I dont want to give up sex but I still want to be a Christian!?

Question

This is going to make a lot of people mad but i better ask it. -_-;
I dont want to give up having sex. I've lost my virginity when I was 18 but I didn't have vaginal intercourse. I dont' believe it's "wrong" and that God said for us to wait until marriage to have sex to prevent "baby momma drama" if you know what i mean.
Please enlighten me with advice or even some scriptures :)

Well okay, I also want to make my boyfriend happy. We've originally agreed to wait until marriage but over time we've wanted to take that next step. We've been in a long distance relationship for a year and he's been so good to me. And he also respects my faith in God and he himself is even interested in God. I love him so much and I want to be there for him no matter what may happen.
I understand that intimate relationships cause more scars...I've gotten the share of them. I turn to God to help me heal and love again...maybe I'm being hypocritical...

Answer 1

What is your focus? Are you focusing on sex or focusing on God? He knows our desires, temptations and struggles, but we can't overcome temptation by focusing on it. If you focus on the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart--but by seeking His will instead of your own, your desires may change, definitely for the better. I've been there. I know. Drop me a line at [e-mail] if I can help in any way.

Answer 2

Use protection. You don't want to catch diseases or have unwanted children. As long as you are being responsible with your body and your heart, and you are not harming anyone, do what makes you happy. I personally am a big fan of monogamy though. (You have sex more often, and it keeps getting better.)

In the OT, there are verses about if a woman is raped in the city and no one hears her scream, then she should be stoned to death. Other verses say that only if a couple is caught having sex before marriage that they will have to marry, and that's it. The NT says that it's better to get married and have sex than be all sinful. The problem is that the Christian Bible had many authors, so not all of the views as exactly the same.

Answer 3

Girl, you've got some conflicting ideas there. It sounds like you're letting someone else live your life for you.

1) Christians don't give up sex. They just do it when they're married...and before...and after they're divorced...and with their second spouse...do you get what I'm saying?

2) Who cares about people you'd make mad by asking a question?? If you weren't a Christian I'd say "F--- 'em."

3) If you didn't have vaginal intercourse, you didn't lose your virginity. I don't even know what you're talking about. Having an intact hymen = being a virgin. Never having a penis in your vagina = being a virgin.

4) Did God say to wait for marriage, or was it some influential guy thousands of years ago who was afraid his daughter would have a kid that he would have to raise because the baby's dad didn't stick around?

5) Only you can enlighten you.

"It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission." --Unknown

Answer 4

Your still a virgin if the intercourse was not vaginal.

Im assuming that by 'losing your virginity' you mean anal sex - be careful with this not only is it going to loosen up you anal hole (when you fart you might follow through!) but a fissure can easily be infected by the germs not to mention that unless your bloke is using a condom he also is at risk from infection.

Sorry for the health rant but its very important to protect yourself. I admit that abstinence is the best way to prevent pregenancy but there are birth control measures out there that are almost but not quite 100% effective.

At the age you are at, it is entirely your choice wheter or not to have sex, no-one else can tell you what to do with your body. You may find that some people on here think its a sin, but if you think that you are physically, mentally and religiously ready to have intercourse, by all means your an adult and allowed to make that choice.

We all make different choices in life, good and bad, but ultimately it is you who makes it, do not let other peoples opinions make it for you.

But please potect yourself....

Answer 5

Mathew 5:32. 1 Corinthians 5:1. 6:18. 7:2. Jude 1:7 kjv
biblegateway.com for bible search

Ezekiel 23:11, revelations17:3 message translation
fornication is sex out side of marriage adultery committed by married partners

