My husband says I am fat. I know i need to loose the gut? He stop having sex with me? Cheating i don't think?

Question

what should i do? Iam still young we have being married for five years got 2 children? He says I am lazy but i take care of the house and cather to him! I love him! I know he is not cheating and he is addicted to porn. He says he likes wacthing it because it satisfys him? What am i to do!!!!

Answer 1

Bless your heart! This is a lot for you to have to deal with. Things don't sound good, but you knew that already. Is there someone you can talk to about these problems in person, like a counselor or trusted relative or a minister?

It would be really, really nice if your husband would be willing to go to marriage counseling to work on some of these issues with you. A lot of men are afraid to do that for fear that the counselor will take the woman's side. However, counselors are usually pretty fair and try not to take sides.

Sometimes it's hard for men to deal with marriage after children come. I'm not excusing their behavior, just stating a fact. It's hard to get couple time and often they have no idea how hard it is to take care of children, particularly if the wife stays at home with them. As for "losing the gut", who has time in between dishes and laundry and keeping the kids from killing each other? Your husband wouldn't be the first person to wrongly assume that just because his wife was at home all day, she had plenty of time and was lazy.

It sounds like you really want to work on the marriage. Does your husband feel the same way? Does he understand your side of the story at all, or is it "all your fault"? Remember, it takes two people to take a marriage, and it is almost never all one person's fault when there are problems.

The business about his watching porn "because it satisfies him" sounds like an excuse to me, like he wants to do it anyhow but is trying to blame it on you. There are many, many men who are happy to make love to their wives with or without a gut. They see their wives as more than a body.

If your husband isn't willing to try counseling or some other way to work on your marriage, you may have to start thinking about how you're going to take care of yourself and your babies without him. I hope it doesn't get to that point, but it may.

Again, I hope you can find someone you can talk to in person who will be supportive.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

Is this a serious question. Not gonna lie you're technically too young by law to have sex. If the cops walk in on you having sex then you're screwed. If not then its cool. Stay protected man. Also, Whats the purpose of you telling us she cheated on you. Your story sounds kinda fictional. If you are a 14 year old virgin and wanted to know if you can have sex then yes, you can, unless you do it in front of a cop. Most 14 year old guys are virgins. Good Luck man.

Answer 3

If you are not ready to lose the weight, there is no point. If he loves you, he would accept your wishes. He does not sound like the ideal husband as he does not respect you or care for you the way a man should. By withdrawing sex, he is almost blackmailing you and this is not a healthy marriage. I think you should consider leaving him as this has the potential to leave you very unfulfilled and very unahppy and that is not good for you or your children. Take care and good luck : )

Answer 4

The adiction to porn is a difficult one. That addiction has the problem of bringing an unrealistic reality into the picture. If he's that far into his addiction you need to demand he get help. If he refuses then I would get a divorce. However; if he chooses to get help and you really love him it may be doable.

As adults we have to be responsible for our actions, attitudes, and views. The pornography gave him unhealthy and unrealistic views. If he is willing to kick the habit then you guys might have a chance. However; you can't make him do something he is not willing to. Afterall, he is an adult. Responsible for his actions as well as his inactions.

Answer 5

I can only tell you how the women in my family handle these things...

Burst into tears and start screaming hysterically about what a f---ing insensitive a$$hole he is, and who does he think he's talking to, if not the woman he married and who gave him five, count them, five, kids and suffered through labour with all of them while his a$$ was down in the pub with his bloody friends? [by then he will be totally confused]

Then start throwing things, preferably things that shatter nicely, like glasses and ashtrays (be sure they just miss his head)

Then take whatever porn he has, or whatever he's using to view it, even if it is a computer, and slam it into the concrete of the driveway

Then start dragging suitcases out and throwing HIS things into them, until he either apologizes or runs away for a few hours.

By this time, all thoughts of porn and weight loss should be completely gone from his mind, and the issues won't come up again.

Answer 6

My husband tells me that men are no longer sexually attractive to women when they lose their shape. He says he doesn't want to hurt me, he's just being honest. He masturbates with porn and I am trying to improve my appearance.Don't fool yourself, he has or will cheat. Go to the top of questions and ask how to loose the gut. It won't be easy but it can be done. Start with 10 crunches until you get to 100 or more, cut out all sugar and fat--no fried food or desserts. Sodas are loaded with sugar.Drink a lot of water, eat fresh fruit and vegetables, red meat no more than once a week, fish twice and chicken.

Answer 7

You don't deserve to be treated this way. You need to address the things he is telling you be honest about the way you feel. To get some exercise try taking the kids on 30 min walk daily, try to get your husband to go with you two. Cook healthier meals and watch portion sizes, cooking light has great recipes. You could also try mixing it up in the bedroom maybe by dressing up, ask your husband what turns him on. You may love your husband but evaluate what is best for you and your children.

Answer 8

Honey if you love him lose the gut im chubby my self its easyer said than done but if yall have stoped having sex i say do what it takes to get it back in your life I wish you luck really dont lose your man start exercising show him your active make him want you and for the porn natural hes a guy

Answer 9

Can you say DIVORCE????
If my husband started verbally abussing me like that he would find a set of papers in his hands sooo quick.
Don't loose the weight for him, do it for yourself. If you are happy with yourself then don't worry about it.

Answer 10

I say tell him to look in the mirror, he has no right to say those things to you, and the porn thing , well that needs to go . seems to me he loves that more than you. leave him I am sure you can find better.....