do you believe spanking a child makes the child abusive when they get older?

Question

even if theres no abuse in the home.if it's just done for discipline,and

forget the and at the end

Answer 1

Most of the kids I see that have NO concept of discipline, NO home training, don't know how to listen to their parents or ANY adult figure, are these AP "parented", "mommy and daddy are my bestest friend and let us run the entire house and only give us time outs by the minute based on our age", kids.

In my sons Kindergarden class, I have gottne to know some of the parents. Just from casual obsevation and their admittance, I know what parent uses what discipline method. For the record so far, already one child has been in trouble for hitting other kids. His mom does not spank him. The kids who get spankings at home usually snap into action when the teacher tells the class to "be quiet" or "sit in your seats". The AP crew throw hissy fits when things don't go their way, and distract the class form instruction. Just my observation.

I was whooped as a kid, and I only got my spankings when I did something extreme. It was not an everyday thing, or an every week thing. When I disobeyed, I got my tail whooped. Simple as that. I never had disciplinary issues in school, I never hit my peers. I never played rough or violent games. If this was true, most ALL of us kids of the past generations would be incarcerated adults with assault and battery charges out the yin yang.

I guarantee you if you get a REAL unbiased study going to research this phenomena, you will likey see the trend I have noticed just by observing my sons kindergarden class: Kids who get spankings generally behave better than non-spanked kids. Kids need a parent to GUIDE them, and discipline them, not be their playmate all the time. My neighbor is down with that AP stuff, and tell me why her 3 year old son can be counted on to burst in my door, unannounced, and just come into my kitchen and help himself to whatever he wants in my fridge, my sons toys in his room, and all this is while I'm standing there calling his name and saying "stop!". I don't touch other people's kids, so I have to leave my home, go get his mother, and have her escort his hellian behind home. Almost daily. And you know what? HE KEEPS DOING IT BECAUSE THE MOTHER FINDS THE BEHAVIOR AMUSING!! She laughs about it and though she tells me "sorry", she hugs him and doesn't even firmly instruct him that this is a no-go!! He is a sound 3 year old, no mental issues. Just NO discipline. If he was handicapped, I would understand. But I do not get why this woman doesn't tap his behind good one time to make him realize this is wrong, you don't break into people's homes. Suppose it was not me? Suppose ot was the home of some child molester?? Jesus tap dancing Christ, Dr. Sears needs to be jailed witout parole, and his fingers need to be bound so he cannot write anymore genius works on "raising perfect children".

My synopsis is NO. It does not. If I was abusive, my kids would be abused, and they are not. I am an even tempered person, and I have spanked my 6 year old. However, it's been so long since I last had to resort to a spanking because he has learned basic right from wrong. Taking games and bikes away is more effective now. People get their heart on their sleeve over this issue, but for most parents who spank, spanking is not the sole method of discipline. It is a last resort in my home. I also feel it's useless after kids start getting attached to friends, gadgets, and free time. Taking liberties away is more effective after age 6, in my opinion, but a spanking drives the lesson home more if the offense was serious enough.

My son is a gentle, caring but admittedly mischevious boy. I think I have done a damn good job. Damn better than most people who think discipline=abuse. Get the fudge outta here.

Answer 2

There is a fine line between a spanking and being abusive. One must always be very alert to what they are doing and why.

Personally I believe that any type of punishment where there is physical contact is a form of abuse. Parents usually use the reasoning that they love their child and this is how to show it and then they punish the child again when the child "spanks" another child.

Children mimic what they see, what the hear and what they experience. This is how they learn.... right from wrong.

I think that it is possible for a child to grow to be abusive from spankings only because I believe that spankings are a form of control and abuse.

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As long as you love your child and are always making decisions based on their best interest ... you will do fine. No parent is perfect and we all make mistakes. It is how you learn from each one that makes you a good parent!


