i and my bf are indian adults. his folks are not ready for our wedding. my bf says if they dont agree we'll die together. is it right. i feel we should get married instead of dying. i feel his folks will accept us once we get married but he says he cant give dem pain. is it right to hurt my parents with no fault of theirs. help guys i am in a big hassle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-28 22:14:37 · 14 answers · asked by new 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i do not want to live without my bf. you people are right maybe he is being mean by asking me to die and leave my innocent folks behind but he loves me i kno and i do love him a lot. we are from diff religion. my folks have agreed now. but his are not ok
2006-08-29 07:36:04 · update #1
India you were not matched together I take it and now his parents don't accept you as you are not their choice , It is a very serious matter in your land I understand and I can see that you love has his hands tied . But cant he see that taking your lives might end this life together but at the same time there is no guarantee that you will find each other in the next life, if that is what he believes . Is it not possible to elope away from his parents and hope that in time they will forgive him for going against their wishes and accept you as a loving daughter and wife to their son . Cant he also see that the loss of their child will almost kill them as well . then there is your parents and family to think of Do they take him as your true love and cant he see the damage he will cause to them as well . Death is not an answer its an even larger question what if you don't find each other after death what if in death his parents cant forgive him and you as well it will be for nothing and that my friend is a waist of 2 loving people and I don't care what religion you are that is the worst sin there is .
2006-08-28 23:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is not able to place you above his parents, this means he does not even fulfill the first condition for a true marriage, which is: man leaves father and mother, makes permanent, exclusive commitment to wife, and then the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6).
In other words, if you marry him, the problems will not stop there, he'll always be running home to Mommy and Daddy and putting them first. It's a good thing you found out about his inability to make a true marriage before rather than after the ceremony.
Show him those verses I mention above. Pray for discernment based on his reaction, and see what he says. Don't marry him until his reaction to those verses is like scales falling off his eyes so that he now feels gloriously free to do whatever he is convinced in his mind to do, until he has decided he is going to hold fast to God and His Word above all else. And you, by the way, do the same :>
2006-08-29 05:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by songkaila 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your BF is selfish.. He has no right to ask you to die together... What kinda world is he living in? If he can't hurt his parents, is it right for him to hurt you even more? I think your BF is spineless.... A man with two ba**s would never be this dumb or silly... He should face his problems in a smarter way... I think you are stronger than him... Yes if you really love him, ask him to marry you and his parents will accept you two for sure... But if you think you can't do that, just dump him... You don't wanna put your self in trouble by marrying a spineless guy like that... You have a right to say "no im not gonna die with you".... If he can't bear the pain, ask him to die alone... I think he's watching too many hindi movies lately... Don't be stupid... There's other fish in the sea...
2006-08-29 05:46:45 · answer #3 · answered by Teejay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it is not good because if u die then u will never be made of another then whats the love for,you both can run away from ur house and can live a separate life somewhere else or get married with out telling ur parents and after marriage tell them then they would not have any other alternative
2006-08-29 05:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by silver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your own decisions! You were not put on this earth to please or obey anyone else! God created you as a individual. I don't even agree with you marrying someone that speaks for you, and says we will die together! Do you want to die? Toughen up girl!! Be who you are supposed to be and that is you!! Get altogether away from this man and his family!! No one can twist your arm and make you get married! If you stay with him, then you will be one controlled woman and very miserable!
2006-08-29 05:26:54 · answer #5 · answered by bckatcha! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are not accepting your bf's wish because maybe, 1, for his age, and 2, they don't know you well.
If you and your bf is like 20 and 21, I think their parents are right. You might need more time to think about marriage.
If you are a good age for marriage, like close to your 30's, they must be happy for their son to have a good girl. If not, you should take time to let your bf's parents to know and understand you.
2006-08-29 05:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously your man is very selfish in thinking that you can die together. I suggest that you talk to him about all of this and tell him how it really makes you feel and look at possible solutions together. Don't be too hasty to make a decision that you will regret for the rest of your life.
2006-08-29 05:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rock Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really dunno wht to say? i m in a similar situation.. i guess its too common in india.. but u ppl didnt give ur age thts very important.. i know how u would be feeling but i'll just say dun lose hope.. keep trying till u succeed.. dont lose faith in ur love.. if its true u guys will be together.. dont think of dying rightnow.. are ur parents against too? if not then think hard before punishing thm for no fault of theirs.. if u really love him then be selfish n go ahead but as of now just think bout how u can live together.. love wins at the end. thts want i believe in.. but cant say much as u havent mentioned how u feel n how many siblings u've got... i m the only child so after sometime i might face pressure at home.. i can relate to u completely... i would just say tell ur guy to have courage to face it all n be together in every situation... best of luck to u guys
2006-08-29 10:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st find out y his folks are oppossing d wedding and 2nd make ur bf undastnd dat by dying he will cause worse pain and disappointment to his beloved folks.
Again, I tink it is risky to marry a guy who obviously is not matured enugh to handle life's ups and downs and is quick to chicken out b4 d journey of life begins. Tink 2ice girl b4 u go on or else u'll ve a big baby dying on u wen u need him d most!
2006-08-29 05:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by rompy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is their objection? Are you guys different caste or something? In the US this wouldn't be a big deal, you would both just say F*** them and get married anyway. But in India it's different, right? I dunno thats a hard question- I would think what caused parents the most pain would be to see their children in such pain........I'm really sorry and good luck - there is most definitely a better answer than suicide- please look for it before you and your bf do something that you won't be around to regret. If he can't cause his parents pain, what does he think his death is going to do to them?
2006-08-29 05:21:53 · answer #10 · answered by niwriffej 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