Answer 6

Accept Christ into your heart as your personal savior. Give your life to him. Then follow him and grow in your faith. You will have to give up sex for a while but as you are growing in your faith you are praying and asking God to bring you a husband who is a committed christian and in his time he will. At least that way when you find your husband it is not by means of random chance. It's a divine appointment. It's God bringing that person to you. I saw a study by a think tank in Washington D.C. that specializes in marraige. They were trying to determine how many people in marraige were really happy. They said that of every 100 people 60 were not happy because the divorce rate is 60%.People just don't get divorced if they are happy. They said that of the other 40, about 28 were also unhappy but they were staying in marraige because of the kids or financial security or emotional insecurity or other reasons. That's the state of marriage today. They said only about 12% were really happy. That's because of the way people find their mates today, by random chance, kind of a wine testing party. Try everybody till you find one that you like. That's exactly what you're doing.
That type of life has severe consequences. When I was in high school I was taught that if you have a divorce don't worry about it. You've learned a lot about marraige even though it failed the first time. Practice makes perfect. The next time around you'll be much better prepared to succeed. How many businessmen who failed 4 or 5 times in business only to eventually become a millionaire or so I was told in high school. I always believed that as much as I believed anything. It just made sense to me. Practice does make perfect. I accepted that answer until I was in my mid 30's. Then I started looking at the divorce statistics. According to that view the divorce rate should go down with each new marraige that you have because you've had all that experience before. But the statistics didn't back that up. If you've never been married your first marraige has a 60% chance of divorce. If you've been divorced once your chance of a divorce in your 2nd marraige goes up(not down) to 70%. If you've been divorced twice you're chances of a divorce in your 3rd marraige goes up to 80%. I just couldn't understand why that would be. At work, on my route I had a bunch of psychiatrists that I delivered to. So I started asking them. They all told me the same thing. Yes, you do learn a lot from being married and that is a positive. But the negatives are far greater. When you have a sexual relationship with a person either in marraige or unmarried and you give your whole body and soul to that person and then it doesn't work and it breaks up you carry so much anger and bitterness inside of you that you just bring that into the next relationship and ruin it. When you've been through enough of those relationships you just get to the point where it's just too painful to give yourself anymore so you don't and you just become a person who no longer can love anybody. You're hurting yourself by all these sexual relationships. Totally turn your life over to Christ. Find yourself a church that teaches the word verse by verse so you can grow(I recommend any Calvary Chapel). Get involved in smaller groups at the church where you will find committed christian friends who can help you to grow. Serve the Lord and pray for your soul-mate and the Lord will bring you someone in his own time that will last you for a lifetime.
If you think I'm kidding just look at all your friends and relatives who are 45 and older. How many times have they been married and do you know for sure they are happy today. Studies say that most of them are just like roommates who live under the same roof together but have little feeling for each other anymore. Give up the wine tasting lifestyle and let God bring you someone.

Answer 7

Why are you asking this question on the internet?????? if you are serious about what you speak of dont you think you woyuld go and talk to a pastor or rabbi or priest or something? Embarrased abotuthat, well then you are saying to yourself that it is wrong, would you have aproblem asking the spriritual leader about eating a double dekker sandwich? of course not, so the fact that you would even sak this question means you believe it is wrong. second, why why why why why why why why why why why why ask this on the internet????????? ask a real live person, go to church and ask them why not a bunch of internet geeks that answer questions all night and day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

"Love one another as I have loved you."

The sexual experience is very bonding and I think that Christ was more concerned with sex (or anything else) detracting from, or becoming more important than, one's relationship with God. He forgave Mary Magdaline. So long as it is not an obsession and it does not interfere with your realtionship with God, I would think you are OK. Those that will condemn you here have their own issues that they should be working on with God instead of creating issues for others.

Answer 9

Oh dear.

Well, it's not just about having a baby out of wedlock - (remember, babies are a blessing) it's about forming a bond with your husband. Look into blood covenants. There's a great Christian sex site - http://www.themarriagebed.org that has a lot of this information on it.

And - if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you're a still a virgin.

Answer 10

This is tricky, and you should ask your priest/pastor. Sex is something that can be a distraction from God. It is also something that brings life into the world. Whatever you decide, I think you should be fair to your potential unborn children, yourself, and most importantly, to God.

Peace,
-Eric