I am a single mom with 3 sons who are now 16, 14 and 10 years of age. Parenting is the hardest job one person will ever have in their lifetime, most rewarding as well ~ Enjoy each and every passing moment!

Take care! :-)

Answer 3

Nope, they wont, unless they were abused or they were not disciplined properly when they were little.
Kids will hit, bite, throw and push...even if theyve never been spanked. Where did they learn that? To spank a child for hitting another child proves useless...I think that's the problem.
When my kids ever did such a thing as bite or hit...I gave the one who was hurt the attention and a treat and frowned at the other who was removed from play for a time. In lieu of 'hitting gets attention'.

Spanking is completely different from verbal or physical abuse.
I spanked mine one time. I made a real big deal about it ahead of time for drama then gave a couple of swats and took their tv away for a month...explained why and I never had to do it again. Dont act remorseful or they will think youve done something wrong. Do that when the kids are real little and afterwards, all you have to do is mention spanking a couple times after that while theyre in the midst of mischief. Mine are 10 and 12 now and Ive never even had to send them to their room! They are the nicest kids and very nice to each other.

Answer 4

No. Spanking your children does not make them abusive as adults.
Never spank a child in anger.
Always tell a child what you expect them to do and consequences for not doing so.

I have seen a family raise a great child without spanking the child ever.
She was a stay at home mom and they had only one child.
They were both college educated and really put a lot into their lives into their child.

Mostly I see parents who want to be “buddies” with their children and don’t want to be “cruel”. A neighbor with this dogma for raising children once called the police on me for spanking my child’s bum; I did it in the front yard, over her clothes.

That same child has graduated college and now is a mother who swats. Oddly my neighbor’s child was allowed freedom to be a child and now is lacking it as he is now in prison for dealing drugs.

Spare the rod and spoil the child….

But

Don’t provoke your child to anger…

Properly disciplined children know why they were spanked, know it is because you love them, and usually after five years old, you never have to do it again. You might threaten it in latter years, but it never was needed in our home.

Answer 5

No, spanking the child does not make the child abusive when the get older. Even if a child was abused, it doesn't mean that he/she will grow up and become abusive.

Answer 6

corporal punishment teaches a kid that there are immediate and painful consequences for misbehavior. for children under 4 who cannot understand a time out and need to be immediately corrected, one swat will do. not on the kid's face. for 5-12 kids, grounding or time out will be more productive in encouraging good behavior and discouraging bad behavior. or you could put them on their face for a set of push ups. when kids become teenagers and begin testing their boundaries it is sometimes necessary to physically put the kid in its place. at this point it is more productive if the man in the house does it. teenage sons aren't afraid of a spanking from mom, but a boxing match with dad will re-establish order. Children who are not taught that destructive and disobedient behavior bring immediate pain will tend to engage in destructive behavior as adults. they will be impatient with other people. they will be self centered and abusive, because they have never had any painful lessons on what happens when they disregard the rules. they have never felt what it is like to get hurt, so they may even enjoy others pain.

Answer 7

spanking is fine, if you tell the child what the spanking is for. if spanking doesn't work, find another method of discipline such as taking away a favorite activity, or toy until the bad behavior improves. they will get the message either way that you are displeased with their behavior and know the consequences of bad behavior and praise them for good behavior.

Answer 8

When you spank your child, make sure you tell him or her why you're doing it and what not to do for it not to happen to him again. It should be use in a form of disciplining the child, not purposely hitting your child because you're mad or simply trigger happy with spanking.

Good luck raising your child.

Answer 9

We use spanking only when our daughter has clearly disobeyed us. We feel that as long as it is done in love and she knows that we love her and we want what is best for her it is okay. Both me and my husband were spanked as childrena nd we turned out just fine. Just keep reminding your child that you love her unconditionally. Try to focus more on her good behavior and give lots of praise.

Answer 10

spanking is something you do for a child, not to a child.it should be done properly, and never in anger. Discipline gives a child a sense of security that you love them and that you are in control.