sick and tired of being sick and tired?

Question

my whole life i have never "fit in"..i grew up in 14 foster homes with tons of abuse/ rejection..my adult life has been a little better but not much..i have PTSD, dysthemia .. have been in therapy for 7 years and on meds..my last date was in sept of 1991...its not like i havent been out there...have been on 8 online dating sites...plenty who want just sex but none that want a relationship..i have declined in health and am now on disability..i have come to the point that ppl are self centered, mean and i hate going out in public..im homely and have gained wt on top of it..i have casted out friends that were harmful and am now left with nothing..i am buddhist, dont believe in suicide..but i no longer wish to live and i pray for death..i no longer now how to look at life..im sick of being thrilled about trees, birds, my animals..i no longer wish to get hurt by humans..is there such a thing of someone who there is just no hope for? no need for? a drain?

Answer 1

Your antidepressant is definitely not working. Please go to your doctor and insist that something new is tried. If your doctor refuses, get a new one. Maybe it is time for a new therapist. Are you using a psychiatrist for your meds? Most family doctors are not as well versed in the medicines used as a psychiatrist.

I understand praying for death, I understand not having the will to live, I get tired of people telling me stupid things to be thrilled about, I also have felt like I have never "fit" but the answer that I seem to always get when I pray is, "NO". I think that if your prayers are not answered or are answered with a "no". answer when you ask for death, you need to stay here. There is a plan for you and that includes living whether you like it or not! If you really do believe in prayer than you must try to keep the faith in the world around you. There is a lot of hope for you and there is a need for you or you wouldn't be here. I wish that you knew why you were here and what you are good for but I don't have the answer yet for even myself. The difference is, I know that someday we will both find out the mystery of why we are here.

Be good to yourself.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel. I have major depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety attacks, hypertension, im obese, etc... i know what you are feeling, i really do. Yes there is hope but it takes a lot of time and commitment. you have to want to get better. I've been suffering from depression since i was about 6 or seven years old. I was diagnosed with it about 6 years ago. i am now 18. i feel like there is no hope for me but i know there is. im on meds but no counseling. tried it. didn't work. Im thinking about giving it a second chance though. If you ever need to talk to someone you can email me and i will be your friend. I care about your well-being even though i don't know you. I care about everyone. I'm here.

Answer 3

You are really depressed my dear... are you taking any meds?
If so they don't seem to be helping you much.. Get some new meds and here's something you can do... go to the park and walk around get some fresh Air and don't worry about your weight i am not skinny neither i was abused as a child and in a foster home as well i had 2 siblings there with me whom was adopted out when i was like 12 it took me 25 years to find them and i got to see them a few years ago... we don't really communicate much... I had cancer and was raped when i was 15 and my entire life just pretty much sucked..... i always thought when a guy sleep with you he loves you... B S If someone really loves you he'll be there for you no matter what... right now I'm twice divorced and currently married 18 years to a cheater i know i could probably find a different guy that would treat me good but i just feel at 44 i`m getting to old for change...Please dont pray to die you need to learn to love Life and try to love yourself... i created 3 wonderful Sons whom are all Adults now and they give me strength each day... One is a 2nd LT in the army one's a Mechanic in Germany and the other my "baby" is a driver for a copy machine place....he's about to attend college... If you want you can write me... someone does care dear

Answer 4

wow hun, Im sorry. Wish I could help . I too have bad health & am sick & tired of being sick & tired but Im not to the saddness youve reached. All I can say if that not all people are bad, I know A LOT of them are but not all of us......dont give up I know that "sounds" weak & generic but I do mean it if that means anything.....Im not looking for a relationship but am always open to new friendships if youd liek to email me directly? cant offer a lot as like I said my health isnt too great, Im not rich, nor do I know people in high places but Im a nice person whos a good friend & always willng to talk & listen so its up to you....hope your find some happiness

Answer 5

Hmmm -- sounds like you have chosen not to live. That's normal. However, I have chosen to live. Not only to live, but to live life to it's fullest.
On April 24 of this year, I had a minor operation. I came home that afternoon. On June 1, I had a major operation. I could have come home the following day except that I was scheduled for another major operation on June 6. I spent 4 days in the hospital being pumped full of anti-biotics from the first operation, one day in transportation from one city to another for the second operation, the operation, and was released to come home on the 7th. Any of these could have made me lethargic and feeling sorry for myself. On September 15 I start as a team captain of a volley ball league.
I've lead a good life. It has been full of rejection. I still remember the girl who, when I asked if she would care to dance, replied, "No, I'm not that hard up!" Nor the high school counselor who said that I shouldn't plan for college because I wouldn't be able to cut it. I graduated in 3 years. Nor the Army recruiter who said that I wouldn't qualify for OTC School as I couldn't cut it. I graduated 2nd in my class in NCO school. Don't listen to what "they" say. Believe in yourself and what can you do.

Answer 6

Your picture has horses in it, I wonder if you would be happier caring for horses? You are in a position to do whatever makes you happy. You can be a volunteer in almost any occupation you like because you will have an income from disability. Take this time to find something that really makes you happy.

Answer 7

You are completely depressed. OMG. You must talk to someone new about your depression and have them review your meds. Then, CHOOSE. You can choose to get up and take a walk. Then, CHOOSE to go to the nearest Jr. College or University and enroll in one class. Then, CHOOSE to go to that class every time without fail. CHOOSE to live. Don't look at the negatives, at school you will find people who just want to learn and expand their minds. CHOOSE you are going to live once and choose to make friends, drink a glass of wine, and laugh.

Answer 8

very good writing skills. why don't u publish your emotions? maybe you'll feel better when u see ur self in print and realize u have accomplished something in life. see....there is a point in living. email me if u need to talk anytime. [e-mail]

Answer 9

honey, i feel your pain.....I am in a nursing home am young still 43.........i can't kill myself but pray i won't wake up mostdays...........if you need a friend feel free to email [e-mail]...i'll be a friend

Answer 10

no there is hope for everyone !
try calling out to Jesus ,he has a plan for you