How can I go back to the way I was before?

Question

ook I used be a really fun and amusing person but throughout high school, that side of just dropped bcuz i went thru a lot w/ my parents and i had anxiety attacks and personal problems and everyone says i'm rly serious now - but that's not my real personality. i'm a different person than how I act and I don't know what to do....I feel like I have a dual personality and I just want to go back to before because it's not enjoyable being this way! But how can I? It's not easy. I hate my all-girls school and most of my friends I don't plan on talking to after graduation....maybe I just need a change of friends & scenery?

I'm a HS senior now, by the way

Answer 1

I was having the same trouble myself for a while (I'm talking years). You may want to talk to a counselor. I didn't go that route because I didn't want anyone to think I was a "nut" or "going through depression", or whatever. The thing about me was: I just felt out of place. I didn't want to hang out with any of my close friends, I didn't want to be bothered with my parents, relatives, or any kind of work, or the people at work... or, whatever. I just wanted to think, daydream, or sleep. I was boring, miserable, reclusive, and I wasn't sure why.

But then I thought about it and made a list...

What was missing out of my life? Why don't I like dealing with certain people? What did I want? What did I need? What did I want to accomplish? What is it that really makes me happy? What gives me my swagger and confidence?

A lot of times, lack of personal power, confidence, money, or goals make us unhappy. Sometimes trying to please other people before we please ourselves makes us unhappy.

Are you living the life that you want to live? Or... are you forced to live the life that someone else wants you to live?

I wouldn't recommend breaking any rules, doing anything dangerous, or upsetting your parents or friends, but you have to live your own life. You can't let other people make you feel inferior, or shy, or inadequate, or afraid to speak your mind.

But maybe you're not feeling like yourself because you want to be somewhere other than where you are now.

My problem was: I wanted more money, independence, and a loyal companion. But to do it, I had to take chances, stand-up for myself, and not worry about making other people happy before I made myself happy.

I saved a lot, got a better job, met a nice girl where I now work, and I say and do whatever I want no matter how crazy or funny or "off the chain" I seem to be.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should play games with your life - get your education and keep moving up like a True Diva should - but realize that everything you're doing, you're doing for YOURSELF - Not your parents, or friends, or whoever. Make yourself happy first. SAY WHATEVER THE (blank) YOU WANNA SAY, no matter who laughs or doesn't laugh.

If you're such a serious person now, be a cynical and sarcastic person but know how to spread love too. If you want to tell jokes, learn some new ones. Watch some comedy shows. Hang out with people that make you laugh and who will entertain and amuse you (Sometimes a Diva needs a fool or two to make her smile.).

But a change of scenery is sometimes only a quick-fix. Try to change your attitude first. Try to be a success with your work and life, but change your attitude. What are you anxious about? Money? A relationship? Your appearance? Being popular?

Realize what you want and SAVE or SACRIFICE to get it. Don't try to impress other people. Try to impress your SELF.

Love Ya!

Answer 2

First off, you might consider talking to a professional counselor. I am sure if you mentioned this to your personal doc, they might give you a referral or a list of people to call. That said, maybe, while you were dealing with some of the problems that life through at you, you grew up a little bit. Maybe some of those things that were fun for you before seem trivial right now. Instead of looking back and wishing you were in a different place and a different time, you should look forward at the new opportunities that are available to you. You might find a new interest that you never realized and be back on the track to happiness.

Answer 3

This may sound strange or hard to understand to someone your age... teenage years but, throughout your life you are going to find that you will change several times.

Experiences and environment will change you. Sometimes this is for the better and sometimes it isn't. I can literally look back at myself over my life and see different ppl than I am today. When I think about why and what changed, it is all about things that happen to us and how we choose to cope with them.

I, too, am in a transition lately where I don't like what I have become... I have lost a sense of assertiveness that I have had all my life and that makes me feel weak.

Sorry I can't actually answer your question. I have never figured out how to 'go back' or get back qualities that seem to get lost along the way. I wish I knew the answer to that myself.

Answer 4

Hi...I went through exactly the same thing when I was your age. As far as how you can go back to the way you were before? Darlin, you'll never be that same person. You're becoming an adult, and the changes from adolescence to adulthood affect every part of us - mentally, physically, our appearance, our interests, etc.
Try to relax a little, remember you're a great person, and you are close to graduating, and YES, you can move away from those people! That's what I did.
Take some deep breaths, relax, and tell yourself that this is just one phase of life, and it will pass. Because it will.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Everything and everyone in our lives changes us in some way or another. We can do nothing about change except maybe to be prepared for it and learn to deal with change as inevitable and therefore not an issue we need carry around with us. Instead of worrying about it or letting Change stun us into zombies, we should enjoy people and things that come into our lives and remember them fondly when they change and go another direction. Less time being a deer in headlights and more time living..
Blessed Be~

Answer 6

My heart goes out for you. The part of your question, is, of course, is one of the solutions. You are already a thinking girl, trying to resolve your problems yourself. But age is not with you. You definitely need some elder's guidance. In the East, we give so much importance to our family and parents try to patch up for the sake of children. Your society is different; it gives importance to individual's liberty. In the school, if you have any facility for counselling, please do avail of it. You can read book and try to understand the world and ways of men. Devote time for sports for that is a good diversion from mental worries.Have faith in God. That will stand you in good stead. My sincere wishes for your well being.

Answer 7

This problem is not unfamiliar to people your age.. many changes taking place in your life.. with a bit of stress at home, it can become rather complicated. If you contact me I will send you a couple articles which may give you considerable insight into yourself. Allowing a greater understanding of why things are taking place as they are..

Answer 8

If you can stick it out until you graduate you can make a complete change and never have to worry about your past. This includes your friends from school.

Answer 9

You need to find the root cause of this before you can fix it. So, deal with the issues of your parents and come to terms with that then you will see the other things return to normal.

Answer 10

you have probably been under a lot of stress with family and school. Don't take yourself so seriously. a change of scenery might help but where ever you go you take yourself with you.