I can't stop thinking about him...?

Question

we have been apart for 8 months..he has moved on..and I haven't. I can't get the love making with him off of my mind, or the what we could've been and the I still love him blues..thing is he has done nothing but mess up royally since we've been apart..we still conversate and argue about the past..but my God I just want for him to take me into his arms and love me..

I just wish I could stop these feelings and move on..I know that it takes time but Damn! how much time? tell me besides another relationship, what can I do to get past this?

Answer 1

How long were you with this guy. I think for everyday you were with him is how long it fully takes to get over him... maybe longer. Keep yourself busy, make some new friends so you have new memories. I know it doesnot erase the old thoughts going through your mind, but it might help.
I know this will be hard, but you have to stop talking to him FOR NOW, or you will just start those feelings up everytime you hear his voice or hear anything about him. AT LEAST for now. Doesnot have to mean forever. If you give it some space, it will make him miss you more. He wont miss you if you are arguing no matter whose fault it really is.
Stay busy, take up a sport at a local community college, you will make new friends and get in better shape at the same time. Don't speak with him for awhile... You can talk later, when you are feeling better, and he will see this confident, sexier girl and think. how he is missing out.

Answer 2

Look, I'm not a professional at this. It's just I had a similar experiance. We were together for 3 years then he moved on. He had a new girlfirend. I don't know if your guy is the same.
If he doesn't want you, you can't force it. That hurts but god, I learned it the hard way. Running after him or stalking hi, calling him or sobbing over does not work. (I tired).
Don't try to move on to a new relationship if you are still feeling down over this...when the time is right, you'll know. Until then, what I did was distract myself. Laugh. Get together with your friends (gals) and go clubbing, take up a radical hobby. Best is to do something you know he'd disapprove of and show him you're having whale of a time without him. Show him you can stand on your own feet and be independant. You'll eventually find out you don't need him to move on. Not much help there but I saw this question and reminded me so much of me.

Answer 3

I figure takes 1/3 of a relationship to stop thinking about the other person every day. So, if you dated for 3 years, will take a year to start getting over him. You are thinking about him in an "Ideal" light. Yes, you miss him, but you mostly miss the relationship and feel some sense of failure since it did not come out as you had hoped. You wanted the perfect relationship with someone but he is not the one, just the most recent one, so keep trying ro find the right one and the right relationship will follow. Try to fantasize about someone else. Someone you know or just a movie star or other personality. It will help you take your mind off him as the "only one" and then you will be able to move on some. Also, try to change your location or, at least, daily rituals some to establish new, "Only you" memories. Then, you will refocus also on what is important right now, which is mending your broken heart, not trying to get someone to be your ideal mate that isn't. When you find the right one, they will hold on as tight to you as you to them. Hope the right one comes along really soon :).

Answer 4

I understand how you may be feeling. Being so close to someone like that and then bang it's over. I myself can't even count how many times I had my heart broken in the past. But it does ache very much. All I can tell you is take it each day and keep yourself busy. Don't communicate with him anymore that may be why you can't start the process in forgetting him. Cut the string completely. Tell yourself that he lost a good woman. He will eventually realize he lost a good person. Why don't you give yourself a makeover and when he does ever see you he will know you moved on and that you not pining over him. You said yourself he's moved on well it' your time to move on too. It will take some time to get over him but that time will come. You won't be hurting forever. I feel for you because I know sweetie what your feeling at this very moment. You are going to be OK! Believe me I know!

Answer 5

I am going through the same thing and damn it's hard. It is almost impossible for anyone to say anything to make you feel better right now too because it is so cliche!!! The only thing to do is get through it one day at a time. The easiest thing I have found so far is to make a list of everything that went wrong with your relationship and everything you didn't like about him and what he did. Every time you miss him, read the list. It will make you realize what you DON'T want out of a relationship. Then make a list of everything you DO want and deserve out of your next relationship. I know how it feels to try and get over someone...especially when it consumes your life and you just can't stop thinking about it. Time will help...although it won't cure. Ask your friends to keep you busy too because if you are busy with them you won't be sitting at home wallowing in your misery. It will pass eventually and your heart will heal although it probably doesn't feel like it right now. Stay strong! Good luck.

Answer 6

you still conversate that a good thing arguing about the past is not a good thing let the past go you can tell that you still love him and for him messing up every since you 2 broke up there is till something there whet ever it is it in both of your systems don't over look that ok love just don't go away like that sorry 2 say. don't argue with him nobody likes to argue. the past will always be their but love out ways the past that how you no its LOVE

Answer 7

Sweetheart you are not alone. My marriage of 27yrs just ended the same way.. I have been in the dumps along time too. I have found it helpful to get with the girls and just male bash awhile. Yes I know all men arent louses but it helps to just call them all rats and scoundrels if only until you get over your jackal.
After a little while....you have to give it time but you also have to distance yourself from him after a time youll see it was for the best because you are worthy of a better relationship than this one and Im sure you will find one or he will find you either way dont fret the small stuff just think of the good times your going to have when mr right comes along you didnt need mr right for right now.

Answer 8

I left my second husband 3 years ago last month.I loved him with all my heart,but it was a toxic relationship.He drank far too much and was abusive.No matter how many times he said he would stop,he never did.I also had this gut feeling he was cheating,plus his son would tell of "people he met with".I left him and moved 1201 miles back home.I cried for a long time and could not believe I could break my own heart.But I got past it,and my life is better for it.It is not easy to let go of the one who you feel was your soul mate,but you can do it.What you need to do is break completely away from him.I am glad I was so far away or I would probably of gone back to him.It took me completely leaving,without seeing him to get over him.I use to have to hear his voice every single day,even though we were so far apart.Finally one day I said,I'm done,it is time to move on with my life.So remove yourself from his presence and do not call him.

Answer 9

Get involved in community projects in your local neighborhood, work longer hours, and go out with friends. Donate your time to local charities. Now with the holidays coming up, non-profit organizations are looking for young people's help in Thanksgiving and Christmas.

You will feel better about yourself and I'm sure you will meet someone way better. The more you socialize outside your house the more you will start forgetting about him.

Answer 10

That sounds like me but it didn't take me that long. You occupy yourself with hobbies, take a cooking class, write in a journal, and realize you have to let go. If he wanted to be with you he would. If your a good woman and he's such a sleaze; your not compatible. Wait for someone that makes your spirit happy.