Why does my mom think its wrong that i dont want to pick up my sister for her?

Question

My mom works two parttime jobs and has weekends off. She doesn't go to school and would make good money without the second job she has the next town over. Without even considering to rearrange her own scedule, she EXPECTS me to arrange MY schedule of work, college, and studying time, and free time around picking up my sister from school in the frickin middle of the afternoon! Also, I am expected to cook my picky sister whatever food she may want and if I don't make it quickly enough she tells me I'm "too slow". I feel like her abused surrogate mother! I get so irriated with my mom and sister I'm ready to knock one of them out. I've talked to them about the situation but they don't seem to give a flying s*** and think I'm being an inconsiderate, selfish sister/daughter. All of my friends thinks its unfair but my family believes its fair because I should be willing to help out when i dont pay rent or bills at home. Am I being selfish? Please enlighten me.

Answer 1

Doesn't sound like a good situation. I think your mother is tired of the responsibility of taking care of everything and would like a little help. Why not pick up your sister but make her help you cook? It is time the brat takes on some responsibilities too!

Answer 2

If you really don't want to, you don't have to. But it'd just be nice and make everyone's life simpler if you were to. That by no means implies an obligation that you must. It's only sweet if you do it by your own good own personal will. What's happening here is you're not verbalizing your assertiveness until the last moment. That's not your fault. You didn't know any better. Don't focus on whether or not it was selfish. Your past actions don't have to jurisdict your future ones. People Can change. If you live your life only for yourself, it's not going to be a good one. You get what you put in the ground. It's a known principle. If you live your life for others, you'll bet there'll be more out there for you. You ever notice what happens to the kids whose parents say, "Do as I say, Not what I do"?. People learn by seeing. Becoming a leader and a better person doesn't have to be your objective. You'll be more kind and accepting to your siblings, and it will not only make them think better of you and more patient, but it will also make you realize how doing those types of things for all people will give the same results. It even turns the most grumpy and unpleasant of people a little more pliable. Simply spoken. Don't concern yourself with the details of the requests. There are people in Africa and Southeast Asia and the like who are very unfortunate and they deal with mindblowingly tedious and unfortunate tasks, and often have to do these until they die at 22. You'll be out of the house in a few years. And Your sister will grow and get a car. you must realize this is your life. And you get what you give back. After you think about this, You'll make the right decision.

Answer 3

No, you are not selfish. This is a very difficult situation, which everyone expects one person to take responsibility for other. And they make you sound selfish when you are not. Sounds like negotiating is not one of your mother's vocabulary, right? I have the same experience before. Tell your mother that you want a deal, like picking up your sister for like two weeks and then your parent take a turn to do the same and so on. You have a life and you are not in a right position to take care of her kid. If it does not work out, you have to find a new place and move out. This way you don't have to deal with your family.

Answer 4

Friend, parents usually do a lot more for their offsprings than anyone else in this world. Many of the things they do is not even know to us. Apart from bearing the material expenses they also protect/advise us and in the long run we will only have them to fall back on. Take up the work of helping her cheerfully. Enjoy the time spent with your sister/mother instead of whinning. Later on in life if you have a rough patch, the same sister and mum will help go through it smoothly. After all, life is "give and take".

Answer 5

How old is your sis? If she is old enough, she can ride the bus home from school, like I did. Or perhaps join an after school group/ activity. Your mother should respect that you too have to work, plus go to school. Just make your sis mac n cheese, or a sandwich. If she wants something better, tell her she'll either have to wait til 'mother' gets home, or learn to make her own food. I made my own dinner ( a lot of nights) since I was 10 yrs old.
As an older sister myself, it was sometimes expected for me to cook, clean and look after my sis. Out of respect for my mother, I did it. But then again, I wasn't in college or working at the time. (my sis and I were still in school)

Let your mom know how you feel, make some sort of compromise. You can look after your sis on these days, but other days you can't b/c of school, study time, labs, work etc.

Answer 6

If you're living at home and not paying rent then you have to do something to help out, and it looks like the something is picking up the sister. But your sister sounds like a brat maybe she could use a couple smacks.
It's because of a situation like yours I joined the Army when I was 18. They had less rules than my folks.

Answer 7

I think that I would tell your Mom that you appreciate all she does and that you are willing to help out! I would tell her that you are willing to do some other things and maybe can share picking up your sister, tell her you are also overwhelmed and really trying, perhaps you could offer to set a time once a week that you can run errands, do some housework, or go grocery shopping maybe 4 hours that you can devote totally to help her. See if you can negotiate it sounds like your both overwhelmed and you should try and find a good solution! Good Luck!

Answer 8

I know how you feel, I too have been in this situation however you must think to yourself what they are providing for you in exchange. While I disagree with having the older child parrent the others what is your mom paying for. Car, car insurance, college, food, housing? If you added all of the expenses up then you would be getting paid quite a bit. I understand it is frusterating however you will come to learn that there are others out there who would gladly do the things you do for the things you get in return.

Answer 9

I don't think you should complain about picking your sister up. Sure, you're busy, but so is everyone else. As for the kid being picky - I'd make dinner and if she doesn't like it - let her go hungry.

Answer 10

Cheryl K AND car_craze_ga... have the right answer.. combine them both and there you go.. period.