My fiance leaves for the marines on Sept. 18th.?

Question

Everybody says it is for single men. We have been together for 5 years and have a two year old daughter. People are making me nervous for letting him join. They say we won't last. I wan't to know do most relationships make it through and last living on base?

Answer 1

One of the things families are told in the Marine Corps is, "If the Marine Corps wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one." It is possible for you to keep your family strong though. There are many organization on Marine bases for family support when your spouse is deployed (this includes if the spouse is female). They just don't tell you about them. Just remember that you married him and he married you. That should be the basis of your relationship. Keep strong in your faith and keep in touch. If he gets deployed, he may not be able to answer you in a timely manner, so don't get discouraged. It can be done, you both just need to keep strong. Tell your fiance "Semper Fi!"

Answer 2

When I served I saw some good guys slip as did the, "good girls" back home. You can be assured of one thing. If your husband sees combat it will change him, however this does not mean that what is between the two of you has to change, but as a general rule people do tend to drift apart....So what I am saying to you is that there are no guarantees, but the two of you are going to have to both put in a little extra effort to make things work as a military relationship is anything but A typical. Remember a relationship is a two way street and as long as the both of you keep that in mind the chances are more in your favor. Ultimately this is a question that the only you and your husband can explore and decide the outcome.

Semper Fi and God Bless.

Answer 3

It sounds like the two of you have established a committed relationship...5 years and a daughter?...proof that it's more than just puppy love. Of course, nobody knows your relationship better than you two...if you've had 5 bumpy years and felt like things were going in a sour direction then this move may not be a good one. Honestly, he's going to be away from you and vise versa...both of you are going to want eachother and neither will be near the other. That's the worst part of it. Hopefully the two of you have discussed this matter amongst yourselves before now...it's a big step and will change both of your lives for sure. When he's done, and the two of you have been relatively faithful, you'll be stronger than ever!
Guaranteed

Answer 4

Having spent six years active duty in the Marines, having done three long term deployments (two floats - six months each and the first gulf war - five months), numerous shorter deployments, etc., I feel very qualified to answer this.

Yes, your relationship can most certainly endure. Your fiance is getting ready to embark on the most positive life-changing experience a person can undertake. The Marines' motto is Semper Fidelis - always faithful. It is more than a saying, it is a way of life. The Marine Corps is about honor, tradition, and service. There is no more noble calling.

That having been said, you are about to embark on a nail-biting, nerve-wracking experience of your own. He will write to you about how horrible it is, how much he misses you and your daughter, how he regrets those things he may have done, etc. He means it, but he doesn't. He will endure. When he returns, you will not know what to make of him at first. He has changed. Now, he will be his own person, his own man, your Marine.

In my many deployments, I heard families talk about those cheating Marines with women in every port, etc. It's horse hockey. The very large number of Marines I knew and watched were faithful to their spouses and girlfriends. It was a very rare Marine that deviated and he was not idolized for his prowess, he was ignored or chastised for his lack of fidelity to that woman.

Now, I feel compelled to say this. Base housing can be a trip. At Camp Lejeune, there was a tremendous amount of rumors as to how the wives acted when we deployed. They'd dress up and head to the clubs. I cannot say that is true, but I do know that there were a lot more spouses cheating than there were Marines. If it's not in your heart, don't let it in. As to all the nay-sayers determined to make you question your relationship, politely thank them for their advice and tell them that your Marine will remain Semper Fi.

Answer 5

once you're married, the chances go up as long as you both try. If even one of you gives up slightly, it will probably go down hill. However, YOU must accept that he might be gone for up to a year on deployments while you are at home guarding the kid, paying the bills, and growing on your own. When we deployed, out of 136 Marines in my company, 72 were married. When we came back after 6 months to a year,out of 72, i'd day about 60% got divorced withing 3 months of being back. WHile on base, both of you will be fine. Money might be a little tight at first, but you'll work. Hard times is when he goes on deployment. The question then becomes, will you wait for him and will you be loyal to him? Sorry to say, but that is how things are in the Corps. Again, if you to work on it and stay with it, you'll be fine and do great. If you can't or he can't, you'll fail. Talk to eachother, help eachother, comfort eachother, and most importantly, DON"T argue about money and DON"T go to be angry.

Answer 6

Military life can be a strain on a new marriage. One of the things that will help if you get to live on base is that there will be lots of other families in the same situation. Young married life and starting a new career is difficult regardless of the career. Both of you working at it will give you the best chance.

Answer 7

yes they do last and once his basic and advanced training is over you and your daughter can live with him in on base housing, you will have medical care, food and schools on base too. one thing though you will see great changes in him so don't get worried, they will be good for the both of you, he may seem distant at first but once he settles back into a life with you and your child things will settle down. one thing though i am sure you have to be officially married though and many choose the day after graduation or family day to do it, small ceremony etc. perhaps you can marry before he goes? but one thing for sure you tell him and this goes for you too, thank you so much for your sacrifice and committment to this country and its people, you will find some that disrespect you and him but the majority honor you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts because without you sacrificing your and your child's time and he his we would not be this great nation...be safe, we wish you well and may the weeks ahead pass quickly.....

Answer 8

I don't know what the percentages are hon, but I won't deny that it takes a lot of work to nurture your marriage as a military family.

Get plugged in and take advantage of all your support networks in the military. Keep yourself involved and busy so you are not left longing for your husband while he is absent.

You are taking on a huge commitment, not only to your husband and baby, but to your nation. Thank you. Without women like you, supporting our men in uniform, we wouldn't be the nation that we are.

Believe in him and believe in your marriage and together you will be the best parents you can be, all while serving your Country well.

God bless

Answer 9

Well it is up to him not you. If he goes around screwing army chikitas then it is his fault for destroying your relationship. Here is a good idea. You should buy him a laptop computer with a web cam and then you can talk and view each other on there, have inter-sex and maintain your lovin that way. Just make sure his army mates aren't standing out of the webcam view watching you dive for pearls

Answer 10

the military has a 75% divorce rate but if you make a commitment and can stick with it "in good times and in bad" I think you will do just fine