Is having a 13 year age gap considered too high?

Question

I'm 30, he's 43. I am pretty mature for my age and he looks like he's my age. We have a fantastic time together, and never fight. When we are together, its as we forget the world is even there. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with us. I guess I feel a bit insecure about our age difference. I feel like he may crave someone older, who has more experience. Am I just overeacting here? Does this have long term potential, and will our age ever get in the way?

Answer 1

This is a common question and usually it's more about WHERE both people are in their lives, their maturity level, how well their values match, how well the expectations are set forth, etc. than the age gap. Now a 20 year old and a 33 year old, I would rather they wait at least 5 years so they know without a doubt that they are doing the right thing.

But 30 and 43? If everything else clicks then you don't have nothing to worry about. I've seen some of the happiest couples with wider age gaps. The most important thing is are you both happy and are you both great communicators.

Now, the downside to an age gap is that statisically he will probably pass on before you do. If you two do decide to take things to the next level and get married make sure you both plan for it, meaning you both have solid retirement planning (such as having life insurance, investments, etc.).

So yes, you are over reacting, it can have long term potential and I don't think age will get in the way. I rountinely date women 12 years younger than me but I also have dated women 10-12 years older than me. Sometimes I end up dating a really immature person and that doens't last long or I'll end up dating someone who wants to get serious right away. And guess what? They've both been from both younger and older women.

It all depends on the individual. I think you're OK. Enjoy it!

Rod Cortez

Answer 2

It will only get in the way if you allow it to. It is not like you are 20 & he's 33 - you have been out there a while to know who you are and what you want. I am 11 yrs older than my husband and we have been married 10 1/2 yrs. He has been the best man for me in my life...age doesn't matter....people do! Enjoy the fact that you have met someone who you get along with magnificantly!

Answer 3

girl!!! looks like you two are perfect/made for each other...congratulaions!!! keep it up!!!! not many can be put into both of yer shoes...pls dont feel the insecure, bcoz my dad was 32 yr old when he married my mom when she was 18 yr that timeand all going good, no worries or tension arising bcoz of age barrier...and i think that yer insecure feeling that had turned into something dark feeling which is called overeacting, which is perfectly normal, do not feel sad or feel insecure and certainly yer age thingy. in the mean time carry on what you guys doing, maybe enhance on sexual relationships, more romance, caring, sharing, give and take and listen to one an other and always be there for each other, this is just a few tips i am sharing with you based on my parets 14 years of age difference and which is still lasting today and will go on until the last of either my dads of moms breath. your relationship with yer hubby is something like what my parents are havin'......dont worry, girl!! you will be fine...

Answer 4

Go for it. My aunt and uncle are 12 years apart and are great together. Hes 50 and has a baby on the way. I'd be more embarrassed if you were dating someone younger. However, I don't go for those marriages where the guy is like 60 and has grown up kids and grandkids and he marries/dates a 20 year old. You know shes just after money. Those relationships are terrible and no love is involved. You go for it!!!

Answer 5

Oh, c'mon why would he crave someone older. If everything's great, why would he?

You might ask yourself what are YOUR worries about it, rather than guessing what his worries might be.

In general, guys like younger girls.

My uncle is married to a woman who's 18 years younger than him, and they are happily together for 15 years. When they just got together, all relatives were hissing at him that she's way too young and there is now way this will last. Apparently, they were mistaken.

Answer 6

I would describe it in only one word, " PERFECT " !!!
Ur a lucky girl & u will have a very happy life with this guy & the chance is 99% because guys at this age have everything a woman would need & wish for. Wise, responsible, expierenced, wants to settle down, would be a reat Dad & husband,understanding, faithfull, knows how to behave & treat a woman & acomplished, among many other things .
Go for him & don't care if others tell u not to !!!

Answer 7

I do not know if it is considered to high. I can tell you that my wife is 17 years older than I, we have one son 27 years old and we have been married 28 years. Now you tell me if it is too old. It strictly depends upon the people involved in the relationship. Nothing more nothing less.

Answer 8

NO, NO and NO! Nothing wrong at all! I have a crush on an older man too, but the age difference is much more than that. I (we) havent decided what to do about it yet though (he likes me too).

Answer 9

No way. Not when you are both adults don't stress about it. My husband is 16 years older than me. He is the greatest we just celebrated our five year anniversary. If you two care about each other why let something as insignificant as an age difference ruin it.

Answer 10

in my experience, if two people are of the same maturation level and have similar interests (excluding gold diggers) then the relationship that forms will be fine. Age doesn't matter but if your insecurities are affecting your relationship, maybe you could ask him what he thinks about it.