advise on grief/trauma for a 7yr old boy suffering loss of father and step dad in the space of a year?

Question

When my son was 3 my late husband hung himself in our house and my son was exceptionally close to him. a year later his own father collopased of an overdose on the front porch and my son witnessed this and a small proportion of the mad rush to try and save his fathers life. He is now starting to show signs of behavioural problems that i think are related and do not know who to contact to get him grief councilling or trauma councilling . i live in wales.

Answer 1

Take him to your GP, who'll refer you to the appropriate people.

Answer 2

Your son will need lots of counseling in order to channel his grief in acceptable directions. But the most important thing is to let him know that he's not alone. He may feel scared that all the people he loves will all leave. So show him that you are there for him always. A good childhood friend will also help him by showing that the world isn't all about tragedy. But in counseling, I advise that you find one whom he knows already if possible, because he will be reluctant to share his problems with a complete stranger. But if not possible, help him to develop a deep friendship with his counselor/ doctor.

Answer 3

Ask your doctor or at your local social services office whichever is easier for you to reach. Don't restrict the idea of counselling to your son, you are going to need help as well. You have been through a lot yourself and the family dynamic comes into play in any such situation.
You have obviously been trying very hard to be strong and focused up to now and it is OK for you to let go a bit as well.
I hope that things get better for you and your son and you both get some peace.

Answer 4

Your son needs grief counseling. Your family doctor may be able to provide you with some leads as to where you can take him. If not, punch your city, "grief counseling," and maybe "adolescent" into Google or Yahoo search and make an appointment. I'm not sure if your insurance will cover this, but I wouldn't worry about the money. Depending on what the counselor/psychologist says, you may want to attend therapy with him.

Answer 5

Poor baby, speak to the school, my nephews school offered counsling when his dad went of the rails and his grandad was sent to prison and a little baby brother arrived 13years younger than him.
Do the scool know what has happened? If they dont and think he is just acting up than that could bring its own problems.
I think maby a visit to the doc could be a good idea too he might have some advice if nothing else.
Good luck

Answer 6

My Daughters were 8 and 13 when thier mum commited suicide, and it is very difficult to percieve the inner traua kids go through. Everyone says kids are extraordinarily resilient, but that isnt really the case. My elder daughter coped with the loss by having a large group of friends who were very caring and listened to her for 2 years, she has coped well. My younger daughter who was approxiamtely the same age as your son hid everything, and in fact almost to a point of denial. In cardiff we have a service called CAMS (child and adolescent Mental Health) My youngest really felt the effects when she reached 13 and realised that her mum wouldnt be around to see her acheive things, became very depresed and had all sorts of touble at school. I wish I had heard of CAMs sooner. See your GP and asked to be recommended,believe me it is best to deal with the grief now than see it fester and cause problems during his teens. Good Luck and wish him well

Answer 7

I am sorry to tell you this but this is the truth as I see it. If he saw your late husband HANG himself , and a year later his own father die of a drug overdose...I can bet my bottom dollar that isn't the only disfunctional behavior he is being exposed to. Drugs? Hanging themselves> What else is he having to deal with? Are you on drugs? Do you drink? Don't blame your child for the heavy burden you have allowed him to have to carry..I think he has seen far more than he needed too...People dont just 'hang' themselves out of the blue, and they don't just o.d. out of the blue on the first time. I am afraid that this little fellow has seen it all and you have allowed it. Please, get yourself right with the Lord Father God and Jesus, and all the answers to your problems will be at your dispose..but do not hesitate...I have a funny feeling you did not protect this lad from the elements. Sorry, that is just what my gut tells me. Sorry if I am wrong.

Answer 8

Poor little boy! My son is 8 and has lost 7 people in the last 8 months, including his beloved nana. He talks constantly about her and gets anxious when people change his routine. All I can do is let him work through it by being consistant and loving him. I'm also honest with him when he says things like "Why did SR put a rope round his neck like SW? Didn't he know he might die?" Its rough but grief fades (NEVER GOES, though!!). Hang on in there, and just love your son. xxx

Answer 9

Your best bet is to take him to your GP and ask them for advice.
Your son has been through a lot and definitely needs some sort of counselling.
Your GP will be able to give you the information you need, and may even refer your son to a counsellor him/herself.
Please do it soon, for his sake as well as your own, grief can be a really destructive force and , left unchecked it will cause a lot of damage. Take it from one who knows.

Answer 10

You need to help yourself first by contacting NA and local medical services – or you may irreparably damage your child’s development. Consciously most children forget those years later in life. However, speech and social learning are critical at that age. If you have trustworthy family I would suggest you allow your child to stay with them while undergoing rehab in another area. As your addiction relapse may be tied to your current circle of friends.

Answer 11

I had the comparable problem, My mothers and fathers separated while i grow to be 5 and he or she remarried while i grow to be 7 i admire your son grow to be at a loss for words as to what to do or experience and it made me indignant. Ask him this "do you have better than one chum, is perplexing to love the two" enable him comprehend that it is like which you have better than one chum and now you have 2 dads. enable him comprehend that there is sufficient space in his heart for them the two and doubtless enable him discover something specific that purely he and his genuine dad do mutually like tenting or fishing, etc. then do the comparable for his step-dad and enable him comprehend that those activities are purely for them. i'm happy to declare that it took until eventually i grow to be 12 to comprehend i ought to love the two devoid of disrespecting the different. i'm 28 now and we even have get togethers with all my mothers and fathers and that they have become stable buddies. stable luck and it will get greater useful.