i do have bad anxiety and mood dips have had most of my life, i live with the worry and fear of my mum passing

Question

on and leavin me. my mum is the closest one to me in this world, ive been very close to her al my life. and in my time of mental crisis theres been no one else except her, to comfort and reassure me. shes in her 50s now and i no theres goin to come a point that shes goin to pass on and leave me, and im absolutley terrified about this and what i'll do..i dont think i could cope in this world without her, im 29, im lonely, dont have a girlfriend, i live alone in a bad neighborr hood. and i want to be in a better time and place i dont like where i live now, i dont feel at peace, but moving takes time. to be in nice quiet surroundings with a partner who loved me would help my mental agony and low moods and anxiety. but you have to have money to live in a nice area..and ive never worked and am on benefits. so i think its going to immensley difficult to reach my goals....when i get upset and tell my mum my fears of her passing an everything else. she tells me please dont worry because it ups

she says dont worry because it upsets her greatly and by the time she comes to leave me hopefully ill have a partner by myside and ill be stronger...but i still worry about all this...

Answer 1

I would suggest that you see a therapist and probably a psychiatrist as well. Medication will probably help the anxiety and mood swings. The other thing you might want to do is join some type of social club. You can usually find these advertised on the calender pages of the newspaper. If you make more friends you will probably feel less anxious about you mum passing away.

Answer 2

you have to realise that is part of life's circle, we all have to face it at some point. Dont let the time you do have together be wasted worrying about time when you're not. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

As for being in a nice area, you have to make it what you will, if you dont like where you are, by the sound of it you have nothing to lose by at least trying a new town. Moving doesnt take as long as you think, unless you procrastinate, that's when you can get into trouble.

Just try it out, take your mum with you if you want. If you're lonely, when you get to your new town, go straight to a local social club and introduce yourself, if you dont try, you'll never know, and then you'll regret not doing it forever, which is not what you need!!

hope that helps = D

good luck and best wishes, you'll be fine!!!!

Answer 3

Dear Heart, I understand how you feel. I lost my Mom two and a half years ago, and I still find myself reaching for the phone to call her about my latest success or failure. What I am saying is that your feelings are valid. Not that you're going to lose your Mum anytime soon, God forbid, but it is some thing we struggle with. Have you sought counselling? I suffer from chronic clinical depression and anxiety, and I know how hard it is to cope without help. Besides getting your meds, you need a good therapist to help you over the rough spots that medication doesn't touch. Most states have some sort of assistance these days for people who struggle with mental illness. Yes, I called it mental illness. Not politically correct, is it? But since when did denying the truth ever help? I tell people , "Yes, I'm crazy, and I have the paperwork to prove it!" Seriously, though a good therapist is almost as essential to depressives as oxygen, and a good christian therapist is worth his or her weight in frankencense and myrrh! If you are not getting help, please, please start now. I hate to see anyone suffer needlessly, and I know how bad this suffering is. You need not bear your burden alone. And if, along the way, you come in contact with the One Who has helped me so much, I know both you and your Mum will make it just fine. As to your lonliness, I can vouch for the fact that depressives don't exactly draw crowds of admirers. Try to get into a support group. You probably won't meet the love of your life there, but it is a good way to learn to interact with others who understand what you are going through. And it's nice to feel ordinary sometimes, and let's face it; there aren't a whole lot of places we CAN feel ordinary! Moving, finding a better neighborhood, all that will come with time. The first thing you have to do is be able to get out the front door. And that's a lot harder for us than 'normal' people realize. Good luck, and God bless!

Answer 4

If I read this right, you're subject to anxiety disorder, possibly bipolar, obsessive-compulsive personality. You're receiving benefits and have never worked. OK, what are YOU going to do about it? What are your benefits for? Can you get professional help for any of the problems you face? Mums love us as we are, but they seldom outlive us, and they're not always the best source of help. Accept the fact that your mum will probably last only another 20 or so years, so you have to get yourself under control so she can be at peace that you're ready to take on life in the best possible way. If you qualify for help from a free clinic, use it. A behavioral psychologist and a psychiatrist would be ideal, the psychiatrist to treat the bipolar, and the behaviorist to help you develop ways to handle the anxiety and compulsions. Do volunteer work at any place appropriate to your condition--there's always someone who needs more help than you, and you'll find out that you're contributing a valuable service to your community. Your neighborhood may improve as you get to know the neighbors better--it often does. As people get to know you, some will feel a need to hook you up with someone they know, or even may want to get to know you better. You'll have a better chance of meeting that someone special. Notice one thing about this, I never said it would be easy. It's not, but it's necessary, and you know it because you recognize that your life has to change. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

Very Good,you have taken the first step to helping yourself,by speaking out and telling someone about this.I have a simular concern although I do not live with my mom but I do worry alot about her.I agree with all the other answers,and believe the best thing to do would be to [a.] see a doctor maybe you should be on something like paxil[b.]go to a local church and be a participating member,get involved in activities there,such as dinners and socials.Let folks know you are alive.Talk more to friends at church,and always talk to the pastor there and let him counsel with you.[c.]Don't worry so much about your mom,she is still young,it will be a while before she goes.Justget yourself busy and enjoy your time with her.peace and good luck!

Answer 6

I have been there. My mother has all but disowned me now and she will soon I'm sure but I don't let that bother me. I am well aware that coming to this point of indifference in no easy task. It took me 3 years and some therapy. I learned that in the end, it is not my choice or responsibility to get them to accept what is. I also learned that, faced with the threat that their child will leave, mothers will go to nearly any length to keep their child close, even threating them. There is not much you can do at the moment because you are in a vulnerable position at home. But once you can leave you may want to move to a bigger city. I know that Mexico city recently started allowing gay marriage or civil unions; I forget which.

Answer 7

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 8

if you really want to get out of your mental mind set, you are really going to want to do it. you have to put words into actions and take the steps needed to make yourself happy and get over these things. i suggest that you first come to terms with your mothers passing. death is an inevitable part of life and there is nothing we can do to stop. the only thing we can do is live it it to the fullest no matter what.
then get a job and save your money. also have in mind the exact kind of area you want to live in and around the amount of money you are going to need to live there. and with a new job, you can meet people. meeting people leads to making friends. making friends leads to meeting more people. and you can't know too many people.
then, know what you want in a significant other or a friend. and choose women who have the things that you want in a friend/significant other. build a relationship and you can be happy.
remember tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning, another chance at life. take that chance and do something for yourself and for your happiness.

Answer 9

It would probably help if your mom assured you she's not afraid of her own death. I too struggle with the thought of losing loved ones. It's only because you're so dependant on her being there for you and your love for her is so immense. You have to start living for yourself; dont mean to sound harsh but get a life (I mean that in a good way) I sympathise with you b/c I know how it feels. Just ask her to reassure you that she knows death is inevitable and she is okay with that. That's what my parents did for me; and it helps.

Answer 10

when ppl have jesus in their hearts their loved ones wont have to worry about them dieing. my uncle mark just died at the age of 45. theres a hole in my heart and i cry a lot. but ill be ok, just like his wife and 3 children will bebecause we all kno that we r gonna see him in heaven somday. i really think that if u dont already have a relationship with God then you should talk to a local pastor or something. then you can give ur anxiety to him