not just one aspect.
If he gets mad about it, I would wait for his temper to subside, then explain your reasons. Have some good ones ready just in case. Like wanting to have the chance for healthy kids, a long life together, and to insure that you two won't be limited in your sex lives. Even other STD's and diseases could be a potential problem in the future, so a full work up could find them now. A surprise later after marriage may not be what you two would want.
Make sure you tell him that you want it for both of you, for his protection as well as yours. Since you two are engaged, I would think that he would be caring and considerate. Even if he didn't agree, he would probably respect your feelings. It's really a simple thing you are asking him to do.
2006-08-29 01:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This issue should have been resolved way before you reached the point of engagement. Of course you have every right to ask this, especially since you're getting one too. Why just stop at HIV? Why not get both of you tested for all the STDs? Some can lurk silently while destroying things like your fertility.
2006-08-29 00:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to have a good marriage, you have to be able to communicate what you want. Make sure you ask him to be tested with you for the hiv test. If he loves you, he will do it. He will probably be a little nervous because it isn't every day someone asks you to take a std/hiv test.
Just remember, you have every right to ask for it. This is your body and you have the right to know.
Good for you.
2006-08-29 00:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by missy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days, this is a good idea, not just for HIV/AIDS testing, but for other STDs. No one should be offended by this, especially if you go together. It's a healthy, responsible attitude to have.
2006-08-29 03:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you friend. If you thinks he had committed any infidelity to you then you can go for HIV test. But if you trust him, then it depend on you, after all he is your fiance. Maybe he could also ask you to do the same. Would you go with that idea?
2006-08-29 00:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by Rijied 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ofcourse you can ask him to take a HIV test along with you as you two are going into a serious commitment and need to be fully aware about each other's stuff. If he disagrees maybe he's hiding something
2006-08-29 18:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go for it. Marriage is about trust, but I was told to never trust anyone when it came to my health. That is why my boyfriend had to get a full STD test when it got to the point that we were serious.
2006-08-29 02:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. You should not have to be skeptical of this. I addition to a HIV test you guys need to know what kind of traits you guys carry in order to reproduce the healthiest baby or babies (if your looking forward to having children).
2006-08-29 01:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is a must for any healthy married life so just dont hesistate
the goverment must come out of such rules that this test is a must before marriage
2006-08-30 00:05:09 · answer #10 · answered by immine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